The Scenario:
You meet a GG at a GLBT nightclub one night when your wife is out of town (you are in femme mode). She is exquisitely dressed, young, and very beautiful, to the point where you wonder if she is a CDer (even though she is 5'4"). Your eyes lock. You then discover she is there with a girlfriend, and you assume she is lesbian. Once inside, they invite you to join them at their table.
Things click rather rapidly, you and this GG befriend on myspace the next day, email addresses are exchanged, and before your wife returns to town, the beautiful GG has invited both you and your wife to dinner, since you have told this GG that you are in a relationship.
You wife comes home and sees a pic of this GG and immediately mistrusts her. But, after some persuasion, your wife agrees to go with you to meet this GG and the friend she was with (it turns out they are not lesbian but were at the club that night just on a lark), at a restaurant in the GG's town, an hour away. The conversation flows between you and the GG while your wife and her friend are pretty much bystanders for the evening. You wife feels there are sparks between you and the GG. You think your wife is being silly.
In the following days, your wife reads this GG's blogs on myspace, and this together with the impressions she got when the four of you went out to dinner, gives your wife the impression this GG is not to be trusted. Your wife lets you know this.
You disagree with your wife, and you feel she is being unduly jealous. At this point it is important to note that you and your wife are also having separate issues, that are causing your wife to feel insecure in your relationship. And last, you feel the jealousy is your wife's problem and not yours, since you feel you have no romantic attraction to this GG. So you continue contact with the GG, through occasional emails mostly, but you don't tell your wife this (unless she purposely asks) because you don't want to upset her. You also arrange to meet this GG for lunch a few times. This doesn't go down very well with your wife. You begin to feel bad because you feel your wife doesn't trust you.
You want to continue seeing this GG. She is European, open minded, and one of the few people you feel you can go out with who is accepting of your femme self (other than your wife, who is 110% supportive, in and out of the bedroom). But, you also don't like to make your wife unhappy, so the emails peter out after awhile. You also stop going to the town where the GG lives.
Two years pass and eventually you don't go on myspace anymore and neither does this GG. You join facebook, you find this GG there, and you send her a friend request (without telling your wife). The GG ignores you for the longest time (is she "punishing" you for having dropped the relationship on myspace?), but out of the blue one day, she accepts the friend request and invites you for lunch.
It takes you two weeks to tell your wife about this. Your code of ethics prevents you from actually meeting the GG without telling your wife given the history, so eventually you do tell her. But in the same breath you say that your wife is welcome to join the two of you for lunch if your wife would be willing to do so in the spirit of becoming this GG's friend, but you do not want your wife to come along if her motive for doing so would be to spy on you and this GG. You also tell your wife you haven't been to the town where this GG lives in the last several years, because you felt odd going there without calling this GG, and you didn't want to upset your wife.
Your wife has an immediate angry reaction. She tells you that she doesn't like this GG, she doesn't want to befriend her, so she will not be joining you and her for lunch. Your wife also says you are free to do as you please, but if you do go, your wife will feel hurt.
The Question:
Do you go ahead and rekindle the relationship with this GG anyway?
Originally Posted by Avana
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