Why ???? ...

[Nigella]

... Is that some (NOTE THE WORD SOME) members on here insist on dismissing the very people they are trying to emulate.

When a GG posts a contraversial thread which goes against the vein of SOME members own views, then the GG and by virtue of association, the whole GG membership, receives such a pasting that they often wonder why they bother.

I wonder if those who dismiss this section of the membership do so by virtue of the fact that they do not have an accepting relationship and then base their dismissal on the basis of "a womans place is in the home being a good little wifey".

Indeed SOME members views of the idea of femininity is based upon the outdated vision of the 50/60s and not on the modern woman.

[christinac]

Are you refering to a specific thead? Is there a specific phrase or something being used around here that you find particularly offensive?

I always try to be open minded an considerate of all people male and female and all people's point of view whether I agree with that point of view or not. I've seen too many wars (since 1987) mainly provoked by peoples and governments words to ever intentionally try to offend someone. That and my father taught us children that respect is something you have to earn and you will never earn respect by intentally offended people.

If I'm saying something in the threads that you find particularly offensive, please PM me and let me know. I may not agree with you, but I will do my damnest to advoid crossing that line again out of respect for you having the decency and respect to let me know that I'm being offensive to you.

[Nigella]

OK this thread is not aimed at an individual, but more a group.

[Babeba]

Nigella,

I feel this way too, quite often. It's not always a specific thread or anything, just a seemingly pervasive idea that (for example) GGs who do nothing to enhance their femininity aren't trying enough or authentically female enough, or that women in general in this world are trying to be too manly.

I think the thing I saw recently that made me shake my head in disbelief the most was words to the effect that the poster "wore skirts and dresses because not enough women do." Is there a quota?! Will the world implode if not enough skirts are worn all at the same time?!

Fortunately, probably over 90% of the members on this site are either kind and genuinely respectful of their fellow human beings, or rational enough in their thoughts to be able to understand convincing debates. I think the remaining few who repeatedly post ridiculously dismissive or insulting (intentionally or no) posts probably have more problems in their lives than simply the fact they cannot change their minds on those topics.

[juno]

My general opinions is that most MtF members behave more like women, but some people will let their obnoxious male side out at times. Maybe they are still struggling with accepting their female identity. Of course, women can also be mean, but men are typically less in touch with emotions. I find it easy to ignore abrasive posts by thinking "obviously, he has not yet learned to be a woman".

[gretchen2]

I think with such a large membership this kind of thing is just something that you have to expect and accept. Not everyone is going to be on the same page. Some of us just like to live in dreamland, maybe me included. If you want to be with like minded people then you have to do that in real life, not the internet.

[Pythos]

I am not sure which threads to which you are referring. I know there was one that is now closed where there was some contention, but that was to be expected with the subject of the thread. There was a term prevalent in that thread that is applied to one group of people here for doing an act that the other members can do and not get tarred with that term (yes I am trying to run the edges of actually pointing out the thread in question :P ). My main issue was the almost underlying notion that that term is an insult, and the OP did not want that term applied to them.

This is a discussion site, it is a place to get out ideas, and to work away miss assumptions.

Things that annoy me are blanket statements, and statements that sound pretty darned ignorant. I have been known to go right in on those. I also prickle at the idea of treating what we do as a disease, and when I see people actually promoting the idea of hiding it from offspring, it saddens me. Why should that continue?

We as a community have to get away from such actions as blanket statements. Not everyone here wants to be female. Not everyone here wants clothing freedom. It is a melting pot of ideas and styles.

There are times I can get rude, and I apologize for those times. But as was mentioned in another thread, we are all adults here.

Also, I have been said to be trying validate myself and my style in the past couple of thread I have made, but this is not the case. I am presenting questions, and ideas. I have little reason to validate with members here, (the outside world though? Oh yes ). I test notions that get thrown about here. Others here do the same.

I for one love this site, and look forward to checking it out, but there are times I see some of examples of closed mindedness that in most aspects helps no one, and holds every one back.

[Frédérique]

Are you referring to a specific thread?

[SIZE="2"]Just look for the angry smiley in the title, and the belated padlock…[/SIZE]

[Nigella]

Just to set the record straight, no there is not a specific thread, there was one that broke the camels back, but this thread is about an ongoing theme amongst SOME members who cannot, for whatever reason, accept that a GGs point of view is just as valid, if not more so, than psuydo (sp) females. The recurring theme I read, as do others as well, is that a womans place is not in the mens world, and that is transferred onto this forum at times.

