Explaining Crossdressing

[busker]

Children in the US used to grow up racist, and thought that interracial relationships were immoral. Now, most young people don't see it as strange at all. They learned racism from the adults.

If I'm reading this correctly, I believe that you are mistaken. Just find any group of small children playing together from mixed ethnicities and you will see that they could give a hoot about race. As a child, I can't ever remember having "racial thoughts". The Civil Rights movement and Brown vs BOE decision were the big news factors.
You are correct that PARENTS who have strong racial bias are the culprits and fill their children with all sorts of hateful thoughts--and so do parents with extreme religious ideas. The Ministry of Parental Propaganda is in full tilt.
I just read something in the TIMES from the census that about 20% of marriages are now mixed. BUT, there is still a lot of racial bias in the land, and it is not lkely to ever go away--for many reasons.
Crossdressing is never going to be mainstream so we just have to reconcile ourselves to that fact. Besides, children don't have to know everything. Parents or adults are allowed to have a private life and maybe it should be that way. In the last 30 years or so, the tail has been wagging the dog anyway--children now control so much and parents tend to give up their parenting roles. Children have some rights, but there still need to be adults in charge.

[Pythos]

Renie, and Marla. You two should really do some research.

Women were more than disdained for wearing men's clothing, in fact one very famous person was burned at the stake with cross dressing as part of her reason for getting torched.

No no no. Women at first DID NOT shop in the women's section for WOMEN'S trousers....because they did not exist.

The argument may be tired, but it is not invalid. Women fought for, and gained the right to wear pants. They also went through quite a bit of hell from intolerant men. Girl's jeans are relatively new.

No, what needs to be said to the kids is simply this. Double standards are wrong, and you as a CD will not enforce those same double standards that used to say, "girls can't play footbal., girls can't play baseball, girls can't run businesses, girls can't fly airplanes, or drive cars." You know, all the claptrap that used to get fed to women ages ago....and sadly even now a days is still present.

By the way. The leather skirt I have, along with the only gray one I have....I got in the MEN'S section of a thrift store. Doesn't make it any easier wearing them without some disdain from others.

[ReineD]

Krystal, sorry to have gotten distracted by the "women are CDing when they wear pants" thing, I never did respond to your OP.

I understand that it's impossible to fully explain what it's like to be transgender to someone who isn't. It's like trying to fully explain what it's like to be a parent to someone who never had kids, but even more difficult since people don't see CDers every day.

But, your kids are old enough to have some basic understanding of alternate gender IDs and sexuality. They may even have friends who don't fit exactly within the binary definitions. You might find a good website that explains it further, but when you talk to them, instead of getting into a definition of a CD, you could focus on the emotional impact. You could talk about how you felt growing up and having different urges than the other boys, how difficult it was to come to terms with it, both within yourself and with your wife, how it makes you feel when people insist on hanging on to their bias based on no other knowledge than a few sketchy stereotypical images, and how you struggled all your life feeling that your family and friends would love you less if they knew. You could talk about the shame, the guilt, the self-deprecation, and the positive feelings you get when you do dress, and when you are with people who don't put you down for it.

Just a thought.


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Women [SIZE="3"]were[/SIZE] ...

There you go! lol. It's simply not true any more. And I doubt it was even true then. These sure don't look like men's pants to me!

Attachment 151327

[Stephanie47]

I'm with Marla and Reine on this issue. Wearing the clothing of the opposite gender is not necessarily cross-dressing in any clinical sense. I'm a product of the 1950's and 1960's. Back then females, young or old, did not customarily wear male clothing. There was a limited amount available, if any. I don't know because I never saw any females wearing male clothing. There was one exception. She was Linda, AKA 'Charlie.' She was our center fielder and a darn good one. She loved playing baseball. She wore boy jeans and a tee shirt. She was perceived as a 'tomboy.' I kind of wonder how she turned out? If women could play baseball as entertainers during World War II, why couldn't she play baseball in the 1950's? When Joe Namath disclosed he wore pantyhose to guard against the cold, there was some ribbing. However, he did not wear pantyhose as a sexual turn on. Now there are lines of male pantyhose for the same reason. There is no sexual aspect to them. During World War II women in the factories wore functional clothing. Nobody looks at a woman wearing jeans and a flannel shirt and declares she is a cross-dresser or a lesbian. There is no sexual aspect to her wearing such garb.

