[SIZE="2"]“Tolerance is another word for indifference.” (W. Somerset Maugham)
Do you want your crossdressing to be merely tolerated by non-crossdressers, or are you after something more substantial, like complete equality or freedom for your chosen lifestyle? In recent years, the word tolerance has been employed to pacify the alternative masses, making everyone feel nice and warm and sleepy, not realizing what’s going on. I suppose a certain amount of tolerance is SOMETHING, given with reluctance by those in power who may benefit by a public show of reassuring compassion, but shouldn’t we, as crossdressers, be less than satisfied with this token offering of insincere kindness?
I recently read a discussion on this topic, and I came across the following words by Wendy Brown, Professor of Political Science at UC Berkeley. Her point of contention is that tolerance, by itself, is inadequate, even though everybody is in favor of it these days:[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]“If you look closely at the etymology of tolerance, what do you see? Across every disciplinary field in which it is used, from mining, to minting, to engineering, to pharmaceutical research, to social life, tolerance is always about the management of some undesirable element or foreign body, invading or taking up residence within the host. It is about an element that one would rather not have to deal with – whether the “one” is a scientist or a social theorist or a political actor. Tolerance is always about managing some object of aversion, which is different, and different with a stigma – different is a problem. The host is neutral. The host is normal. The host is regular. The tolerated object is always, in some ways, problematic. But tolerance is not freedom, equality, or justice – rather, tolerance means permitting someone to exist within a certain set of conditions, a certain set of constraints, and a certain set of limits on behavior. (The word) is always being used to handle something or someone that is abject, subject or subordinated, and to do so in a very particular way. ”[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]With that in mind, we crossdressers can expect to be “allowed” to exist in the societal framework we find ourselves burdened with, but there seems to be a problem with gaining our fair helping of tolerance. The “limits on our behavior” are discussed on this site daily, along with the societal and familial constraints we bump into over and over. How come certain groups are tolerated, but the crossdresser in one’s midst is cause for a different type of concern? Are we skirting (pun intended) the boundary between tolerance and intolerance?
Tolerance implies a lack of bigotry, or patience with the beliefs, opinions, and practices of others. There is a certain permitted deviation from a standard (in this case what can be referred to as a “normal” human being), but we crossdressers seem to be beyond the pale, or too deviant, in the eyes of society. I mean, my neighbor might harbor tolerance for homosexuals, given the time we’re living in, yet equality for alternative sexualities is out of the question, given the PLACE we’re living in. I understand – my neighbor has children to protect and raise as normally as possible, meaning they can be expected to follow a pre-determined path in life that has nothing to do with perversity. Meanwhile, right next door, a transvestite exists, namely me, one who cannot expect any tolerance for his choice of lifestyle from the parents of young children, or society at large. My presence is a question mark, and must remain so, since, even though I am sweet and benign, I am thought of as a societal poison, dangerous to behold or even contemplate...
Who, outside of our own community, has the grace, sympathy, compassion, mercy, sensitivity, and understanding to drop any preconceptions one may have about crossdressers? We are associated with other groups for convenience, and even marginalized within those groups due to lack of understanding. I carry a stigma of association with me (perversion), unless I pretend to not care about my place in society and frolic within my own constraints, or lack of same. Indeed, there are NO limits on my behavior, and therein lies the reason why ZERO tolerance has been shoveled in my direction. Of course, I tolerate this injustice with good humor, preferring to sidestep any attempt to contain me. In my case, tolerance may refer to enduring pain or hardship (in the form of bigoted censure), all for the good of crossdressing and its undeniable personal benefits. True equality is only a distant dream, but I can be free in private, in my own little world, and not bother with what passes for liberality. In many ways we have been “bought off” with tolerance via lip service by supposedly sincere individuals, and we remain a misunderstood “parasite” in the host body of society, same as it ever was...
Are you satisfied with your crossdressing being merely “tolerated” in some small way, or do you want it to be tolerated with more equality? Does it matter to you, or do you not even think about it?
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Originally Posted by Frédérique