This is also not restricted to a particular section of the membership, but does cross the whole TG spectrum.

[christinac]

[SIZE="2"]Just look for the angry smiley in the title, and the belated padlock…[/SIZE]

Frédérique, I'm sure that you didn't mean any offense, but until we find out what this is all about, jokes like that aren't what we need rightnow.

[VioletJourney]

I've found that the anonymity of the internet never fails to reveal who people really are. If someone is an a-hole, then they'll be one on the internet without fail. We should just count ourselves lucky that we have such little hatred or flaming in our little community - I frequent a few other forums, and this is the first one I've been on where every other thread didn't devolve into a $*** storm.

[Babeba]

My general opinions is that most MtF members behave more like women, but some people will let their obnoxious male side out at times. Maybe they are still struggling with accepting their female identity. Of course, women can also be mean, but men are typically less in touch with emotions. I find it easy to ignore abrasive posts by thinking "obviously, he has not yet learned to be a woman".

Juno,
I'm not struggling to accept my 'female identity', and I'm pretty damn sure that in my 24 years of being GG I haven't missed that 'how to be a woman yet' lesson but I can be just as obnoxious as any of the other human beings on here! "being a woman" is about more than simply sitting in a prim and proper, polite little box and (I know you weren't trying to come off this way) but that's another one of the attitudes on here that REALLY gets me. IT DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY FEMININITY IF I'M ACTING LIKE A WHINY, PETULANT LITTLE BITCH. Please DON'T put ANY woman in boxes like that. It does no one favours.

[shesadvl]

I like to think that in all my years as a Woman 61 of them... that I treat everyone how i find them!!., whether they are decidely different or what, why do SOME of those members that get in here act like a pack in a frenzy,..say they are more like women (emulation), & treat us GG's/women as if our Opinions dont count,
I have been a member here for a short while,.. I have seen nothing but support,.. for all sections of this forum from a lot of women GG's ,
including the SO's of CD'ers who have accepting wifes/girlfriends, etc. to try and help all through what ever they go through, and understand... but its the NOT trying to understand that gets us, when its simple in black and white.

AS Nigella says:

When a GG posts a contraversial thread which goes against the vein of SOME members own views, then the GG and by virtue of association, the whole GG membership, receives such a pasting that they often wonder why they bother.

we seem to be banging our heads against a BRCK wall.

as Juno says:

My general opinions is that most MtF members behave more like women, but some people will let their obnoxious male side out at times. Maybe they are still struggling with accepting their female identity.

this i firmly believe that SOME may dress as women or in their emulation of a woman are still very male orientated in their thoughts as well....

Perhaps I would've thought that in males wanting to emulate a woman that they really need to be happy with their femine side or darn well catch up with their own femine side to really understand us women...
But in having said that, I have read in threads here time and again that the male BRAIN is not wired the same as the Female BRAIN so im unsure if they will ever understand



Thats my worth

[vaga505]

LAY IT ON ME SISTER! I will give it a rougeh, if it makes me beautiful or ugly, I decide. :You are all my sisters, I am happy to be here...... to find someone who questions them seleves like such

[Lucy_Bella]

as Juno says:
My general opinions is that most MtF members behave more like women, but some people will let their obnoxious male side out at times. Maybe they are still struggling with accepting their female identity.
this i firmly believe that SOME may dress as women or in their emulation of a woman are still very male orientated in their thoughts as well....

Perhaps I would've thought that in males wanting to emulate a woman that they really need to be happy with their femine side or darn well catch up with their own femine side to really understand us women...
But in having said that, I have read in threads here time and again that the male BRAIN is not wired the same as the Female BRAIN so im unsure if they will ever understand



Thats my :0.2c: worth

This is the part that gets to me..Why I ask why would any one person think that just because we emulate females we should act as them 100 percent of the time? I , for one enjoy being a male and if I could shed this xdressing stuff I would .. It never goes away... I am male most of the time just as hundreds of memeber here are..Why is it such a bad thing to think with the male side ? This track always seems to go one way and one way only .. Mostly because the gate keepers are all like minded thinking ..I can not believe with the large amount of memebership this site has there isn't more male like thinking going on here..