On the other hand. I, as a cross-dresser, love wearing female hosiery, high heels, a bra and girdle, a slip and a dress. Through a wig on! Throw on some makeup. What is the functionality of it? Zero. Back in the 1960's I bought, strictly for fashion sense, underwear of a nylon nature for men. Wearing it for its intended purpose, it was a mistake. Wearing nylon in a high temperature, high humidity environment was a mistake. I had to get back to my cotton absorbing Jockey shorts and tee shirts.

There is no valid argument that women wear male clothing, so why can't I freely wear feminine garb as described above. It is an aberration to the norm. Is it harmful? Obviously, it is harmful to some relationships and not others. I wear female clothing for reasons other than comfort. If I want to be comfortable, see me is the cutoff shorts, cotton tee shirt and sweat socks. There is nothing comfortable about a long line bra, girdle and stockings. But, how I love them! I love the stimulation of the cool air snaking up my dress during the cool nights or winter. My wife thinks I'm nuts. Back in the day, she wore mini-skirts and pantyhose waiting for the bus in freezing weather. She hated it. Now she wears more comfortable attire.

When I'm en femme it is not for comfort. Why? I still don't know!

[ReineD]

Wearing the clothing of the opposite gender is not necessarily cross-dressing in any clinical sense.

I appreciate all your points, Stephanie, but even the statement above can lead a CDer to believe that pants are, well, opposite gender clothing for women. Women have appropriated wearing pants since it all started, so the above description doesn't apply. When women wear pants, they are wearing female clothing ... (edited to add - except F2Ms, who wear men's pants).

PS. My mom wore pants in the 50's. In English, she called them 'slacks', a different name than 'pants'. But, in French it is the same word: 'pantalon'. I wore pants and shorts in the 50's too.

[Pythos]

Reine, you present a great pic, but what era, the 40s? I am not talking about the 40s. There was a time AFTER the 40s that women wearing this sort of attire were looked down upon by a majority of the population UNLESS it was worn for fashion shoots....much like how men in skirts at the moment are viewed.

Women mostly did not openly walk around doing erands and whatnot, wearing this sort of attire. That is not to say it was not done, it was just not all that accepted or popular.

Then sometime women started wearing pants as a primary part of their wardrobe.

Now that being said, you emphisized my word "were" I guess you are pointing out that that is in the past. YOu are correct.

So why is it a man wearing a skirt is still derided, and having his sanity questioned? Why does his manhood come into question?

Any way, what the hell does it matter anymore. Men should be able to wear what they want, just as women can.

Enough of the getting angry or upset when someone points out the fact right now it is not a level playing field when it comes to clothing.

[Danni Bear]

Pythos,

you are beating a dead horse with a broken club. I will agree with you in some respects in that some women's fashions are from men's fashions that have been modified for the female form. The also can be said for some male fashions. The only time most women crossdress is when they wear something of either their husband or boyfriend. very seldom will a woman wear male clothing as it does not fit a female form unless it is oversize.this includes pants or slacks as our hips and waists are different from mens and also the stride of them is considerably different between them.

Danni

[Pythos]

Okay, let me make this simple

SO WHAT?

So what most women don't wear item's of men's clothing. What does that matter.

That is not the problem. What the problem is men that wear clothing items that currently are only womens are painted with a broad "crazy" "perverted" "sicko" brush.

This is wrong, plain and simple.

And no, my GG wears her male roommates pants just fine, and she has hips, just is a smaller frame, so that rule about the fitting having to be right does not hold true all the time. All of my skirts fit me fine...they have not been modified, and I lack true hips, so that rule also got sunk.

It should not matter. No justifying a true double standard that should have gone away when women started wearing pants as their work attire.

[CaitlynRenee]

My youngest knows about Caitlyn but had never seen me dressed. She came home early one day, walked into my den and saw Caitlyn, all out fem, the whole shebang. She never missed a beat, said, "Hi Caity", came over gave me a kiss and hug, said "WOW, neat blouse. We've gotta go shopping, want a coke?".

I'm still grinning.