Many CDs and their SOs have difficulty in reconciling CDing with the rest of their relationship. But from what I've experienced in my own life and observed here, it seems that CDs who are bi or bicurious make a pretty good match with partners who are similarly inclined.
What do you all think?
that's been my personal experience. though it's also been my experience that there can be a lot of drama associated with experimentation outside of the relationship as a result of that.
Got my vote!!!!....as in a previous thread I have going now...
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
It works well, as long as you both are content sexually in your own relationship. I think a lot of people confuse bisexual with promiscuous. Just because I am bi does not mean that I NEED to be in a relationship with both sexes at once to be sexually content. It just means that I would be equally happy in bed with a man as I would a woman. I think that most people are in serious relationships when they say, "Holy crap! I'm bi!" So, they feel like the must experiment. But, so what? You're bi. You know you're bi. If the relationship that you are in is a good one, why screw it up with experimentation? Sex is sex at the end of the day and sex with the person that you really love is the best sex of all. So, yes, two bisexual people work well ask long as you both REALIZE that you are bi and REALIZE that just because you are bi does not mean that you have to screw up the good relationship that you have.
My SO and I tend to be pretty flexible in the bedroom as far as gender roles, so I guess we have our cake and eat it too.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I would think you may be right Kim. But with that said, it does not mean that either partner has to act on the urges to be sexual with anyone outside of the relationship. They still can be faithful to each other. Of course it could mean setting a few more boundaries then those relationships were neither one is bisexual. My guess is in such a relationship, there might be less cheating since opening up about our own sexuality and attractions leaves little else to hide from each other. I wonder how many such relationships are open on some level to allow each other to explore their sexuality with others. My SO is bisexual and since we have been together she has not once even mentioned wanting to be with another woman. We are 100% faithful to each other. Oddly, she says I am bisexual since I have been sexual with other CD's in my past and still have fantasies about it. However in my way of thinking to be bisexual means you are attracted to the opposite sex. I'm not. I have zero interest in men. My experiences had been with other CD's. I guess it's an attraction to all that's feminine even if it's another CD or otherwise TG. I know she would let me explore with another CD if I wanted to. She even jokes about taking pictures since the idea turns her on. It's mostly a shared fantasy and we do talk and joke about it at times. The point is, we are both open and honest with each other about our needs, desires and likes and dislikes. I guess as long as neither of us does anything behind the others back it's a possibility for either of us with boundaries respected and met.
Shananigans, you were posting at the same time I was. Seems we are both on the same page with this topic. I agree with you 100% Very good post!
Last edited by BRANDYJ; 03-30-2011 at 10:12 PM. Reason: spell check and response to above
Being bi with a non-bi spouse can be a bit of a problem. I know because that is where I am at sexully right now. But, I do believe that being bi has made me a better sex partner. My cding has not entered into any sexual play for me, yet.
It's because we are cool. Internet high-five for agreeing with each other!Originally Posted by BRANDYJ
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Yes we are cool! I have always enjoyed your posts and love your thoughtful well written response to most topics. Even when we did not see eye to eye on an issue, (one of my threads way back)I have always respected and enjoyed your honest response. What can I say...I like you! Not to mention that you are cute sexy and purdy! lol
tell that to my gf lol
*bangs head against wall*
Based on a few dressing friends I have known over the years who are in successful relationships, I'd say the GG does not necessarily have to be bi. One thing that they say helps if the girlfriend is into 'kink' and is just more sexually curious and is also more understanding of others' differences in terms of sexuality.
Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 03-31-2011 at 02:33 PM.
only if they don't go crying back to their gf screaming "I'm straight"
Interesting thought. I'm bi, my SO isn't. She's said she's happy for me to see other men as it's not a threat to her - it's not something she can offer. This gives me an outlet for my CDing too. That said, whilst I have had experiences outside the marriage (with her consent), it's not something I've done that much.
I don't think that I agree with the original premise of the thread. This might be the case for some, but I wouldn't say its true for the majority especially if you look at how people have described their relationships here on this web site. (and this web site probably represents the largest population of CDs that I can think of)
This is probably as erroneous as stating that all CDs are gay or all secretly wish to become women. Generalizations don't help anyone.
