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Thread: Extreme Femininity

  1. #1
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    Extreme Femininity

    Reading various posts it is easy to see many posts about cds love for dressing and emulating women. However reading posts from many of the GGs from this forum it is interesting to see a often different viewpoint. Sometimes I wonder if many of us are not falling into the cult of extreme feminism. I mean how many time do u read about someone not feeling right if they dont wear a skirt or dress or if they are not completely made up.
    On the other hand I have never read a post from a GG stating you know I dont feel at all like a woman unless I wear a micro miniskirt and 7 inch heels. That may seen like a silly point and it probably is.... But Im wondering if sometimes since as a cd we can never be truly female, that at times we go to the far extreme. We want to take a almost characture of what a women is and then impose it on ourselves. The problem is
    then if we try to impose our view of this on the rest of the world and women in general. Then all of a sudden u see, why dont women wear skirts or dresses or take pride in their appearance, or....... Because the focus of crossdressing is on our clothes we transmit that to the focus of being a woman is clothes. I think most would agree that a fairly big leap
    Im sure some will disagree with my comments and that is personally ok.... Even the comment that the focus of crossdressing is on clothes may be silly... however how many naked crossdressers do u see? Well I look forward to the comments, this forum has always given me plenty to ponder on. Gina

  2. #2
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    I think some of us cross dressers fall victim to fallacious ideas regarding the definition of femininity, but I personally enjoy presenting myself in a subtly feminine way as much as I enjoy presenting myself in a more flamboyant, traditionally glamorous, hyper-feminine way

  3. #3
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    I do not know how I should feel at any time, but I am more confortable relaxing in a skirt than jeans.

  4. #4
    Crystal VioletJourney's Avatar
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    I'm a newcomer to this world but isn't that what's called the "pink fog"? From what I understand us CDers will occasionally fall victim to the pink fog but it gradually fades away and we express ourselves more subtly.

    Plus in my opinion, being a woman and femininity are completely different things; for example, Lzzy Hale of the band Halestorm (or perhaps Joan Jett) has a stage presence that's very aggressive and rock n' roll, traditionally masculine traits, but still easily expresses herself as a woman.

  5. #5
    The woman inside me Kathryn Philips's Avatar
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    For me dressing is about seeing myself as woman and distancing myself from as much as possible from my male appearance but without going extreme. I have 2 dressing modes.

    1) Full make-up only, for looking at myself in mirror (wig, foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, red lipstick, feminine looking glasses and pearl earrings).
    2) Fully dressed (the above+ knen -length skirt, bra, tights, 4" heels).

    My opportunities to dress are scarce and have to make most of them, if I cannot look like a woman, I don't bother. I also never underdress, it does nothing for me (I even wear mens briefs under my skirts).
    xxx
    Kathryn


    Waiting for my upgrade to Female

  6. #6
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    Well Violet, most people don't know that Mel Torme was himself a cross dresser, and when he was in his feminine persona, he referred to himself as "The Pink Fog". At least that's MY theory as to what "pink fog" means.
    "None is more cruel and violent than the coward"
    -Italian economist and sociologist Vilfredo Pareto-

  7. #7
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi.

    As by now you all know im not a dresser nore will be,nore T S, & yes i go with what youv said as iv met 100 s of .

    & yes most would out dress me any time most would make me look well what the..... are you . the way in which they dress make up & shoes , tho for me what i do see as youv said the way they act as tho they are woman & for me some way over do it . i cant act being a woman my dress is simple hardly any make up if any most of the time . so my standing with in the dressers would be what am i doing here , (( i dont mean on our forum , places iv been ))

    & yes i do feel out of place this is my comflict being around men im being up front with this . im a lot better than i was .

    My women friends in our groups do dress lovely & have some so so nice clothes i dont even try because i know theyll out class me every time so for me it has to be just simple in design & comfortable ,
    in day to day wear i do have nice clothes & do dress up & do get comments of that suits you & its nice ,

    im not being what im not , yet i do see what your saying now the ? i would put out is how would those get on in my world how would they be seen, accepted yes , just some thinking would be whats the game they are playing at .now some of my fiends do know & have seen pics i took over in Oz e so for them its no bigge ,

    If some were to come with me & meet my friends could they stand the test of,.... are you really a woman ,...... for many voice is a good point to start with, i talk with 100 s of people been in front of ...... okay youv got the point... im out there, thats the difference.
    Now thats not to say some would not be able to do what i cant do , theyed PASS where as i dont. tho im a woman.
    As iv said before yous would out class me in dress & what wev talked about .

