Bumping into people you know while dressed

[Jenna Stunned]

So, I went out dressed for my first time last night with my wife. We went to a chinese restraunt a few towns over from where we live. It wasnt busy only 12 to 15 people at the bar if even that. We were the only ones in the dinning area. Well as luck would have it, near the end of the night a woman was leaving the bar and happened to be a co worker of my wifes. She stopped for a minute to say hi and stood to my left. My wife jumped up to draw her attention and I just stared straight ahead. I didn't dare look at her, I dont think I could have moved if I wanted to. Anyhow after a mintue or two she was on her way. I have no idea if I was read, She didnt say anything. So I have no clue. After we had a good laugh at this intensely awkward moment, Then got the hell outa there.

This has to have happened to others...... Right??
I have never be more scared in my life. More so for my wife than anything. But still, Scared!!!!

So who has this also happened to? And how did you handle it?

[Gerrijerry]

I could be wrong on this but if your wife went out with you. Then I would think she is not having a problem with it. Running into friends or anyone you know the first time is very scary. Has happed to me. You may have been seen but your photo is so great I would thing you were a woman with your wife. When I was seen it was a friend of my wife who saw " a woman driving our car" That was just before my wife said enough of this you can't be dressed as a male then as a woman, one way or the other. So Full time female started about that time.

[Marie-Elise]

my wife said enough of this you can't be dressed as a male then as a woman, one way or the other. So Full time female started about that time.

So you dress female full time now? And you are still married to her? Cool.

[sandra-leigh]

How do I handle it? I dress more

At various times I have gone in obvious women's clothes to nearly everywhere around. It is no longer a surprise to people.

My wife's workplace has a staff of more than 1500. It would be statistically surprising if some of them haven't seen me by now.

My workplace has a staff of about 200. I only know of two of them who have seen me clearly dressed. But it isn't something I hide out of work, and I sit on the boundaries at work. Long hair, women's earrings, clothes that are women's clothes even if it isn't obvious. Colours and patterns that no male around wears (though I have seen at least two men wear pink shirts.) I wish people would just outright say, "Look, we know you cross-dress", so that I could go ahead and and plainly wear skirts and dresses.

[PretzelGirl]

Had this happen twice on Friday. I live towards the north end of the main populated area around here and work 35 miles south in Salt Lake City. So I don't go by the "go out where you aren't from" method because it would be too limiting for me since that would be a good 70 or more miles to travel.

So I went out with my wife for some running around and a Tri-Ess meeting. In the afternoon, we stopped at a grocery store. As I rounded one corner, a director from my where I work came right at me. I almost said "Hi Aurora" and bit my tongue. I always wondered if repetition would kill me there because I greet everyone at work just out of habit. So I doubt I have a problem from that because there was no reason for her to realize it was me and it was a quick pass. Highly unlikely.

After the meeting, we went out for coffee at a Village Inn (same as Denny's, Shoney's, IHOP,...). After a bit, I decided it was time to use the ladies room. When I came out, a friend of ours was talking to my wife at our table. There was a chair in the hall, so I just sat and waited it out. Good timing!

If you are going out, you have to be ready to be busted. I was just lucky X2 that night.

[vikki2020]

Oh, that had to get the heart pumping a bit, I'll bet! I doubt that she noticed, or you would have seen some sort of reaction from her. You don't say if you have ever met her before, but it's done, so that you can't change, or worry about it. I have seen people that I know, on the streets, but no actual contact. If it happens, it happens, at least that's how I feel. I'm almost ready to walk up and say hi, lol!. Almost, not quite yet!!:

[carhill2mn]

If your avatar photo is at all close to how you look, I doubt that your wife's friend would have even thought twice about you. If this should happen again and the other person asks about you, have your wife introduce you as a friend from out of town.

[LitaKelley]

I was shopping in Walmart and literally bumped right into my neighbor whom lives across the street.. I was terrified.. and his wife was with him.. My heart was racing and I didn't know what to do or say, so just said sorry and walked away... Fortunately, neither of them recognized me, however, with spring around the corner and my desire to be 24/7, it's eventually going to be known anyway

[Rogina B]

Few people[and especially not most males] would ever recognize most of us in girl mode.However,the car,truck,wife or companion can certainly "jog"their memory! lol If it bothers you,use "extra"common sense and avoid recognition by association! lol

[sara1985]

Jenna congrats on going out. I'm hoping to do that one day. Your wife's friend was probably wondering why she introduce you to her. Looking at your pic here you don't have anything to worry about. You are a very pretty girl.

[lingerieLiz]

You can travel to the other side of the country and run into someone you know. Twice in different areas on a recent trip I ran into someone over a thousand miles from where we live most of the time. Since I dress where I live it didn't reallly matter, but I've also run into people I know on planes too.

I also have run into a business associate who was with someone other than his wife a long way from where he lived. Goes to show that we aren't the only ones to use distance as a safe way to hide things.

