pleas help girls

[Deanna B]

hi my wife told me to wear man clothes more often . i do not wont to i wear female
trousers and a blouse and jumper which is female but looks a bit male . i just love
my clothes . i wear male clothes to work and when i get home i can not wait to get them off. please help me. take care

[James Kaon]

Im sorry Deanna, I dont know your situation... Im assuming she knows you are CDer? If she is and is asking for you to be more male in your attire, is it in private or just when you are out together?

J

[kimdl93]

Any room for compromise?

[the_me]

Any room for compromise?

Best I could do is agree with this. Seems a compromise might be in order, presuming you are concerned about keeping your wife happy.

[Deanna B]

hi thank you girls yes it is acompromise . we agreed to 4 night male and 3 night female but 4months down the road i hate being in male clothes i do do 2 or 3 night and i hate that
it is only in the house i have not bin out side . i do wont to some day . i do not want to upset the wife because she is my life

[Kelly DeWinter]

hi thank you girls yes it is acompromise . we agreed to 4 night male and 3 night female but 4months down the road i hate being in male clothes i do do 2 or 3 night and i hate that
it is only in the house i have not bin out side . i do wont to some day . i do not want to upset the wife because she is my life

Ok so whats the issue ? It;s not like male cloths make you break out in a rash. If your wife is your life, amd you don't want to upset her, why not keep the compromise and dress as she wants ?

This is one of those situations that crop up so many times. someone gets selfish and thinks only of themselves and not their spouse.

Put yourself in her shoes, How would YOU feel if your spouse came home every night sporting a mans haircut, a mustache, hairy armpits, baggy pants, a sock strategicly placed in her pants and a grease stained shirt, white socks and dirty shoes, smelling of old spice ? How would you REALLY feel ?

Some spouses need thire men at times, and it sounds as if your spouse has offered you a generous compromise.

Kelly

[kimdl93]

I agree with Kelly. It won't kill you to maintain the current arrangement. Dessing male 4 nights and female 3 nights seems an entirely reasonable compromise, which I know many Cders would welcome. Don't upset your wife. Enjoy the 3 nights a week and look forward to them the other 4.

[DebsUK]

Basically, what Kelly said is right. If you have an agreement of 3/7 en femme, it's almost half the week and that's the compromise so go with it for the time being. Let her get used to that aother few months and then chat about more nights, maybe 3 one week, 4 the next or something like that, or on special occasions maybe.

It is a big thing to take on board, your husband wanting to look like a woman, so it can take time for a wife to get used to the idea

[Tina B.]

If you are not transitioning, then it's always going to be a part time thing, keeping that in mind, I would never want to upset wife so much she said she didn't want it around at all. I think I would take the three nights, and hope in time she will get comfortable enough for you to expand the nights dressed to 4, and three in drab.It's just like at work, you got to go along, to get along. Many of the girls here would love to have your problem, the can't ever dress at home.
Tina B.

[Joanne f]

As far as male clothes time you have to discount your time at work because your wife is not seeing you then , if your wife is unhappy with the amount of time that you are spending in female clothes and your wife is important to you then you need to cut back a bit to show her that she is more important , most will know that it is all to easy to get into the " the more i dress the more i want to " routine and lose track of other things in are lives, you have just been asked to cut back a bit and not stop altogether which it may get to that if you push to much at the moment .
The main thing is to keep talking to each other about it (but not all the time ) as to much talking about it can almost be as bad as doing it to much and i am sure that you will both find some sort of balance that will suit you both .
Sometimes you have to step back a bit to move forward .

[Thea Pauline]

As one of those who would love to have your problem, I would advise being very happy with what you have. Don't let the pink fog cloud your mind. It sounds to me like pushing this issue could backfire.

Best wishes,

Renae

[LitaKelley]

What all the others suggest is very good.. a compromise is a must.. A marriage is about partnership.. The two of you are a team, and in order for both of you to be happy, there must be a compromise so that both of you have what you need/want and it sounds very fair. This is exactly how it was with my own wife and I in the beginning.. She was not 100% accepting like she is now.. It took TIME and I had to EARN her trust and allow her to adjust, incrementally. It also took alot of communication, much of it actually LISTENING to HER concerns and addressing each of them with honesty and then sharing my own feelings.

[docrobbysherry]

After all, your wife lets u dress. Some DON'T! U 2 have an arrangement. But, it doesn't WORK for u anymore! So, u just need to RENEGOTIATE your arrangement!

I'll bet there's SOMETHING that she wants, that u DON'T! Beside u NOT dressing, I mean!
Give her THAT! And, U get to dress more evenings! New arrangement!
Problem solved!

Until u want to dress en fem EVERY EVENING!

[Rianna Humble]

hi thank you girls yes it is acompromise . we agreed to 4 night male and 3 night female but 4months down the road i hate being in male clothes i do do 2 or 3 night and i hate that

So, in reality, your wife is only asking you to stick to the agreement that you made.

Barely 4 months ago, you agreed to do 4 nights a week as the man she thought she married - now 2 or 3 is too much for you! You may be caught upin "the pink fog", but if you are, you need to let your wife show you the way out of it.

It looks like this is an issue of trust. If she cannot trust you to keep to a compromise for even 4 months, what can she trust you with?

Go back to your agreement and show your wife that you love her enough to stick to it for more than a few weeks. Only then will you have earned the right to discuss with her what she would feel about altering the agreement.

[ReineD]

we agreed to 4 night male and 3 night female but 4months down the road i hate being in male clothes i do do 2 or 3 night and i hate that

Are you transsexual?

[Jessica86]

You have a wife who understands you. That is worth giving up a few nights of en femme. There are plenty of members who would love to be in your shoes. Relationships are give and take, never take and give. Just remember your wife married a man. She wants that man. She needs that man. Sometimes, she might like your woman side, but she fell in love with the male side of you. Sounds like a simple fix. Just give a little, even if its one day a week, something is better than nothing.

[Xandria]

i applaud everyone here.. i know i couldnt have said it better myself.

[Deanna B]

hi all thank you all for your time and patience . yes you all are right i got drugged up on wearing my clothes got of the beaten track or stuck in pink fog but i read all your threads and calmed down with my feet on the ground and my wife in mind . you all were great thank you . take care love deanna

[t-girlxsophie]

the only issue my wife and I have ever had was the same she liked to see her man more often,I agreed because she is right to want to see her man as well as her girl,compromise is the key