[JulieK1980]

Just to set the record straight, no there is not a specific thread, there was one that broke the camels back, but this thread is about an ongoing theme amongst SOME members who cannot, for whatever reason, accept that a GGs point of view is just as valid, if not more so, than psuydo (sp) females. The recurring theme I read, as do others as well, is that a womans place is not in the mens world, and that is transferred onto this forum at times.

This is also not restricted to a particular section of the membership, but does cross the whole TG spectrum.

This is sadly a prevailing notion in our society as a whole. I've known many people throughout my life that still buy into the notion that women belong pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen so to speak. I've also found these people are the most stubborn of individuals, (I guess they'd have to be to cling to such an absurd notion.) I also think this belief transcends just crossdressers and the like, it perseveres throughout our entire society.

All I can say, is that I hope you take it with a grain of salt, and remember that we don't all think this way, and that every generation that passes; a few less people believe it.

Spelling is: Pseudo.

[shesadvl]

JodyC exactly thats how we as women are viewed yes most often by a select few.

Lucy-Bella:

This is the part that gets to me..Why I ask why would any one person think that just because we emulate females we should act as them 100 percent of the time?

Lucy I understand what you are saying about being happy with your male self, and dressing.. hey nothing wrong in that,... its WHEN we post our opinions, they are disregarded,..I am not dissing males there are a select few that dont try to understand, but hey its good fodder for debate between the sexes... at present.... lol

[Nigella]

Jodie

I understand that not all members think in the vein of this post hence the reason why I stress SOME. I too have noticed that as the generations progress the attitudes of the forefathers deminish, it is just a pity that some are so stuck in their ways that they can't see the wood for the trees.

Thanks for the spelling lesson

[Kaz]

I guess CDing is a broad "thing".. it encompasses a very broad range of motivations/emotions/preferences etc.. Some are straight alpha males who want to wear a dress and se it as their right to do so. At another end of the spectrum we get into real gender dysphoria and issues around transitioning and even GRS. This may be a normal distribution with the majority in the middle.

And I guess the normal distribution also goes for GG responses to this?

I have absolutely 100% respect for GGs who have to put up with our crazy orientations (however we justify them). Some are more "accommodating" and "understanding" than others.. however, when I come across an intolerant voice expressing a dogma that I have a problem with, then I reserve the right to challenge... I will also challenge dogma on the CD side of the fence. I may choose not to, and this is usually because the thread has become "dangerous to post on". Clearly, if you look at the threads in general (and I have not done an in-depth analysis, although this would be good to do)... I would suggest that there is more disagreement across the CD community than the supporting GG community.

[Lucy_Bella]

.I am not dissing males there are a select few that dont try to understand, but hey its good fodder for debate between the sexes... at present.... lol


Shesadvl ...I whole heartly agree ..

[TxKimberly]

Ive seen plenty of posts saying silly things like "Why aren't women more feminine?" or "We are often more feminine than the GG's" or "Wow, you look better than a GG!". That stuff I find silly and mildly irritating, but it keeps coming up as we get newer members.
I have to say though that I don't recall a lot of threads where GG's were attacked or slammed for their posts or comments. There have been a few that I recall in the last few years, but in a forum this size, you have to expect that sooner or later someone is going to post something that irritates the majority of us. But again, as a general rule, I think that the GG's that bother to come to this forum and share their thoughts with us are respected and treated well.

[Rogina B]

I very much "second" what Kimberly just said....Reine,especially,is extremely thoughtful in her posts.I really respect what she has to say as she adds insight from the prospective of an accepting household,which some of us enjoy as well.

[TGMarla]

I concur. I'm real glad the real girls are here. It kinda gives me hope for the world. Anyone who wants to slam on chicks for not being totally down with our decidedly wierd activity really needs to wake up and try to see it from the women's point of view. As crossdressers, we're used to us dressing up. They're not. So a word to the wise (or not so wise), when the women talk here, pay attention. You might learn a thing or two.

[sissystephanie]

If more of our newer members would read the posts of TXKimberly and TGMarla, maybe they would write less of the kind of stuff that they do. Those 2 "ladies" have probably forgotten more about GG's than many of the new members know! Hope I didn't offend anyone by saying that!! I haven't written as many posts as either one of them, but having been a CD for over 60 years I have learned a lot!

[christinac]

I've tried to follow this thread since it began, but please accept my apologies, but what the H-double set this would bleeping thing off in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was it a thread even though it is posted it is not or what?