Please don't tell me what I think, especially when you're wrong.Originally Posted by Areyan
Please don't tell me what I think, especially when you're wrong.
um....no. I'm hardly unique. Case in point...arguably one of the most desired men nowadays is desired while dressed like this:
http://www.digital-digest.com/blog/D...ck_sparrow.jpg
It just needs a small change in perception on the part of women, I believe, to make it more publicly acceptable to like femme men.
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 01-31-2011 at 12:06 PM. Reason: hotlinking pictures is not allowed
The above paints a picture of women with a broad brush. I disagree. IF everything else is going good in the relationship and it is based on love, honesty, trust and open communication, I think many women can deal with it if not embrace it. Many will accept it with various limitations and boundaries including never wanting to see their man dressed or be asked to participate. But they will give him space to do his thing within her comfort level. But love is a strong emotion that allows us to accept things we otherwise would not want any part of.Some women here (like our lovely cordgrass are into CDs and this doesn't put her off) but she is unique in that way. for dyed-in-the-wool straight women their male partner cross dressing as a woman makes them highly uncomfortable. the fact that a lot of CDs try to hide it and closet themselves is testament to the straight women they hook up with - if she doesn't know it's one hell of a shock to find out she was wrong about her man. and no, i'm not calling CDs gay, but it does boggle a straight partner's mind to try to understand why their so-called straight male partner wants to emulate the female gender.
I fully agree. most women that are not stubbornly opinionated, overly judgmental, or overly religious can and do come to terms with her mate's crossdressing. Our Forums are full of them. In my own experience, I have found acceptance by 2 past wives and my current SO; Not to mention more then a handful of GG friends I have told about my crossdressing and in doing so, made those friendships stronger and closer.
These two statements caught my eye and I would like to comment on them. I apologise if the comments extend beyond what people want to discuss on this forum, or they have been discussed before, or they should be in a separate thread.
Anyway, here goes. In my opinion, these comments address the funadamental principle behind a relationship/marriage. Historically, a marriage/relationship has been based on the need to procreate. This is best exemplified by the resistance to "gay" marriage by most religious bodies. If this is accepted as the definition of a marrauge/relationship, then crossdressing can be seen to be antithetical to that definition. If, however, the marriage/relationship is based on a partnership built on love, trust and respect, then crossdressing need not be a factor in the success of the partnership. The only qualification here is that hiding the crossdressing could/will strain the realtionship because is runs counter to the issue of trust.
I think many women dont like it because they are insecure in themself and see a man as their foundation to feel security... acting fem disturbes that foundation they require or desire. Perhaps I have not had too many issues with my women in the past because I am a rough and tough guy to begin with and they can still see the man when I wear women's clothing. I do not change my voice or put on makeup.
Ever notice so many women like gay men or feminine men as long as its NOT THEIR man.
"If pantyhose can make my legs look this good, imagine what they can do for yours" - Joe Namath
I hadn't laughed so hard in months. I have never heard anything so silly.
Obvious reasons such as the deception, not what they signed up for etc... None of this would matter if not for the fact that society shuns those that do not follow the norm, particularly when it comes to blurring the gender lines.
I think it's the fear of having their friends or family find out that their significant other is what many perceive to be of as less than a man. It's not so much what they think of us as crossdressers. It's what others might think of us and by association, of them as well.
There are aspects of my crossdressing that are outwardly reflected in my personality of which I'm sure is part of what attracted my wife. I don't care for sports so I'm not glued to the TV every weekend, I'm sensitive/empathetic, I think only of our family and their needs, I share in the mundane duties of the home. What sane woman would reject those qualities or trade them for a much more manly man?
People talk of "fairy tale" lives and marrying manly men. "Fairy tales" are fiction with real princesses/royalty living on tabloids as more of a curiosity and a joke. Many marriages fail because... (following the traditional/stereotypical sense of what it is to be a man) the husbands are manly men.
Thinking rationally about it, I'm still just me. I'm not about to change that. It's just clothing expressing a more softer side of me, and I like it. Don't want to see it? No problem, I'll stay in the closet. Oh, please be a dear and close the door behind you.
Ginger
Ginger,
I agree with a lot of what you are saying, butwould like to address a couple of your comments. [These are my thoughts, so feel free to challenge them.]
(1) Many women (but not all) go for the manly Man because that is what society expects them to do, and they are scared of society's (and their family's) disapproval of not going for that image.
(2) With regard to marriages failing because of the manly Man husband, I agree that some marriages fail precisely because of it. However, I wonder how many marriages fail because the husband feels he has to play/portray that manly Man role when he is not that type? That is, do some marriages fail precisely because the men deceive themselves and their partner in trying to be the manly Man?
Oh....MY GOD!!! These are the most cogent reasons I have seen for this behavior, on both parts. There have been many times I have felt compelled to "act like a man" and give a fig about the results of sports game. The only sports I really like are those that involve machines and high speed. Sorry, I am a gear head as well. I appreciate football, and baseball, and love to play such (yes, I have played football, and had some leggings destroyed in the process :P), but I don't wear sports related clothing like jerseys, and such. I was rather perturbed when I saw the HUGE party that came out in San Francisco when the Giants won the world series. Not a few weeks before the voter turnout was abysmal, and yet ALL of these people show up for a sports team's victory parade. Talk about misplaced priorities.Ginger,
I agree with a lot of what you are saying, butwould like to address a couple of your comments. [These are my thoughts, so feel free to challenge them.]
(1) Many women (but not all) go for the manly Man because that is what society expects them to do, and they are scared of society's (and their family's) disapproval of not going for that image.
(2) With regard to marriages failing because of the manly Man husband, I agree that some marriages fail precisely because of it. However, I wonder how many marriages fail because the husband feels he has to play/portray that manly Man role when he is not that type? That is, do some marriages fail precisely because the men deceive themselves and their partner in trying to be the manly Man?
I do think many men fall into the trap of being "manly men" based on stupid stereotypes, and many women fall for said "manly men" also based on stupid stereotypes and expectations. It is also little wonder the divorce rate is so high as well.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
I guess nobody can be who or what they really are. We are ALL hiding something of ourselves from everyone so we can live like "normal" people, whatever that is. Eventually we are found out (by our spouses) and our marriages either sink or float. What a sad existence.
So why do many women reject CD's? Expectations, fears, and stereotypes. Simple.
Ginger
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