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Thread: Advice???

  1. #1
    Junior Member Shawnacdin's Avatar
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    Advice???

    A little back story, I am a 29 non passable crossdresser from the Twin Cities MN. My wife knows I dress and is very supportive, she buys me cloths, lets me dress for the most part (we have a 1 yr old baby boy, she doesn't want She has know about my dressing since almost the beginning of our relationship. I never have went out fully dressed because I don't pass as a women but I do go out dressed in panties all the time. This Friday my wife and I are going to Minneapolis for happy hour, and I would like to wear my knee high boots out on the town. Since it is MN I will have jeans on and you really don't see the boots at all except for the click clack they make when I walk on tile. So how do I ask my wife if I can wear them, do I;

    1. Ask her before we go out early in the week so she can think about it and get back to me?

    2. Do I ask her right before we go out so she has to make a quick decision?

    3. Do I not even ask and let her be surprised when she hears the click clack of my heals?

    Or do you have a better idea of how I should bring this up to her?

    Thanks for the help girls,
    Shawna

  2. #2
    Just A Simple Girl Michelle.M's Avatar
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    Number 1. If you have her support and you want it to stay that way you'd better keep her involved and let her know that her vote counts. And be prepared to accept that she might say no.
    I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.

  3. #3
    Member SusanMarie's Avatar
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    #1...
    plus what Michelle said.
    No closet is big enough!

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    I agree that giving her time to process would be best long term. If she doesn't agree then it is out there that you want to in the future.

  5. #5
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    #1, just for the simple fact that having more time to think about things helps me realize that its no big deal.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Melissa Rose's Avatar
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    #1. One of the foundations of a good relationship is communication. No one likes to be surprised in a bad or unprepared way. You are more likely to get a bad reaction or outcome. However, be prepared for her to say no, say yes then change her mind, say yes and afterward says she did not like it, or for her to ask you why.

  7. #7
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shawnacdin View Post
    ------------- (we have a 1 yr old baby boy, she doesn't want She has know about my dressing since almost the beginning of our relationship.--------------------------
    Shawna
    Sorry, Shawna! I'm dense I guess! Do mean she doesn't want the BABY? Or, doesn't want the baby to know u dress?
    If she doesn't want the baby, there r MANY agencies that will find a good home for it! I've been there, done that!

    I'm divorced! So, I'm NOT qualified to give advice on THAT subject!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I think we have a winner! Of course it's #1! Save the click clack for home! Unless she approves! And if she says yes! Than click clack away!

  9. #9
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I would have to go with the others and say #1!! Your wife is your partner, and deserves to be a part of a lot of decisions. That is especially true when crossdressing is part of your life.

    I took it to mean your wife doesn't want the baby to know you crossdress! My late wife and I did that with both our children. We were married for almost 50 yers before cancer took her, and the children never knew until after she died!! I told them anmd it was no problem at all!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  10. #10
    Junior Member Shawnacdin's Avatar
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    Sorry that wasn't clear my wife doesn't want the baby to know I dress which I can respect.

  11. #11
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    Yeah...I think the vote is in on this one. #1 is unquestionably the best way to go.

  12. #12
    Jeannie Jeannie's Avatar
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    I agree with #1. You must keep her involved and insure that last minute surprises don't happen except when you buy her something for Birthday, Valentines day, Christmas or Anniversary. Women like to process most things before they happen and remember women are emotional and will react that way first, then process. Just to make sure I verified this with my wife. Good Luck.

    Jeannie

  13. #13
    Close to Retirment Nancie64's Avatar
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    Want to feel good and still go out. My SO will allow me to underdress and than get dressed to and from wherever we may be going. I don't ask for more since it is better than let's say you wear the boots and just by chance some one you know or a coworker just happens to be in the same place at the same time. Rather embarassing for maybe you but also for you wife. On the way home you can always take a little walk in a parking lot or someplace else. Have fun.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Just do what the girls always do, put on the boots, walk in the room and say "do this boots look alright with these pants", of course, be prepared to go back in the bedroom and come back out with your shoes on.
    Tina B.

  15. #15
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Absolutely no way you should you consider #3,keep her informed of your intentions so another vote here for #1
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  16. #16
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Why not go completely dressed out? That way the boots will match. But don't do #3 - verrrry bad idea.

    FYI, I don't consider myself a passable cd'er either, but I go just about anywhere I want to go.
    Michelle

  17. #17
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Open and honest is always the right choice.

  18. #18
    Junior Member Diana Rae's Avatar
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    No doubt about it. #1

  19. #19
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    #1. Honesty is the best policy.

    #2. People don't like being put on the spot.

    #3. That is almost guaranteed to create resentment if not cause an immediate altercation with your DSW.

  20. #20
    Junior Member Shawnacdin's Avatar
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    Well I wanted to thank everyone for your advice, I asked my wife tonight if I could wear my boots and she said YES!!!!!!! Again thank you everyone!!
    Shawna

  21. #21
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    See you get to wear your boots and prevent a fight with the wife. All ends well in this story.
    Michelle

  22. #22
    Jeannie Jeannie's Avatar
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    Now that's a happy ending. Good luck and I hope you have an awesome time.

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