I am new here and I wanted to ask about your experiences. I am 29 years old and I just started crossdressing “for real” two months ago. Before that, I managed to suppress it somehow, though I have to say that in the last year I did not do a very good job of that (buy, purge, buy, purge). The thing that kind of scares me is that now that I’m “out”, at least to myself and my girlfriend, I am having some very conflicting emotions.
I feel the urge to dress, but then when I have the opportunity I get nervous and scared to do it. Most of the time it feels great, but sometimes I just get really frustrated. Sometimes I absolutely love the lady in the mirror, but other times I hate her for making my life so weird.
I did not expect it to be this confusing, when I daydreamed about it all those years. Did any of you have these doubts when you first started? What happened to them?