So Effing sick of LABELS!

[MichelleOBrien]

As the title says, I'm friggin sick of labels. Am I a crossdresser, TV, TG, or a TS? Am I homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, trisexual, or asexual? If two men both wear lipstick and kiss each other, does it make the lesbians?

For crying out freaking loud! WHY do we feel the need to label ourselves so concisely? Here's a label for ya... Human!

Unless you're a dog, in which case... woof woof-woof ruff bark.

Seriously. Can we get away from the labels, and all the stigma involved and just LIVE LIFE? Just... live. That's all I wanna do. Who's with me?

[Amanda22]

Good post. When I first accepted myself as a crossdresser, being diagnosed as a "transwoman" by therapists was helpful to me because it meant I wasn't alone; there was a group to which I belonged. Now that this concept is very solid in my self-identity, I find that labels simply get in the way. Labels in general just tend to restrict the members of whatever group we apply them to. Perhaps they help others understand us, but it's my opinion that we tend to overlap boundaries of multiple labels.

[Persephone]

Great post, Michelle!

I'm on-board and have been for quite some time. Labels are for jars of pasta sauce!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[MichelleOBrien]

yes, some labels can help by showing we're not alone. But my problem comes in where everybody needs to be that unique snowflake in the snowstorm and have 50 different labels for something when 25 of those are so similar, they might as well be considered the same. There's a stigma attached to every label. "Transwoman" isn't so bad, but when somebody applies the labels tranny, transgendered, transsexual, etc. society applies a stigma.

There's a saying somewhere that names have power. So do labels. Names and Labels have the power to elevate or reduce your social standing. And even the most hermitized of us on this site are worried to some degree about social standing, because we're seeking recognition by other people. If somebody moved to Maryland with the name of James Stalin, the first thought through 80% of educated people would be "Communist leader of Russia". Now James will be looked at through tainted lenses because of his last name. So would anybody with the last name of Kennedy. Even if they're not related, people apply what they know to people they don't know.

And if a group of people only know "trans" to relate to Rocky Horror Picture Show... there's no way they'll believe we're otherwise normal, productive members of society. I realize I'm waxing philosophical and psychological at 4 AM, but something in here has to make people realize that labels=stigma=treatment from other people based on possible misconceptions.

And sadly, even being a member of a webpage can make those labels come about because people by nature associate things in groups.

[Amelia]

But I have this fabulous label maker and a need for order!

[MichelleOBrien]

But I have this fabulous label maker and a need for order!

Well, you're welcome to come and label/order my computer desk.

[Alisa]

Unfortunately the whole labeling, classification, higher cognitive function thing is what separates us from other species... what makes us human. It's a gift... and we just can't help ourselves... so I guess it can also be a curse.

As the title says, I'm friggin sick of labels. Am I a crossdresser, TV, TG, or a TS? Am I homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, trisexual, or asexual? If two men both wear lipstick and kiss each other, does it make the lesbians?

For crying out freaking loud! WHY do we feel the need to label ourselves so concisely? Here's a label for ya... Human!

Unless you're a dog, in which case... woof woof-woof ruff bark.

Seriously. Can we get away from the labels, and all the stigma involved and just LIVE LIFE? Just... live. That's all I wanna do. Who's with me?

[noeleena]

Hi.

so then how do i get to know you , who you are or what you are . how much info are you prepeared to give out, just put my name on the net & then tell me what you see & can find out about this kid . it comes down to naming of who we are i have no idear if your a girl . female .woman male man or ....

So if i say im a woman will you belive me & i worked in the building trade im 63 been married have 3 grown up adults & 8 grandkids .Iv used only one word to decribe my self . = woman, tho iv not in this post said very much else about my self so how then will you decribe who i am with out those lables ,

so how would you suggest we go about this
at least some lables will give you a better idear wont they ,

i have about 15 at the least to tell you who i am .& about who this woman is ,

By the sound of your post id say your a male, with out looking at any if there is info about who you are,

Heres a difference iv not had any issuses that i would say have been leveled at me as youv said in your 3rd part of your post .

Ill have to use ...some lables . when i was on T V , 2 stations had interviews for papers & the net Nation wide i talked about what it was like for me as a kid growing up & then liveing as a woman , i used Transfemale who is a woman , Intersex , & androgynous woman , now for all intents & purposes most people i work with , know & are friends with , accept im just a woman with a male back ground & there are some who wont to know the nuts & bolts of who i am, so the lables are very much needed. i have no stigma leveled at me & im very well known. any way just my thoughts .