    Clothes do not have much bearing on who i am im still a woman no matter how im dressed or not. , so what makes a real woman , being one.
    For me growing to be one.

    The last part is a ...tell all .....thats where the difference is for me as a woman.

    ...noeleena...

  8. #8
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    i feel the most feminine when I tightlace, tuck well and wear attachable forms.
    When U tightlace my walk changes, and when I wear attachable forms I can wear a light support bra so I feel my breasts pulling and moving with my body.
    THerefore,
    When I a wearing them I feel extremely feminine.

  9. #9
    Feelin' Girly KrystalA's Avatar
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    I enjoy wearing feminine clothing. Period. Alsways with satin undies. And I wear skirts of knee-length to micro-mini...and capri pants, slacks, jeans, whatever, with nice blouses. Pretty much anything, mild to a bit wild. It depends on my mood, but almost anything designed to cover the female body makes me feel feminine. I suppose it varies with every one of us as much as everything else varies with each of us. My basic principle as far as CDing goes, is if it feels good, wear it.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Life is what happens while you're making other plans

  10. #10
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I think a lot of cross dressers will spend a couple of hours getting ready just to go to the grocery store! Where a woman just throws something on! After all she's just going to get groceries in her busy day! For this I commend her! Whereas we want to overdue it to look our best in public, to be impressive for different reasons! Extreme! I think so! This only applies to some! Just a thought!

  11. #11
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    It's called crossdressing for a reason, it's all about the clothes, or you are a TS, then it's not about the clothes. I am not a woman, I am a crossdresser, without the clothes, as our English friends would say, I'm just a bloke.
    Tina B

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Everyone has a different reason for doing this. Some must wear the most feminine things to feel like a woman. Myself, I am just as comfortable and "feminine" is a pair of jeans or sweats as I am in a skirt or dress. It's not about the hair or the makeup or the outfit for me, it's about expressing my feminine side. Baggy men's jeans and workboots just don't work for me, but then I'm not always in heels and hose either.
    I just enjoy the better fitting clothing and style choices that help me express the woman inside.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  13. #13
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    Nice thoughts Gina. I am sitting here pondering this and I think the general thought process applies to many things in life. How many times have we seen someone be really into something and then they make a statement to the effect of "how can you not enjoy doing it the way I am, it is wonderful". It is a manifestation of our perceptions. We think something should be a certain way and it clouds our mind to where we can't understand how others don't feel the same because our enjoyment level is so high.

    Separately, I think the effect can be heightened for someone who is new to doing that "thing". Let's look at it from the CD perspective. How many times have we seen someone new to dressing come here and want to go to the extreme. Then you can look at the experienced CD and they may not be so excitable and some of it has an "old hat" feel to it. The learning has happened so a level of the excitement is gone.

  14. #14
    Member Sophie_C's Avatar
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    One thing I would say is to be careful in using the words 'femininity' versus 'feminism' - totally different things. But, other than that, you're right. If you're about emulating women, you should be listening, not telling them on what being a woman is. And, I'm not saying "listening more". You have no place in telling a woman what a woman means. Now, some women may have different places they find themselves more comfortable in (being more feminine or more androgynous) so you can take that into account, but they're still women and know it, nonetheless...

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by msginaadoll
    Reading various posts it is easy to see many posts about cds love for dressing and emulating women. However reading posts from many of the GGs from this forum it is interesting to see a often different viewpoint. Sometimes I wonder if many of us are not falling into the cult of extreme feminism. I mean how many time do u read about someone not feeling right if they dont wear a skirt or dress or if they are not completely made up.
    [SIZE="2"]I think you mean extreme femininity – extreme feminism is a completely different thing…

    I’ve encountered the entire spectrum of viewpoints from all the GG’s I’ve known, or have come in contact with, over the course of many years. I wouldn’t generalize about the GG’s on this forum, since they also represent this same range of opinions and “takes” on any given issue. Years ago I was surprised to meet a couple of women who declared that they didn’t feel right unless they were properly dressed (according to their own standards), and, at least in public, lipstick and makeup was mandatory (for them). I don’t really expect to encounter extremely feminine GG’s here, on this site, since we are, by and large, co-existing in a community made up of alternative mindsets, presentations, and sexualities. I also don’t subscribe to the belief that an implied dearth of visible femininity creates a vacuum that the MtF crossdresser seeks to redress (pun intended), but that doesn’t stop everyone from trying to make this spurious connection. It doesn’t really mean anything – it’s just a pleasurable thing to do (in my case), so I do it. GG’s can wear what they want to wear – here, now (in 2011), it’s a bit ridiculous to expect women to adopt an overtly feminine presentation…
    [/SIZE]


