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Thread: 4 years dressing now and this is where it's at....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    4 years dressing now and this is where it's at....

    My my my....has this dressing thing evolved to where it's at now.....

    An acceptable lifestyle for me....

    A wife who is OK with it and depending on her mood will go and shop with me and for herself like two "Diva's"...

    A business...

    A marriage where we are free to enjoy our "pleasures" with each other's OK, support and "permission" I guess????....

    She's OK with me going out as Stephanie as I please with others be it male or female and she goes out with ehr male and female friends as well...

    So tomorrow we'll go out together.....pedi and brows for me and a new outfit for each of us from head to toe.....

    So this you can really say has evolved and settled in quiet nicely.....it's fitting like a customed made glove now for both of us.....LOL

    Oh you've just sometimes have you a deep breath and take the "plunge".....and hope it goes well....
    Last edited by Sherry-Stephanie; 03-31-2011 at 09:31 AM.
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  2. #2
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    Dates with different people? Oh my but it's destined to end badly when one of you meets another love connection. Hope you will be ok if your wife falls for another guy and perhaps you are unsuccessful in finding a new relationship. Just saying...

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I must say, your relationship has certainly evolved, but if it fits like a glove, that's fine. Soooo, tell us about the dates.

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    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    "Oh my but it's destined to end badly when one of you meets another love connection. Hope you will be ok if your wife falls for another guy and perhaps you are unsuccessful in finding a new relationship." Just saying...

    Then if that were to happen it says the relationship has finally run it's time.....and that would be after about 22 years....that said she's been out before with guys a well as I...so it's not the first time and we're still going strong....we can only have people in our own relationships as long as they want t be....right????

    We're both accepting and secure ....more so than most...."Perfect" Not....but very accomidating and open to each other needs....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

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    Silver Member Annaliese's Avatar
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    I have to say I am blown out of the water on this one, you do have an open relationship. Good for you hope it continues to work for you and your wife.

  6. #6
    Rust Member trisha59's Avatar
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    I remember when you started all of this and I was seeing red flags all over, but it seems to be working for just fine so congratulations. Glad things are going well.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]Wild Women Never Get The Blues[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    New Member Indie Femme's Avatar
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    That is neat! As long as you are both being honest with each other and yourselves there is no reason you shouldn't be able to have an open and loving relationship with each other, and with other people. Just because one or both of you may fall deeply in love with someone else doesn't mean you can't still be in love with each other, right? Of course part of that may being completely honest in your other relationships too!

    Enjoy your shopping and mani/pedi, I wish my wife was comfortable enough for a shopping spree!

  8. #8
    Silver Member Marissa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie View Post
    "Oh my but it's destined to end badly when one of you meets another love connection. Hope you will be ok if your wife falls for another guy and perhaps you are unsuccessful in finding a new relationship." Just saying...

    Then if that were to happen it says the relationship has finally run it's time.....and that would be after about 22 years....that said she's been out before with guys a well as I...so it's not the first time and we're still going strong....we can only have people in our own relationships as long as they want t be....right????

    We're both accepting and secure ....more so than most...."Perfect" Not....but very accomidating and open to each other needs....
    Its great that you are at a point in life and a marriage that it 'fits like a glove'..more then some will feel at any time in their lives. So happy for you that things have come together to work.

    Hopefully this won't turn into a judgement thread just because you share some openness to your marriage..but with your response, it says you can deal with it as its dished Even if one falls for another deep and something has to end or change..22 yrs and then some, again, is more then what others have had..and even so, I think you will have what others may not if seperate ways occur, you will still have a friend.

    Seeing how strong it has been, it would take alot for it to change..so wish you all the happiness in whatever form you desire Thank you for sharing and its a great milestone.

    p.s. Your date will be very lucky to have you in company for a nice evening.
    Last edited by Marissa; 03-30-2011 at 05:21 PM. Reason: p.s. added
    Marissa



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  9. #9
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    ..."I have to say I am blown out of the water on this one, you do have an open relationship. Good for you hope it continues to work for you and your wife. "....

    We don't own each other and don't try to prevent each other from being their own person either...we do have "special circumstances here as well"...so considering those "defects and limitations" this is the best solution for both....

    ..."I remember when you started all of this and I was seeing red flags all over, but it seems to be working for just fine so congratulations. Glad things are going well. "....

