NEW? customer

[Debra Russell]

Last week I had a customer of mine come for some new graphics I had designed for her. We have talked on many occasion and she always seemed pleasent and knew what she wanted. I showed her what I had - just like before only updated a little. She said it looked good and would send a worker by to pick it up at the end of the week. Well the worker picked it up but she had forgotten to give him a check for payment and called to say that she would be in later. This is a small town, every body knows everybody and as I was dealing with another long time customer and friend she comes in to pay me. She thanked me for the timely service and said she would need some additional work done later in the month. After she left my friend said (in vary respectful way) I went to school with him ! Really I said. Yep! he's now a she and a good one at that! I was stunned

We talked for a while - none of my friends outside of my one employee Knows of "Debbie" That makes two fully transitioned people I know in this town that are sucessfull business owners. I soooo wanted to talk to her but I think if it were me I wouldn't want to be reminded of the past and am not sure if that is a 'happening conversation.

This woman presented her self in the most accepting way. The trade she is in is a male dominated trade and she was derssed in jeans, sweater and walking shoes. Her hair was styled and diden't appear to be a wig. The only thing that I had noticed from even when I first met her was her voice sounded like a smokers voice or something -a little low and the femm renascence of it was missing.

I would really like to talk to this woman but am not sure if I should or what would be proper.---any suggestions?

[Stephanie Miller]

Depends what you want out of it? To be able to share your other self with her? An "atta girl" or maybe someone that can give you "tips" on transition? I would be very clear what your intentions are first before invading her world. If you tell me it's just to be friends - I would tell you to revisit that idea, because you would have made that effort prior otherwsie - and you haven't.
More than likely she is like the many others that were very active on this board then transitioned and moved on with their lives, never to be seen here again. They don't revisit this board because - as "just CD'ers" and not really women, they want to only interact with their own kind now. If its friendship, go for it. Friendship knows no gender. But if it's something else.. I'd think twice. My

[Jilmac]

I would try the direct approach, but with tact and respect.

[Debra Russell]

Yeah, I think the best bet would be to keep good customer relations, be friendly and see where that leads--thanks , I would so like to know her story!!

[Jorja]

It may scare the heck out of you but some of us transwomen are very sucessful business women. I am an Architect and own a construction company.
Stephanie Miller, many of us do return to the forums for conversation and to try to give our experiences after assimilating into womanhood for a few years. Usually the problem is many of the people we knew are no longer around. Thoes that are new do not want our advice or experience because they think they have all the answers they need. So yes, we eventually move on to other rewarding things.
As far as approching this woman Debbie, if done with respect and at a time when noone else was with in earshot, I am sure she would welcome knowing about you too. Sisterhood runs deep.

[abigailf]

You could always get her to ask you. The next time you know she is coming in, put on earrings or makeup, or have your nails done in a light color and show them off.

The problem with being direct is you would be working off information that someone else told you. What if that information was incorrect and you just asked a FAB (and now X-customer) if she was a male... It could have disastrous results.

[Persephone]

I agree with Stephanie Miller. I think she has posted it very well.

Lots of transitioned folk do not like to be reminded of their past, nor do they like to know that they are a continuing topic of conversation.

While the temptation runs deep to "open up" to her, my bet is that you are more likely to face the possibility of losing a customer than you are of making a friend.