Extreme Femininity

[Shelly Preston]

I think for the most part everyone tries to look the best they can, which can mean extreme femminity at times
However. As has been said toning it down and blending in is more realistic to how women are in everyday life. The difficulty for most is keeping it toned down, while still projecting there female persona ( be they CD or TS ) as they dont want their male side showing.

Also we are all individuals and for some the few opportunities to express themselves means that they go for the most glamourous look they can.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I used to be one of those girls who did not feel right unless I was in a skirt, hose and heels and now I feel comfy in bare legs ans pants. I think it is a growth thing for many of us and as we grow we tend to see that our views change. I know for me mine have

[Kathi Lake]

The Kardashians aren't real, . . . They are a part of the media ideal: the type of (above average) beauty and allure that men desire and that women are conditioned to want to imitate because of this.

Maybe this is why I don't 'get it.' To me, the Kardashians, and other women that the media say I should go ga-ga over nearly disgust me. It wasn't always that way, though.

In my early dating life, I was I guess what you would describe as a typical red-blooded American male. I went after what I thought the world wanted me to go after - beautiful women. I dated models, and the more gorgeous, shallow, vain, and self-centered the better! Was I handsome or even in their league? Heck no! However, through confidence in myself and discovering the fact that most beautiful women are usually pretty lonely most of the time (as they put it, "Most guys are usually too afraid to ask me out."). After doing this, and getting no more than fleeting satisfaction from these women, I finally found my wife.

Now this is a woman that I normally wouldn't have given a second glance. Mousy hair, dumpy (for my tastes, anyway) body. Bookish and smart, but painfully shy. Most of my friends said, "What are you doing with her?!" We once met an old girlfriend of mine and she pointed to my wife, laughed and said, "You dumped me for that!?" (talk about sparks flying! ). So, why did this woman attract me? Simple. Because she shone! Her beauty, her femininity, her grace, her incredible goodness drew me much more than the external beauty I formerly sought. Now, 25 years later, even though she is not what the world would call beautiful, she is the most incredible, most beautiful, most radiant person I know. There is no way that I could come close to even simulating the natural femininity and beauty that radiates from inside her. I am by no means beautiful, and go to great pains to let everyone know that. When my friends call me beautiful, I know what they mean, because we talk about it. I had a Facebook chat with one of my Ulta friends a few weeks ago. We were talking about a recent makeover experience she had, and I said something like "Well, at least she was probably easier than a 'fake woman' like me." She said, "Kathi, you are not a fake! That's why I like you. You are more real, more beautiful, and more of a woman than many of the women I know. You're true to yourself, you like yourself, and honestly care for others. That is rare." I certainly hope that I - and others here - work on our insides before caring about what is on our outside.

So, maybe that's why I get baffled at times when we concentrate on the outer artifice, and neglect where true beauty comes from. I'll give you a hint - it doesn't come from Saks or silicone or Sephora.



Kathi

[Fab Karen]

But that's my point. The Kardashians aren't real, in that they are not representative of the average.
So any woman who wears make-up, dresses, heels isn't real?
I also said above that the feminine fashion and makeup industry is large. .... and I guarantee you the CDers will have a greater personal share of the bounty than the AVERAGE GG.

There will be some GGs who rival CDers in terms of purchases...
One of the things I was saying.
Just look at all the women at the average mall (not the SAs who are selling the stuff) and you will see what I mean.
where I live some are more average, some are in dresses/skirts, sometimes in high heels as well.

I also want to make it clear that I don't believe there's anything wrong with a CDer presenting as feminine as she does.
You disagree with one of the issues of this whole thread- that's good to hear.
The issue is, if she compares herself to the average, not quite so glam/fashionable/whatever GG and thinks less of her because of it.

I knew a media figure would get jumped on- it was just a well-known example. They're on tv because of a famous last name & a producer agreed it'd make a popular show ( I don't watch it btw ).

