Hi all
I am new here, I first join this forum a couple of weeks back as a friend has introduced this to me. I begin reading mostly here and felt that I might be a CDer like most of the members here.
I have seen a couple of members seek advice here and I felt that maybe I should do the same as well.
You see, I just recently seen a gender psychiatrist for my issues with Cross-Dressing, I never actually told him everything about myself though. He has so far prescribed me some anti-depressants, now I am told that it would take at least 2 weeks for it to take full effect. After taking the meds, I felt calmer and less depressed. However just a couple of days ago, I started to lose it again, feeling very depressed and unable to cope.
I am feeling like this because I am truly lost and confused, I really do not know what to do anymore.
I feel more feminine than masculine inside, and I always wanted to be a woman since my teenage years. I relish it when people make remarks that associated me with anything feminine. I also cry easily at scenes that seem too intense. I also hated my male self, I dislike my male face and the erections that comes with it every morning, what scares me is I do like man, and have sexual fantasies about some of them. (well the cute ones)
Despite all this I did not actually considered myself to be a TRUE transexual, I have read that a true transexual NEED a sex change and would knew it when they were at the age of 4 and 5.
Not only that, at some point of time I found woman sexually attractive, I also indulge in particularly masculine hobbies like miniature painting.
So here I am being very lost, confused and frustrated. I didn't think that I was in any sense a true transexual, but that feeling of wanting to be a woman is so strong that I cannot shake nor purge it off. And everytime I see a genetic woman it reminds me of how inadequate I am.
What do you girls think I should do? I am really at my wits end and at the verge of collapsing.