    Oh yeah...red flags all the way down to Florida....a year and a half ago....LOL...to bad it only lasted 10 days....miss the lifestyle down there.....

    Neither one of us is looking to fall in love or anything else....

    Like I've said a lot has happened since I started dressing....but even more has happened over the past 12 or so years....especially health wise...for both of us...

    My wife has been in and out of the hospital a number of times...4 mini strokes...amoung other things....

    I'm dealing with two terminal illnesses and doing testing now for the "Big C"...so life is to short not to enjoy it...plus if I'm no longer around she'll have a headstart at moving on with her life...

    makes perfect sense to me!!!!

    You all aren't aware that we're both bi sexual....her date is with a female....

    Mine is with a guy....

    As well when we first started dating....she introduce me to my first bi sexual experience...and have dabbled in that area ever since....so this is far from introducing something "new" to the relationship....

    In addition, one of the illnesses I have for over 12 years has left me unable to perform as a male....so allowing her the ability to find something "to scratch her itch" from time to time is only easonable....and it works both ways....and has lead to my dressings from my "bi" experiences....so this is all part of a "normal" progression for many many years.....however, the dressing on my part is now intregrated and now something hidden or put away out of site out of mind but a every presence in who were are and what we are....thus the the Topic of this thread.....

    OH BTW My wife and i have no secrets between each other....never ,...have never will...
    Last edited by Sherry-Stephanie; 03-30-2011 at 06:06 PM.
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  10. #10
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Im entirely in favor of doing what works for each other even if it goes against conventions. As your last post demonstrates, people have reasons for the choices they make and the lovers they choose. Time is fleeting - enjoy!

    One note - a disclaimer if you wish -I suppose I'm prejudiced in this subject matter because both my wife and I have bi tendencies and experiences. Personally, I think that's why we are a good match.

  11. #11
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    Thumbs up

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    Gold Member Miranda09's Avatar
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    A remarkable story Sherry. I hope everything continues to work out well for both of you.

  13. #13
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Just one question for u, SS:
    If u both date others, then why bother getting married?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    If u both date others, then why bother getting married?


    If u both date others, then why bother getting married?


    Simple...

    We knew each other for 6 to 7 years....were very good friends to each other....guess we fell in love with each other...in body mind and soul....she here for me and me here for her....and as I started circumstances being I lost my ability to perform as a man due to an illness....though we both still had sexual desires aside from all the other attributes that goes with being in a relationship....

    I also find this a bit amusing and mystified that I wrote this tread with the idea of how crossdressing came into the pciture 4 years ago, and where it is now, but everyone seems to be fixated on us dating outside our relationship which we have done even before we got married....and there seems to be a "OMG" response to this....maybe we jsut realized that was something that wouldn't work for us but everyhting else does....so we put aside any insecurities, jealousies and other pettiness that usually won't work in most marriages and worked on thos qualities that would make our relationship successful....after all we're now going on 16 years married, 17 years dating and 23 years knowing each other....so I'd say off hand there IS something to this relationship....

    So let me ask you this question....if one aspect of our life is missing and no longer there after we married, but all the other qualities are still there, then should we have gotten divorced???...
    Last edited by Sherry-Stephanie; 03-30-2011 at 08:23 PM.
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

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    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    If that is what you want and it works for you that's great. I'm wondering why you felt the need to post it though. Not everyone will have an ideal situation like that. Have fun being yourself my friend.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  16. #16
    GerriJerry Gerrijerry's Avatar
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    each to their own. No one has to agree with the way you are enjoying your life. However I simply don't understand what you are posting about. it is your life style and you state you are happy with it. So what is it that you are really trying to say or ask about?
    TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant

  17. #17
    Junior Member joan658's Avatar
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    Just curious ... is your "business" related in some way to cross dressing, as well?

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    Quote Originally Posted by joan658 View Post
    Just curious ... is your "business" related in some way to cross dressing, as well?
    I was going to ask the same question. Do tell!

  19. #19
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Simply stated here for the purpose of the process of starting to dress 4 years ago and it has evolved to where it is...as far as the dressing goes....which was more or less the topic of the thread...

    Sometimes for some people ir works and sometimes for thers it doesn't...but for us the acceptance is what it is and it works for us...

    So let's change the part about "dating" and say we're both OK with each other going out with other friends and having a nite out without any problems in doing so.

