Oh my! Please; isn't this too much info.?
Too many assumptions and labels.
Margot
Oh my! Please; isn't this too much info.?
Too many assumptions and labels.
Margot
I don't know enough about BDSM to have a right to comment on anyone else's posts about it, but I don't care for it in my private moments as a bi-sexual crossdresser, and I don't care for it in my heterosexual relationships either.
It has been explained to me that BDSM is a complex thing, and that for people who get involved in it the person who is being e.g. tied up is just as likely to be the person in charge of the situation as not.
I am aware that there are dozens of sites on the web which cater to "sissy," "french maid," "school girl" and "bride" fantasies and, frankly, the few times I've scoped them out my reaction has been of the "there's something crawling on my skin" variety.
hello,
just a thought - being forced to wear the clothing might take away the guilt of wanting to do it?
luv, J
Love BDSM
I am Very interested in lite BDSM and have had done it A few times as a sub.
I am always safe and set-up a safe word if i start to feel uneasy about what is going on. so far I have not had to use it.
Mistybtm
This is one of those threads that make me cringe, not because of the subject, but because the topic is one that should be in a by inventation only section. again becuse this site helps spouses of the TG community and the topic is not part of mainstreet life.
But to answer your questions
Question 1 No.
Question 2 No.
I don't see BDSM as mainstram to CD , the meetups, and coventions i've attended and most i've read about do not promote it. It may have a subculture within, but does not seen germain to it.
Getting in the thread late so maybe I'm saying what has already been said. The D/s avenue might be a way for someone to explore this part of themselves by adopting a rationale that it's not strictly their decision. So, in that way, the dominant is sort of an enabler or even a guide. If that ultimately works, then so be it.
For me, it was critically important that I accept this part of myself on my own terms so, the D/s approach isn't a good fit for me. Besides that, I find dressing to be an empowering experience.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -- Mark Twain
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Kelly, I respect your opinion and have enjoyed many of your posts. But this opinion struck a cord with me. In another thread I felt exactly like you, and even commented that the topic should have it's own private section for the very same reason you gave about this being a site that helps spouses of the TG community.Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter
Since I am involved in BDSM with my SO, needless to say I don't mind this being an open topic. But more importantly, I sense many do not understand that the term BDSM is exactly like the umbrella term "TRANSGENDERED" that includes all crossdressers from fetish to full time. It also includes transsexual, both pre op and post op. Then there are the gender benders, the androgynous. Some straight, some bisexual and some gay.Another words, it's a very broad term just like the term BDSM. I do not engage in most forms or what is called BDSM. My SO and I are Dominant and submissive (D/s) Our relationship is a very loving, very caring power exchange and who we are to each other. That is, she is in charge. To me, it's a segment under that big umbrella that I wish was not even under it! So if we moved all BDSM forums to a separate and maybe private section of our site, then don't you think we should also move all talk about CD's dating men to it's own forum too? Then what about the bisexual crossdressers...I guess we have to move then too. After all, this section is read by the spouses that came here to learn and accept their crossdressing partners and if they read threads about CD's dating men and being bisexual, that would make many of our beloved spouses fear that her CD is into men or is bisexual.
Point is, I don't think a scared and hurt GG spouse should have to wade through threads involving CD's dating CD's or men. Surely with your wanting to segregate all BDSM talk, you see my point. Personally I think it is far worse or some spouses to read about the bisexual or gay CD dating men or other CD's is far worse then the topic of BDSM when coming here to learn and accept her CD husband.
So where do we draw the line and still be supportive to our GG's?
Is it OK to talk openly about same sex dating and not OK to talk about BDSM? Should they both have there own private section like FAB or GM sections that are only open to members?
It appears that you think BDSM is somehow worse then bisexual CD dating or am I missing something?
Like most of us will agree, society is mis-informed and uneducated about all things under the umbrella of Transgenderism But now I think many here are just as mis-informed and uneducated on all things under the umbrella of what BDSM is and is not.
This is in no way a personal attack on Kelly. I happen to really like and respect her. I guess it just struck a nerve when she suggested BDSM should not be public, yet the open CD dating men or each other must be OK since she did not voice the same concern about that minority lifestyle choice that I think many GG spouses would have more concern over then BDSM.
And please, I respect those that are bi or gay. I don't have an issue with either. But yes, I did suggest in another thread that it might be better out of sight of our GG spouses.
People just need to use their brain. If a black man does something, does that mean ALL black men do that? If a woman does something, does that mean ALL women do that? If a crossdresser does something does it mean...
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Brandy,
No worries, I respect your opinion too. My thoughts for certain threads being in seperate sections is because people process information in degrees they feel comfortable with. Think of it like a book store. If someone goes to a book store, they can find topics arranged by categories.
So if someone say a conservative gg who has just found out her husband of 15 years likes to wear womens cloths on Sat instead of golfing with her. She finds this site and is reading through the Male to Female Crossdressing section and 'bam' sees two or three threads on BDSM with 289 replies and reads through it, she "may" form an opinion that ALL crossdressers are into BDSM and that thats where her life is going to end up. Or let's say a younger TG person finds this site, I'm sure most parents here would feel more comfortable if information in BDSM were in it's own section because minore ARE impressionable under the age of 18 (or insert your countrys legal age). Just like the FAB section and the Loved Ones Section, I just believe in my heart that it would serve our community here to have such posting in it's own section.
We don't have to 'draw a line' , just organize the information a bit better.
On a personal note. While BDSM is not my 'cup of tea', I do find reading peoples thoughts on the subject interesting and thought provoking. It seems that most people in this community get as much if not more enjoyment in the theatrical setting of the 'secene' then in the sex act itself, which is appealing in an artistic sense.
Kelly
Last edited by Kelly DeWinter; 02-17-2011 at 09:54 AM. Reason: clarity
My foray into BDSM began as a way to find acceptence....it seems perfectly acceptable to a large percentage of the Female Dominants for a submissive male to be expected to be dressed enfemme....as if in some way this makes them easier to control and more submissive. All I know is that I have found many Dominants who are willng to interact with me as a Female and not as a Male.
[SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.
I have ordered a real corset; Now is that considered Bondage????
If it is, well I can not wait. LOL
Rader
Ummm, I may be wrong here, but it is about demand. And b4 I post this i will do a test. Wow. Ok, I typed "tits" into google and got porn sites... Nothing about womens health..., I tried "virgina" - actually alot of health and questions came up as well as porn. I tried crossdresser and wiki was second after a pics site...
Hmm now im more asking question than answering, but really, i think if there are more porn links, Im guessing it is because it is searched alot, meaning there are alot out there who wanna see it...
Interesting - but I have no idea if my experiment qualifies)))))
No I dont think I am into BDSM, but if a girl wanted it, I guess I would be open to it...
Jx
Is there such thing as a 'fake' corset ? LOL
Mine is an urge that comes from a place of enjoyment of BDSM. I am fortunate in that my wife knows and supports me. We play together with me as the sub and her as the dom. I actually do not dress when we are not playing, although at one time when she was working out of town, I dressed en femme, and just sort of hung out araound the house. I have a big "maid" type fetish, so of course I cleaned during most of the time. lol. But I have to admit, it made me feel sexy and I had fun just being dressed, and hanging around the house.
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