Shoes noticed (and I don't care)

[sandra-leigh]

Two days ago, I was helping a GG co-worker, and met another GG coworker for the first time. I was sitting in what space there was, and the second woman needed to walk past me. As she did, she glanced down at my shoes and exclaimed "I have those shoes! And they are so comfortable!". The shoes are simple flats with a small bit of an open weave... simple flats that I bought from Payless in the womans' section. Womens' shoes but not blatant ones.

My reply was, "Yes, but unfortunately you can't get them anymore!" She echoed that back questioningly, obviously not expecting they would no longer be available. I then continued with, "Yes, I did some checking, and I can't even find the company that made them." She made a vague noise of commiseration.

I don't know the degree to which she thought about the fact that I was wearing womens' shoes: they are very comfortable so she might just have thought about me buying them for that reason and not thinking about their gender.

I have had my shoes noticed before, but this is the first time I can think of that my shoes were noticed by a co-worker (*)

And "Who cares? So what?" (The sun will rise and the moon will set...)

I rather think my dangling black pearl earrings are more of a "tell" than the shoes


(*) Well, my boss did happen to notice some high-heeled ankle boots one time and in a puzzled voice remarked "High heels??", but the heels on those were wide enough that the boots were pretty much unisex (vaguely "Western" style.)

[t-girlxsophie]

Sounds like a nice conversation.The first time I revealed to anyone in my work (they all know now) the person told me they had noticed traces of red nail varnish,but didn't want to say,never stop talking fashion now with them

[Rachel Morley]

The nearest I have come to this wasn't shoes, it was a hoodie. I was wearing a plain black one but it was a girls one that was a shorter length in the body and had a fairly specific cuff and zipper style. I bought it from the sports section of JC Penney. I saw a GG in another department wearing the same hoodie except her's was navy in color. All she said to me was "I like your sweater" with a big grin on her face. I just smiled and said nothing. Neither of us has ever mentioned it again.

[Rachel Mari]

At work the only thing anyone has said was when he noticed that I had gotten my right ear pierced. And all it was, hey, when you'd get your ear pierced. Nothing since then.

But.....
I had two 10 year girls comment on my ear rings the other day. I was wearing blue sapphire studs in each ear and an opal (birth stone) in the second spot in my left ear. The two in my left I did over twenty years ago, the right was a year ago with my 9 year old daughter.

What they said was "oh, we like your ear rings. They're pretty."

So I said thank you and that I liked them too.

That was a good feeling. It was kind of nice that the mother of one of the girls was right there, just smiled and kept on with the conversation we were having.

[Paulacder]

I always wear ladies shoes when in drab. Knee highs and a pair of ladies loffers with jeans are a part of my everyday attire. No one hardley ever notices............

[AshleyJones]

I ave never had an experience like that but once my girlfriend at the time had me try on her pants for fun and I feigned annoyance and acted as though I didn't want to (I'm still in the closet so she had no idea) all the while my head was screaming "OMG I love these jeans!!" they were true religion skinny jeans. She then preceded to be amazed and surprised at how good they looked on me and it was all I could do to keep from begging if I could keep them (esp since they no longer fit her and she wanted to sell them) and possibly outing myself. I cannot explain how much i wanted those jeans I don't think i have ever worn such comfortable jeans.

[joan658]

I had a similar thing happen some last year. I bought a pair of womens loafers (quite similar to penny loafers). When I got home, my wife liked them, so we went back a week or two later later and bought a pair for her. By then, the style had changed slightly (hers have tassels, mine don't, but otherwise they're the same shoe and same color leather). Then a couple months later a women noticed and remarked "oh, how nice, you have matching shoes" ... she was a stranger and we never saw her again. I wonder if she ever made the connection that I was wearing womens shoes?

[joan658]

I ave never had an experience like that but once my girlfriend at the time had me try on her pants for fun and I feigned annoyance and acted as though I didn't want to (I'm still in the closet so she had no idea) all the while my head was screaming "OMG I love these jeans!!" they were true religion skinny jeans. She then preceded to be amazed and surprised at how good they looked on me and it was all I could do to keep from begging if I could keep them (esp since they no longer fit her and she wanted to sell them) and possibly outing myself. I cannot explain how much i wanted those jeans I don't think i have ever worn such comfortable jeans.

Ashley ... I think you blew a golden opportunity. You could have protested (as you did) but then feigned surprise at how nice they looked and fit and felt so comfy ... afterall, your girlfriend seems to have thought they looked good on you. It sounds like your girlfriend (who's idea it was to have you try the jeans on) would have gone along with it - she might have even let you keep the jeans. That would have been a good way to "ease out" of the closet. Who knows where it might have lead from the there ....

[Sarasometimes]

You mentioned that it was a female co-worker. Men rarely pay attention to those things unless they are screaming out "notice me!" In the great movie Shawshank Redemption is the quote "A man rarely notices another man's shoes." it is true, but a woman will notice them often.

[melissacd]

What I have learned over the past few years when being out in the public (including work) is that most people don't notice or don't care about these things. I think that the world we live in, at least from a gender expression perspective, has evolved quite a bit. We can thank not only those who went before us but the media and the internet as well. People have become so saturated with things that push the boundaries that it takes a great deal more to surprise them or get their attention. I think some of it is tolerance and some of it is due to over stimulation. People are so overwhelmed by all that is out there and only have a little bit of time to process us and then it is on to the next sound bite.

Personally I think that this is wonderful because it allows us to express ourselves without concern. This is something that we could not have done so easily 20 - 30 years ago.

[Cathypb]

Chicas always notice the shoes. I can't tell ya how many times complete strangers in airports, malls, wherever just blurt out "Nice shoes!" or "Cute shoes" or "I like your shoes!" It's great isn't it??

[mywifeswoman]

I ave never had an experience like that but once my girlfriend at the time had me try on her pants for fun and I feigned annoyance and acted as though I didn't want to (I'm still in the closet so she had no idea) all the while my head was screaming "OMG I love these jeans!!" they were true religion skinny jeans. She then preceded to be amazed and surprised at how good they looked on me and it was all I could do to keep from begging if I could keep them (esp since they no longer fit her and she wanted to sell them) and possibly outing myself. I cannot explain how much i wanted those jeans I don't think i have ever worn such comfortable jeans.

I love that story..my wife always finds jeans and such for me now..she gave me a pair that are stretchy and such and are the most comfortable pair I own, and I have worn them out and as of yet, noone has even mentioned that they are womens jeans..

[Jennifer in CO]

I don't own any male shoes. I have had very few occasions where a GG actually said something and my truthful answer is this: "I have a very long and narrow foot. I could spend $100's on a fitted pair from Florshiem or other specialty cobbler, or simply buy a womans shoe for $20-$50. I chose the latter since I can't afford to waste money on just a shoe." I've never had anyone say I didn't do the right thing. I don't (usually) wear a shoe that is overtly feminine but a few of them are to the "girly" side but if you want to wear anything other than a plain loafer or sports shoe its going to have some "style" to it. I do try and avoid anything with much more than an inch heel but that too can sometimes be hard to impossible. My calf boots look "kinda" like a cowboy boot under my jeans but they have a 2 inch heel. My old cowboy boots have a 2 inch heel...bit larger, but similar so I don't worry about it. But, if I wear the same pair of boots under a nice pair of slacks, it starts to look "girly" if you know what I mean so you just pick and choose what your wearing to match the outfit...

Jenn