    Again it comes back to the terms I guess of acceptance of letting each other be able o do what they'd like to do. She lets me dress and be free to do so...I posted that...really nothing more or nothing less....works for us...sometimes works for others and sometimes it dosn't...simply because not evevryone can want or is able to do it.

    If we're both OK with my dressing enfemme should I not post that???? as some seem to suggest????...
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member EllieOPKS's Avatar
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    Sherry I respect your life style (for lack of any other description). I think way too much emphasis is placed on sex in a relationship. There is a book called "dawn of sex" that discusses the concept of monogamy vs open relationship that's pretty interesting. I have been in a relationship much longer than you and realized early on that sex is just a minor party of a relationship.
    I think its awesome that you are both comfortable with you being enfemme. Live life to its fullest.
    Ellie

  21. #21
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    The whole point for us both here is this...

    We accpet and love each other for who and what we are and that's all that matters....

    I'm fourtunate that my wife and I can be this way with each other....above all things we are friends first, no longer lovers in the sexual sense but we don't deny each other to enjoy....

    There's a lot of women who won't or can't accept they're husbands's dressing...hat's their issue but my wife is OK with it and probably do to the fact that we acpet each other for what and and who were are before the dressng issue came along....

    Lets look at it this way....say a guy is bi how many wive's accept that???? Or how many men accept their wives being bi??? If they can't get past that point then will then get past one of the dressing???? Probably not....

    We early on accepted each other's certain "traits" but we were able to openly and freely discuss it...so the communication and honesty was there....and we built our relationship on that....

    Before I dressed with any female clothing I went to my wife first with the idea....so it wasn't something brought into the relationship and kept it as a secret...but I knew I could go to her and say "Hey I'd like to dress female....and from that point this is where it's evolved for me and for her...and that's the point I'm trying to make here...it wasn't smooth but we talked went at each other's pace and now afer 4 years she and I are going out and getting our nails done now and then shopping fo outfits later today...
    So got to go girls...

    Later
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie View Post

    Then if that were to happen it says the relationship has finally run it's time.....and that would be after about 22 years....that said she's been out before with guys a well as I...so it's not the first time and we're still going strong....we can only have people in our own relationships as long as they want t be....right????

    I would call that a very strong relationship. If you both trust each other, and communicate, and come back to each other at the end of the day... that's solid.

    As you mentioned... if you can't "scratch the itch" for your wife, how is it love to deny her that, instead of letting go, and letting her have what she needs? You're putting her needs above your own, and she does the same for you... it astounds me that this garners you criticism and doomsaying.

    I believe it's because many people think sex and love are one and the same.

  23. #23
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie View Post
    So let me ask you this question....if one aspect of our life is missing and no longer there after we married, but all the other qualities are still there, then should we have gotten divorced???...
    I can only say definitely NOT!!! Marriage is not based on just one thing, and never should be! My late wife and I were married almost 50 years before cancer took her, and she knew that I was a CD before we married. And we had known each other since we were young children!

    We did not do many of the things you and your wife have done, but that was simply because we were different people, with different likes. Neither of us was Bi, so that never entered into our lives. But you both are, and seem to be happy with it! Therefore, go with it!! It is your life, and hers, that matters! Not those of other people on this forum!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  24. #24
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    ..."Therefore, go with it!! It is your life, and hers, that matters! Not those of other people on this forum!! "....

    Here's the point girls....

    We all dress and some of us embrace it and take it for as far as we can....other's simply hide it and are miserable...

    Those who seem to have the most probelm are those who can't be open and upfront about it....but thoe who seem to be able able to enjoy it the most are those who aren't afraid, intimidated or threatned by being who we are and what we are...in otherwords they're OK at taking the risk....

    Live life to fullest as you can and embrace who and what you are and ENJOY the whole process...and don't give a rat's a$$ on what other people say think or express...
    LEAD YOUR LIFE and anyone that can't get with you tell them to get out of the way or roll them over....and enjoy your life...last chance I saw we only get on shot at this!!!!

    Good Luck...I've said all I care to say about this....I'll let you all go with it from here....LOL
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  25. #25
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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    Why does anyone here post about their intolerant relationship, their good relationship, someone they met, a date, a good shopping experience, sharing what they've bought, etc. etc. - like Sherry, they're just SHARING.
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