I can agree to an extent! As long as your both on the same page, and jealousy stays out of the picture! Just remember what's fair for the goose is likewise fair for the gander!
Although I am not bi, I was married to a bisexual ballet dancer for nine years. Sadly she passed away from cancer in 1986. S, as I will call her, was living with another woman when I first met her in about 1973, I believe it was. I was dancing at that time as well and met her in the studio. I was no the cause of their breakup, as their relationship was already on the rocks, both of them being strong and assertive women, what they used to call 'lipstick lesbians.' The positive of the relationship was that S found my female side to be attractive. On the negative side, S was never very 'faithful' during our nine years together, but I understood that to be her nature. Another aspect of our relationship was that S was 15 years older than I was -- if she had lived, I would today be married to a 71 year old woman! To be honest, the ballet dancer side of S was more of a challenge than the bisexuality. To a true ballet dancer all the world is composed of dancing and everything else, including husbands, lovers, family etc. seems to comes second place.
I think people are people, foibles are foilbes and imperfections are imperfections. Everyone is an individual subject to individual quirks be they Bi, Gay or anything else.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I don't think the OP was saying this was the RULE. Obviously there are a lot of straight couples on this thread that are awesome. I think the key is that your SO should be at least a little open-minded.
All I have to say is ditto to that! And, you are very sweet!
Does she want to be with both sexes, or does she think that You want/need to be with both sexes? Nosey Shannon is nosey.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
It doesn't necessarily work out that way. My ex before I met my wife was bi but she only liked masculine men and feminine women. She didn't like feminine men AT ALL. I was overcompensating on the butch side at the time so I met her requirement. I would never even consider mentioning CDing to her. On the other hand, she was addicted to gay (male) porn and wanted to roleplay that sometimes.My wife is not bi (neither am I) but, like me, is more gender fluid. She doesn't care if I'm a girl as long as I keep my junk.
Now that I think about it, none of it makes any sense. But, that's life.
I haven't really dated or been in a real serious relationship since my wife was killed in an auto accident several years ago. I never seriously crossdressed around her when she was alive, but I'm fairly sure (not positive but fairly sure) that she would have been accepting because she was a very open minded woman and very supportive of the gay, lesbian, and transgendered community.
I had my first same sex/gay relationship for a few months this past summer and my boy friend was very supportive and encouraging of my crossdressing. He wanted me to go out with him en femme, but I wasn't quite ready to take that big of a step yet.
We split up because his job transferred him up north.
Truer words were never spoken...eh, typed.
Since there seems to be a lot of expertise around here about this subject, I have a question? Lately, I have noticed that I often get up in The Morning and don a red sock and a blue sock. Does this mean I am becoming Bi-Soxual?
Should I bring this up in Therapy? ....if I ever start! And, is it possible that I can find a like-minded Bi-Soxual Partner?
We haven't heard from Ms. Hutton in a few weeks, so I thought I would be presumptious enough to "fill-in" during her absense.
Peace and Love, Joanie
lmao that's a serious worry
Some people are bi-sexual, and some people are buy-sexual (if they want sex then they have to buy it). Some people are queer heterosexuals. Some people are kinky homosexuals. Many people are boring sexual zombies lurching toward each other with dead urges. I imagine sexual compatibility is the most important factor in a good sexual relationship. I will have to ask my imaginary lover the next time he/she comes around.
P.S. Exceptions may apply. Don't mind the self-mocking humor if you are a rare true lovebird whose feathers have been ruffled.
P.P.S. It's all good, I suppose.
Last edited by Pink Person; 04-02-2011 at 08:27 AM.
Sad story to read, but you don't call what is so close to your soul and heart "junk." Please. Even if you don't understand it.
My comment is that there is nothing more destructive in the gender-identity arena than categorical labels. A 1960s TV would likely be a 2000s CD, but now many are bi and previously most were thought to be heterosexual. I think it is more useful to get with what you like, and whether you want or need a partner, and what for....be careful letting your guard down as you'd be careful letting your religious beliefs and political attitudes show. They are all likely to be contradictory to some degree, for, are we not all imperfect? A relationship that works is a blessing.
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