AVERAGE, AVERAGE, AVERAGE... why would I want to be THAT? China has made it official policy. Different strokes, Individuality isn't a four-letter-word ( though I know some are shocked by the news that not all GG's are alike ). Personally I don't look down on someone for what they wear ( unless it's beige ( that was humor ) ) and anyone talking of GG's "not passing" is a misogynist. I only compete with myself ( don't have the money to compete with Lady Gaga ( more humor ) ).

[ReineD]

I'm sorry you were offended by my words, Fab Karen. I do think we are talking in very general terms and the issue might well be that the mental image you conjure up when reading my words is not the one I am attempting to convey. It's hard to accurately convey aesthetics without having actual pictures, since everyone defines it differently for themselves.

I wonder if others are taking offense as well, or if it is just you. You do seem to think that I am saying you should be average? Please read my posts again. I am merely suggesting the glam-type CDers (not you specifically) should not believe the ideals they aspire to is an average benchmark for femininity, and to also not put down the average GG for presenting herself the way she does.

[Fractured]

Sue101,
Yes, fashion & beauty sales are large. But other sectors of the retail industry are larger, including food, household, automotive, electronics, and a host of others. My point is, the average woman doesn't spend as much time and money on her appearance, clothing, and accessories as do the CDers who post here ... unless all the threads I've read from members who describe the size of their closets and their love of shopping are pure fantasy?

My SO was very excited that she could wear junior size panties and get a pack of nine bikini briefs for less than eight dollars. She was more concerned about the cost of something so utilitarian and mundane as panties than how sexy or feminine they were. I can't say I blame her - I don't recall the last time I bought new boxers. For me and my SO, we don't ordinarily put much thought into our undergarments. Based on this experience, I would have to agree with you, Reine.

You've explained it brilliantly!! The point I was getting at earlier is the danger of getting so high on that self-injected drug that the CDer becomes less attracted to his average looking wife or girlfriend than he might otherwise, simply because the wife or girlfriend doesn't measure up. How can she excite him to the same degree? And on a separate note, this is precisely what threatens some of the GGs who are in relationships with CDers. She can develop a nagging feeling that if she wasn't around, her husband would be perfectly satisfied without her, since he has himself. She thinks that he doesn't need her if he gets high on himself in a style that he considers to be more feminine than she is. It isn't a stretch for the wife to then believe that if he wasn't a CDer (if he is enamored with this hard to reach beauty ideal), then she might stand higher in his system of priorities ... and this is why she might decide she doesn't want to support the CDing.

My impression from reading the threads is that many CDers think their non-accepting wives are simply against the concept of the CDing, as in a man wearing a dress. They don't realize that it runs much deeper than this: it is rather about the fear that her husband will no longer need her.

This thread attempts to flag one of the things that GGs read frequently in this forum: the idea that because many CDers have an idealized/stereotypical/fetishized view of femininity, they believe the average GG who wears jeans and no makeup doesn't "pass". And this very idea reinforces the GGs' fears that they are not enough for their husbands.

It's thoughts like these that make me glad that I stumbled across this forum. I would never had been able to word the issue so eloquently or with such a straight-forward statement. Part of that problem is that I would never have managed to maneuver my thoughts to actually see the issue in that light, which I can see as being extremely valid. I would hate for my SO to think that she is not enough for me. Yes there are times I wish she would dress up more but then I am sure there are times she would like me to put on more formal attire that jeans and a t-shirt as well. Regardless of who is dressing to what level, though, I will do my utmost to make sure that she knows that she is enough for me and that I love to look at her no matter what she is wearing (or not wearing )

[ReineD]

I will do my utmost to make sure that she knows that she is enough for me and that I love to look at her no matter what she is wearing (or not wearing )

Good on you, Fractured! My SO looked at it the same way you do, and this is why he/she has such a strong supporter in me.

I don't think you'll have issues in your marriage over this at all!

Welcome to the forum!