Conflicted

[Michelle James]

I have been dressing mostly full time for the last couple of months and would like to continue to do so. Here's my issue. Every once in a while things come up that require the attention of my male self. Either a legal matter where I have to present as the male me or I have to attend a function where I am known. When this happens as it may tonight I feel as though I am letting myself down. I am miserable and depressed about it, sometimes for days afterward. Take tonight for instance. I need to attend an auction that has several items I need. (I'm an Ebay seller) The problem is I have attended this auction (it's a regular thing) several times in the past but only in drab. My SO will be going with me so since we have been there as a couple before I am worried someone will make the connection. normally I wouldn't care but this particular auction has been very profitable to me in the past.

So I ask you:

What would you do?

and for those of you who are full time does it feel like cheating when you need to go drab for a few hours?

[meri]

First, don't beat yourself up for not dressing for whatever reason. Give yourself a break, you are only human!

In my life, I try to give my SO the benefit of the doubt, if she is uncomfortable and can't tolerate my dressing, then I don't dress.

I never dress in business situations or around clients (well, most clients, well, usually). If in my opinion, my dressing might negatively affect my business relationship, then I don't dress.

I don't dress in some public situations, particularly if I don't know what to expect or don't know exactly who I might be with.

I sometimes feel I am not being "brave enough" or not living up to my own expectations, however, when that thought appears, I remember who I am and what I am doing. Then I remind myself that this takes a lot of courage and that I have to be in the right state of mind so I can walk tall and confident. That state of mind doesn't come everyday. I am, afterall, only human ---

So Michelle, give yourself the benefit of the doubt...

[5150 Girl]

Somtimes some things are just a "necacerry evil". Of course, in my experience, most of the time I find that people that knew the ugly me often like Wynonna better.

[linnea]

I don't think that it is cheating or wrong or evil or any other negative; it's just life for TG/full or nearly full-time CD people. As 5150 Girl, sometimes you just have to participate in a necessary evil. No need to feel guilty.

[DonnaT]

Dress the way you'll feel most comfortable, so you can keep your mind on your bidding. The auctioneers aren't worried about how someone looks, they just want you to bid. And to bid, just raise your number, no need to speak if you feel uncomfortable about speaking.

[julie w]

I think we have to be realistic , I feel the same way when I have to put Julie away to be Bob to go to work .but we need to make a living first without money
life can suck

[lauraabdl]

Amen to that Julie, this from one who worked all of their life only to find that now days jobs are nonexistent no matter how they dress.

[RADER]

What I do sometimes is put on your panties, hose if you wish, maybe a bra, and fem Jeans.
Now with a guy top, you would look dressed like anyone else where you are going.
If you need a say a sports coat, all the better. You will be under-dress and still feel fem
enough to get buy the event.

Rader

[Michelle James]

Update:

So I caved and went in drab. I was miserable. I had to leave my nails on as most are now acrylic and I have Shellac polish which takes a half hour to soak off. I wore gloves to cover but felt more out of place than if I would have just dressed. I won't do that again. Oh and I almost walked into the ladies room by mistake (habit i guess). My wife saved my ass on that one. Grabbed my arm and steered me to the other door. We only stayed about an hour and a half but I felt as if everyone was watching me. Very uncomfortable in my old skin now I guess.