    On the other hand I have never read a post from a GG stating you know I dont feel at all like a woman unless I wear a micro miniskirt and 7 inch heels. That may seen like a silly point and it probably is.... But Im wondering if sometimes since as a cd we can never be truly female, that at times we go to the far extreme. We want to take a almost caricature of what a women is and then impose it on ourselves.
    [SIZE="2"]Caricature is a strong word, because it involves (or implies) exaggeration, the key factor of drag. When does an exaggerated presentation cross the line and cease to be passable crossdressing? I base my “look” on what I’ve seen in real life, or in the media, and there are instances when this inspirational vision pulls me along – there are certain things you can’t wear in public, so you learn to exercise restraint, purely for the sake of pass-ability. To be honest, I have no idea what “truly female” means – I don’t think there is such a thing, in a definitive sense, meaning something that everyone can agree on. Since dressing is a personal choice, fueled by desire and nourished by intensely private achievements, I would be saddened if my transformative metamorphosis is seen as some kind of caricature by others. Feeling like a woman is an abstract concept, but looking like a woman is somewhat attainable, under the right circumstances…
    [/SIZE]

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
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    Extreme femininity! that is a good way to put it. When a woman is dressed to the nines, i'm sure she feels special...she doesn't do that all the time though.

    in the 11 plus years that i have attended support groups, you can almost always tell the difference between the girls

    Many Cd'ers dont get to do it that often either, so their idea of femme is dressing to the nines...taking advantage of the limited time they have to be femme.

    TG's or Cd'ers that get to dress often..like around the house etc...because they are lucky enough to have an SO that supports them, seem to tame down from the Nine's to casual girl next door dressing

    Some girls go into transition, and since they a girl 24 / 7 they don't rely on the clothes to bring them to that frame of mind. i usually find these girls in cotton tops and casual slacks or jeans.

    You may be right about taking it to the extreme, but somehow i think it has a lot to due with how much time we can actually devote to our femme side.

    This is just my humble opinion from the girls i have known over the past 11 years

  17. #17
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    CDs are necessary for women to become feminine again. Feminism is evil. CDs set the standard and become competition for women. Women now have to worry about CDs stealing their men.

  18. #18
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    CDs are necessary for women to become feminine again. Feminism is evil. CDs set the standard and become competition for women.
    Watches for the virtual ass-kicking you're going to get from the SO/partner's in this forum and some of the transfolk as well.

    There are plenty of "feminine" women out there, and these days, they are more likely to wear feminine things because they want to, not because they feel they have to. The choice is up to them. And it's a good thing that women have more choices...and said choices were brought to them thanks to feminism, and feminism is a good thing. You did know that there are transfolk here who identify as feminists, yes? I also wasn't aware that there was any competition at all?

    Women now have to worry about CDs stealing their men.
    Oh please. Considering how few passable CD's there are...that's not likely. Not even taking into account that most CD's aren't attracted to men, and most men aren't attracted to CD's.

    Veronica
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  19. #19
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    Darn right I focus on the clothing. I've mentioned it elsewhere on a number of occasions that I really don't know what "Femininity" really is. All I have are my impressions of it, the discussions I've read (from both sides of the gender spectrum) and the images that flood our world. I do know there is a big, thick wall between me and understanding femininity. It's possible it's a wall built out of my male personality. If I strip as much of that away as I can, maybe I can get through. If I do the best I can to hide behind what may be a caricature of a woman, the big thick wall begins to appear as a veil that maybe I can peer through. I'm probably fooling myself, but I do enjoy the exercise.

    Heaven forbid that I ever get through and actually discover what femininity consists of. That might just spoil the whole endeavor.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
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  20. #20
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    I can only speak for me. I have to use a lot of makeup in order to disguise a masculine visage, but I try to use makeup in a manner so that it doesn't look like a lot of makeup. I only wear full makeup if I'm going to be around other people, don't want to put anyone off their feed. Or if I'm taking photos of myself too. Around home by myself, some lipstick usually suffices.

    I don't dress for sexual thrills, I dress to reflect who I am inside, and I try to dress nicely and appropriately for my age in a manner that a female who is unfortunate enough to be my size might dress. I've never owned a miniskirt or mini-dress, just never went through that phase for some reason. I do have a couple pairs of heels, but I rarely wear them. I love my flats, sandals and kitten heels.