[monalisa]

You could easily pass so I'm sure your wife's co-worker thought you were just a friend. she might have thought your wife was having an affair with a woman.
If you were made you could just say you lost a bet and had to get dressed and go out. That would satisfy them and if it doesn't who really cares.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

One of my last times out dressed before just biting the bullet and coming out I was at a bar across the street from the danceclub I'd been at. My friends had gone and I knew I'd be safe from harassment at the bar I was going to so I stopped in for one last drink, and then next to me sat three girls, and two of them were acquaintances from the club I regularly did comedy at back home. I could see the flash in the eye of one of the girls that she knew she recognized me but couldn't place it. I realized then I had the choice of just telling her who I was or letting her figure it out later and try to put the story together on her own. I decided to just tell her. Ended up being fine, she and her friends were going back to the danceclub I'd just left and since I had the handstamp, I went back with them and the four of us danced for another two hours. One of the best nights I've ever had out dressed.

[eluuzion]

You can travel to the other side of the country and run into someone you know. Twice in different areas on a recent trip I ran into someone over a thousand miles from where we live most of the time. Since I dress where I live it didn't reallly matter, but I've also run into people I know on planes too.

I also have run into a business associate who was with someone other than his wife a long way from where he lived. Goes to show that we aren't the only ones to use distance as a safe way to hide things.

I agree with the distance observations you have noted. We assume the further we travel from home, the less likely the chances are for us to run into somebody we know. That logic is probably sound for those people who do not travel much. Those who frequently travel have probably run into people they know on the road.

I was a regional manager for a few years and responsible for 12 states. Then my responsiblity expanded to the entire country. I spent 5 days of every week living in jets, rental cars and hotel rooms in different states. I can remember several times where I would wake up in the morning and forget what city I was in, lol.

I was always amazed at how often I would run into people I knew in different states than my own. I know it was a function of the nature of my job and the number of people who could potentially recognize me. But it was still weird. I would hate to be a rock star.

The most common place it would happen is in airports. It still happens now, although I do not travel much these days. I"m also one of those people who "never forgets a face", even if I have not interacted directly with the people at any time.

Based upon my experience, most people are not very observant. I have recognized many people that obviously did not recognize me at the time.

Sometimes my "work" has required me to follow a target or enter places in close proximity to them without being recognized. CDing has worked well for me at those times.

I can tell you that the greatest threat to being recognized when you do not want to be identified...is your automobile. People will go to great extremes to cover up their secret meetings and travels. But they typically neglect to apply the same caution to the vehicle they drive. I suppose because it requires resources they can't justify, like renting a car or parking far away and using taxi services, etc. "If you can't follow the money, follow their vehicle" is true in most cases. Just think how often you spot a car that looks like the one a friend drives. You focus on trying to confirm if it is actually your friend driving that car. We all do that.

Anyway, being crossdressed is a great disguise which certainly decreases the chances of being identified as "you" dramatically. (as long as you maintain physical distance). It has a lot to do with the "tunnel vision" we apply when interpreting our surroundings. People are not actively "looking" for people they know who might be crossdressed, lol...

[linda allen]

Few people[and especially not most males] would ever recognize most of us in girl mode.However,the car,truck,wife or companion can certainly "jog"their memory! lol If it bothers you,use "extra"common sense and avoid recognition by association! lol

Exactly. Walking down the street you are just one of many women, but what happens when your friend or co-worker says "Who was that woman I saw driving your truck the other day?"

[Diane Elizabeth]

I had a close call the other week. I was getting ready to pull into a strip mall area to get breewakfast at a McD's when, from the opposite direction my sister turned into the strip mall just ahead of me. I continued on to my other errands instead as a precaution. Averted an outing disaster. Yes I had on make up and was en fem.

[Jenna Stunned]

I could be wrong on this but if your wife went out with you. Then I would think she is not having a problem with it.

Yes she is, But Im sure its not something that she wants out on the table at her work. She works for a large goverment agency, With a fairly large number of employees in her building, One of whom is her mother. I mean if it happens so be it, But I dont want my little hobby to affect my wifes career.

[Jenniferathome]

First of all, you look great! And second, you are so lucky to have a wife who supports you. Now, while YOU know you are dressed up, your wife's friend is not looking for a cross dresser. In all likelihood, she never noticed anything. I hope you had a great time. As for me, I've never had a close encounter but I tend to go out when not in my home town. I hope my wife can share this with me one day.

[Chastitycd]

Well for one, you went out as your true self. For that I envy you.

Second, as many have stated your pic looks great.

Third, I feel most women usually say whats on their mind, so if she didnt say anything at the moment id say your in the clear.

I have a very accepting and supportive wife, but the furthest i have been out as Chastity is our front porch, in the dark, and about broke my neck to get in the house when someone walked down the street about 100 yrds away from our porch. So i applaud you!

