It Just gets wierder

[Michelle James]

The 5% or so of me that is still male needed a haircut today. I also had a wig that needed a touch up. So I made an appointment at my usual salon. I went in girl mode since I have been that way for the last 2 months except for a few hours on Christmas and a couple of unavoidable hours here and there. Normally I don't let anyone see me without my wig unless I am in guy gear. Today i figured since this is a very TG friendly place what the h#$$. I'm in the middle of my haircut and in walks a guy with the biggest grossest mole covered puss oozing nose I have ever seen in all my 56 years. Just when I was thinking how much I admired the fact that he was out and about despite this deformity and surly he must be an accepting type he went and did it. He said to the receptionist "maybe I should come back when it's not so weird in here". I must admit that me in girl clothes without my wig would qualify as weird, so I let it go. He took a seat about 5 or 6 feet away from where I was getting my haircut. The stylist he was waiting for told him she would be with him as soon as she could. He then said under his breath but loud enough for me to hear "how much longer do I have to look at this circus freak". I'm sure that the owner was about to handle it but before she could say a thing I said "circus freak? really, Cyrano when was the last time you looked in a mirror?" I know it was insensitive but it put him in his place and he sat there quiet the rest of the time. Even though several people seemed pleased with my response I feel bad for the guy. Should I??

[Gina X]

No he was being nasty to you and you gave as good as you got. Nobody has the right to go about being nasty to other people and if they do they should expect repercussions .................

[Niya W]

people in glass houses .

[DebsUK]

Damn it girl, should you have done it? YES!
Actally, that prick got off easily. I mean. Cyrano? Come on, think bigger. John Merrick, the Elephant Man! "*SNORT* I am not *SNORT* an anima...l. I am a *SNORT* " revert to normal voice "bigoted moron"
Of course, in my instance I would have just told him to fook off and thought of the smart reply later that day

[Kaz]

Why feel for him? He sure wasn't feeling for you! You did right! people like that need to think about things a lot!

[Roberta Marie]

Yes, feel sorry for his ignorance, his narrow mindedness, his short sightedness,, and his bigotry. Feel sorry that he will never get to know people like you and me, that have a lot to offer in friendship and a lot to contribute to society. Feel sorry for all of those like him that will never be able to see their face for their nose.

By the way, I think you handled it well.

[Christie ann]

He certainly had an attitude and needed to be put in his place. I still can't figure out why my wearing a dress can intimidate anyone so much that they feel compelled to be mean.

[Debglam]

Yes (to telling him off) No to feeling bad about it!

Frankly, this post coupled with your purse snatching incident have bumped you up to hero status in my book!

Give 'em hell girl!


Debby

[kay2]

My idealistic side kicks in and I think this might have been a proverbial "teachable moment." Since he was willing to be vocal you might have been able to have a conversation with him. Though I doubt such a conversation would have made him change his beliefs, it might have pushed him a tiny bit in the right direction.

Then my practical side kicks in, and I realize that though more people in the US are accepting of gays than previously, some never will be. The best one can hope for with the neanderthals is to intimidate them into silence. So, if this guy was as incorrigible as he sounded, then maybe you succeeded in this direction.

Perhaps his own appearance is a factor in his beliefs. Anyhow, I'm sorry you got the abuse, and I'm glad you stood up for yourself. You go!

[AnnaCalliope]

people in glass houses .

Get thrown out of windows?

[Alice B]

Hell no. If he wants to play with fire he has to accept the fact that he will get burned.

[Billie Jean]

You go girl, he deserved all you gave him. Billie Jean

[Cynthia Anne]

If the shoe fits wear it! What comes around goes around! You make me proud!

[Niya W]

Get thrown out of windows?

Some times, other times kids come along with bats and break every window out.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Pat yourself on the back for bringing up some feelings of remorse here, and then call it good. The really sad thing is though that those types will never learn.
I'm sure that in your journeys out there in public you are educating a fair amount of good folks, consider this one a lesson of another kind.

Cassie

[TGMarla]

It's okay to feel badly for the guy, while still putting his sorry little carcass in his place. Remember that the only reason he puts others down is to make himself feel better. You really have to pity someone who has to live his life like that.

But just imagine how he'd have felt had to said to him that you were sorry for him.

[Stacye Rose]

You gave him the power to upset you. then you decended to his level by responding to him. People like that are not worth the air it takes to respond to, much less in kind. My mother used to tell me that if you hate someone at least they know you care. The only thing jerks like this deserve is silent indifference

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, feel sorry for his ignorance, his narrow mindedness, his short sightedness,, and his bigotry. Feel sorry that he will never get to know people like you and me, that have a lot to offer in friendship and a lot to contribute to society. Feel sorry for all of those like him that will never be able to see their face for their nose.

By the way, I think you handled it well.

I agree with Roberta, Marla and others that posted!
U possibly should regret that u responded that way and that he had his impediment!

But, feel sorry for HIM because of what u said? Nah! If he's THAT much of a jerk, I'm sure he's USED TO IT! Lol!

[Cristi]

You gave him the power to upset you. then you decended to his level by responding to him. People like that are not worth the air it takes to respond to, much less in kind. My mother used to tell me that if you hate someone at least they know you care. The only thing jerks like this deserve is silent indifference

While I agree with this in principle, I also feel that there is a need for... I'm not quite sure how to say this... corrective action? If somebody like this can go out in public and spout hateful things like this and all anybody ever does is turn the other cheek, then nothing ever changes.

I certainly see the value of giving his chain a sharp tug. Let him know that what he said is NOT OK and will NOT be tolerated. There is no need to be cruel while making the point, but perhaps if he is confronted a few times he may start to see that not everybody shares his point of view, and not everbody will tolerate it.

[KrystalA]

To paraphrase on old saying -- Do unto others as others do unto you -- You did the right thing.

[James Kaon]

You feel bad because you did have sympathy for his appearance, but also acceptance, to the extent that you assumed he would have a similar level of acceptance of those who do not conform? But that was not returned - so for me, you were cool to say what you did... If someone actually has the guts to broadcast something I am sure they know deep down is intolerant, then I am sure a little brainfood will only be good for them (i mean in this case to compare prejudice they have faced with prejudice they would dish out).

J

[Being Paige]

Sounds like you handled it very well.
I was always told if you didn't have anything nice to say then you shouldn't say anything at all!
sounded like he needed a reminder of this.

[Charise52]

People need to be put in their place at times (this also applies to all of us as well)... the right language pattern can do the job... and you did well... he will think about that for a long time... and hopefully he will learn...

[KellyCD]

Yes, you did the right thing. People need to be put in their places.

[5150 Girl]

I think it should have been used as a learning experience for him. I belive God gave us our little difences so we can learn to deal with them justly and apropriately.

As to his atitues though, I think most people belive we have a choice in the matter. People need to be taught that really, we don't.
His situation he has no choice in the matter, which is why I think he felt as if he could "throw stones"