    I do tend to wear skirts or dresses a bit more than many females do, in warmer weather anyway, and I was raised at a time when women wore hosiery if they wanted to dress "properly" and I seem to have taken that rule to heart, as I don't feel completely dressed without sheer hosiery if I'm dressed nicely. If dressed casually, and the weather is warm, then I usually don't wear hosiery. I usually wear knee-highs if I'm wearing pants, mainly because I don't like how shoes feel without hose or socks. So I do dress a little more toward what's being referred to here as extremely feminine, but nowhere near the extreme that many here go to.

    I dress to make me happy, and I hope that females don't find my manner of dressing offensive or demeaning to them, but if they do, I can't help that. I need to be me. Back when I used to go out to T-friendly bars a lot, my main place to go to was a lesbian bar where I became accepted as one of the women, and I was accepted there by all but a small group who didn't like transwomen in general. They tolerated me, but didn't like me.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  21. #21
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Ding ding ding!!!

    There are many people out there (but never in here! ) who think of femininity as an outside-in process. "If I cake on enough layers of femininity - at least as much as I understand it - I will be feminine. Much more so than those 'fake' genetic women who don't even own a dress. Sheesh!"

    To me - at least as much as I understand it - femininity is an inside-out process. People see you for who you are on the inside - not for what you wear, or how you look.



    Kathi

  22. #22
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    Yes....there are certainly "Girly-Girls" out there who do enjoy dressing well, feeling very feminine, and get a huge kick out of it! But, among The Spectrum of Women, they are a tiny fraction. If you ask them privately, they will be glad to tell you about it. Trust me, I'm like Freddi. I've dated enough of them to know!

    But for The vast majority of Women, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE CLOTHES! They do not define femininity, nor themselves, based upon dressing choices.

    And yes, there seems to be a Fetishistic Element for many Trans Folk. (And yes, many TS Gurls like to dress up for a Party too.) Perhaps we tend to "emphasize" The Appearance items because they are The Visible signs of Femininity, and are The Things we can easily effect. Shaving your legs, wearing stockings, putting on a cute dress? All of that is Easy! Learning a million and one gestures, mindsets, social graces, movements, headshakes, etc. etc.. THAT is Hard! To be 100% totally, habituated into The World of Women may be unobtainable for us. Maybe we just try to achieve what we believe is obtainable.

    Peace and Love, Joanie

  23. #23
    Dandizette LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    I like to dress in an ultra feminine style and could really care less about what the majority of GGs do. I do this to express myself not because I want imitate some "average" GG or because I think it represents some kind of "ideal" GG. There is a difference between gender (masculine, feminine) and sex (male, female.) Once you "get" the difference, things start to make a lot more sense.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Cari's Avatar
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    For me when I dress its a special occasion so I generally dress up.
    I own jeans, pants and casual clothes but they come out if the occasion calls for it or after I've had allot of time to dress.
    Some items of clothing do make it easier for me to find my fem side, heels in particular help with the walk ect.
    Also skirts are more comfortable because I dont have to tuck as well.

    You mention creating a character of a woman and Im guilty of that; however it evolved as I found a sense of style and developed my own tastes.
    When I started I thought the more feminine the clothes were the more feminine I would look.
    Imagine my surprise when I found out I look best in a skirt suit :-)

    I think we CD's are often way to hard on women for not watching there appearance.
    I remember researching stocks and a women told me that I was wrong in my assumptions because mascara is a staple item and she wouldnt leave the house without it.

    And BTW you are right I would never invest in a CD friendly nudist colony.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    CDs are necessary for women to become feminine again. Feminism is evil. CDs set the standard and become competition for women. Women now have to worry about CDs stealing their men.
    Are you drunk? Honestly. I don't see the logic in any of the four statements you've made. In what way are CDs going to set the standard for women? Is that any more realistic than expecting the cast of Jersey Shore to do that job? Also, if the man in question thinks feminism is evil, I wouldn't sigh for his loss. I don't think he and I would have very much to talk about.

    It doesn't bother me to see the threads from crossdressers stating the things which make them feel feminine; I've got my own things which make ME feel special, and I truly believe that it's important for everyone to feel entitled to be themselves unfettered. I may not understand some of those things, but it doesn't make them any less valid as ways to get that inner feminine beauty popping through.

    Is it ironic, or perhaps a little telling that one of the times when I feel the most 'feminine' is alone, when I catch a glimpse of myself nude or partially nude in the mirror - in the process of getting in or out of the shower, or getting dressed? At least, that's when I feel the most myself and that is really what I define as happily feminine.

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