[AnnaCalliope]

I ran into a couple of co-workers, both male, while dressed...at a gay bar. They were cuddling on a small couch in the back corner sipping very fruity drinks. It was adorable. The crazy thing was all 3 of us worked for a large chain home improvement store and thus acted very manly and macho while on the job; but here we were, me in a dress, heels and make-up and them practically making out. We chatted for a bit and swore each other to secrecy while on the job.

[aprilgirl]

First of all, congrats on finally getting out Jenna. It was only a matter of time and you looked fabulous. I think your wife handled the situation extremely well by rising up and greeting her co-worker. Based on that action and how you looked, I doubt her friend has given it a second thought, other than possibly wondering at the moment why your wife didn’t introduce the two of you.

I will let you know how I handle that situation when it happens, as I know its a matter of when, not if. My wife and I have discussed the scenario, but until one actually experiences a chance meeting, all bets are off. Like you, my biggest concern would be running into one of her co-workers as all of my business associates are out of state or don’t know her. We don’t feel that her career would be impacted negatively, but I wouldn’t want her to have to deal with any gossip on the job.
Kim

[Lorileah]

Yes she is, But Im sure its not something that she wants out on the table at her work. She works for a large goverment agency, With a fairly large number of employees in her building, One of whom is her mother. I mean if it happens so be it, But I dont want my little hobby to affect my wifes career.

First your wife cannot be penalized or fired for what she does away from the government office as long as it isn't illegal. If the office is that large trust me there are bigger fish to fry there and yo would only be a foot note (having known many governmental offices and employess with drinking problems, and having affairs with co-workers...I don't think you need worry). When my wife was alive she worked for the government and one other lady in her office was married to a CD too...so figure there are many more there

If your avatar photo is at all close to how you look, I doubt that your wife's friend would have even thought twice about you. If this should happen again and the other person asks about you, have your wife introduce you as a friend from out of town.

I would not add a lie to anything here. People are not stupid and even if you don't think you look like you do in drab, trust me they can tell. Besides it would require that the wife remember that lie in the office later and keep up the charade. It was rather rude to not introduce "Jenna" though and many people would take that as a slight and actually be more likely to notice you because they would think it is odd.

Bottom line here. You go out you are going to meet someone you know. You either suck it up and be "out" or you run scared tha sometime somewhere you will be seen and then fret about what that other person will do about it. Be pro-active. Get over the "it will hurt my job" thing. If you are that worried about that, don't go out or just "come out".

People have agendas, you are not part of that agenda usually and if you had been introduced and the co-worker is a normal discrete person, no one will know. By acting like a field mouse cuaght in a trap, you were noticed and today that co-worker has that more in mind than you being dressed.

[Stephanie-L]

To add to some of the subthreads here. I have only run into someone when I was underdressed, not when I was fully en femme. I was wearing a bra and forms (Somewhat noticable) under my male clothes as this is often how I shop for femme clothing when I don't have time to go all the way as Stephanie. I ran into a guy I used to work with daily but is now in another department and see him only occasionally. Fortunately it was winter and I was wearing a heavy coat so I don't think he noticed my bust, but I did act like I was in a hurry and left quickly. As to running into people in locations you would never expect, one time while on vacation with the family, we were on Catalina Island, over 1000 miles from home, and ran into one of my daughter's teachers. Personally I wish I could come out more but my wife doesn't approve, I don't think it would make a big difference in my professional life, but it would definately affect my personal life......Stephanie

[Jenna Stunned]

Thanks everyone for the input, and I have updated my avatar to a picture taken while I was out. It was with my blackberry so It kinda sucks but oh well.

Thank you Lorileah for a realistic view point. Im not worried about her getting fired but more with rumors going around work. I have never meet this co worker as she is someone that my wife is training, And she has only known for a short while. My wife doesnt seem to worried and I told her to just say that I was a friend from a previouse job that you havent seen in a long time if it even comes up. I know not looking her way was a sign of something being off, But its too late to cry over spilled milk now.

And I know that everyone thinks I look goood and passabile from my pics. But trust me it wouldnt take much for me to be read as a crossdresser. Im 6 foot 1 200 lbs and fairly large framed. Standing next to my wife IM MUCH LARGER in everyway. Sure I look good in a few pictures. But my camara kinda sucks and is no substitute for an up close and personal veiwing. Im sure I was read as a guy dressed as a woman, But I doubt I was read as John. Where she does not know me, Even if she had seen a picture of my as a guy I dont think she would have been able to put the pieces together as I do look fairly different in guy mode. I have pics posted in the boy to girl mode thread. On page one and the last page, for reference.

[5150 Girl]

I was out with my SO one day and I hear someone call out my drab name. I turn arrounf and I'm suposed to be getting a band thing going with. All he really said about the matter was "Did ya loose a bet or somthing?"
A chnace encounter at teh gas stion was how I ended up comming out to my best freind. All he said was You're ***'n nuts" and let it go.