I prefer not to use labels & yet if we dont how do i know any thing about you as i said or me for that matter & as we will never meet how do we over come this ,we use words to explain who what & where , take the labels away ill never know will i .

...noeleena...

[Gaby2]

Great post, Michelle!

I'm on-board and have been for quite some time. Labels are for jars of pasta sauce!
...
Hugs,
Persephone.

Well, I never thought of me as a jar.
Up to now that is.
And I don't like the thought of being called "pasta sauce".
But a pot of jam, you know the one with lots of sugar and not too much fruit... that doesn't sound bad at all!
Gaby - feeling a bit potty!

[sissystephanie]

I am with you, Michelle! We are all humans, and that is the only label we need!!

[Kate Simmons]

It's a case Of: "Sticks and stones..." really. Some folks need labels to function, many of us don't. Simple as that really.

[danielle.cd]

the way i see it is : labels are so that the others that dont understand our ways and things we do or dont do , can wrap there mind around it and go oooohhh so u like this or that and them , when alot of the time they dont really care anyway.

[Joanne f]

The problem is the whole reason why we are here is because of that big label right at the top of the page , CROSS DRESSERS.COM

[Carol Elizabeth]

The only labels that I go by are:

I'm ME!

I would like to get to know YOU!

So I agree with the original post - beyond that, I really don't care for labels either.

CE

[JulieK1980]

The biggest problem with labels is that unless we are applying the label to our self, it's used strictly as a way to prejudge an entire group.

[gretchen2]

I think labels are important as a whole. If we did not have labels we would find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. What if the Klan had no label and they through a party and you went. Wouldn't it be nice if they had a label so you didn't dragged behind a truck in the middle of the night. That is of course an extreme example, but there are many to choose from. We need labels as sad as that may sound it is a reality. Labels define who we are.

[Sara Jessica]

Unfortunately the whole labeling, classification, higher cognitive function thing is what separates us from other species... what makes us human. It's a gift... and we just can't help ourselves... so I guess it can also be a curse.

It's no curse.

Subscription to a gender continuum theory means you are dealing with a nearly infinite points of being. Yet most of those can be captured within a half-dozen or so broader labels. We are not all the same, simple as that.

If someone engages me in a discussion about the TG experience (which happens quite often), the conversation would end abruptly if I simply say "I'm me" or "I'm human". Instead, knowing where I reside in the continuum allows me to convey my experiences appropriately. Therefore, I really have no issue with labels.

[Cynthia Anne]

I say can the labels! Because it's the only way you know what's inside! Nothing worse than opening up a can of beans and eating them then you can't find the dog food and the can of beans are still there!

[Anne Elizabeth]

So Michelle Obrien Please tell me about yourself, who you are?, what you do for a living? your family?, tell us about your hobbies and your likes and dislikes?

My point is that we all complain about labels but, in all these descriptions to explain many of the above questions I ask, will define or come out as a label of some kind. For me when someone tells me that they are a crossdresser I understand where they think or define their self at that point in their live. Same as if some one tells me they are a potter at one of the art shows I attend then, I know what type of medium they work in. Then the conversation may move to thrown, slab, ceramic, raku, pit fired and on and on. The fact is we all classify others in labels it helps us to know where people reside in their life at that particular time. As when I was in high school I was a wood worker, electronics hobbyist, drama production, long distance runner, and many others. Never did I ever classify my self as an artist however today I am a transsexual, wood turning artist, husband, father grandfather, son, son in law, christian. It really helps me know who I define myself as who I really am. Where as, if I just said I was human, all I know is that I am a mammal assumed to by bipedal( for some this won't work on offense intended) and yet that still doesn't really tell if I dwell on land or in the water.
So for me I need labels! I need to know who I am. Also because that helps me understand why I feel the way I feel and I am quite happy to be able to define my self as a male to female transsexual. Sometimes I have felt that If I put a label to why I want to dress as a women and want to be a woman that by not putting a label to it I was actually denying to myself who I really am.

[MichelleOBrien]

I think labels are important as a whole. If we did not have labels we would find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. What if the Klan had no label and they through a party and you went. Wouldn't it be nice if they had a label so you didn't dragged behind a truck in the middle of the night. That is of course an extreme example, but there are many to choose from. We need labels as sad as that may sound it is a reality. Labels define who we are.

Yeah, but think about the Klan's purpose. I grew up in the deep south, so I know for a fact that it was the eradication of(and I use these as extreme exampls and mean no offense by them) n*ggers, f*gs, ch*nks, and jews. All based on labels. So while what you're saying has merit, go a step farther and the Klan wouldn't exist.

[Anne2345]

I am who and what I am. I accept it, and I love it. If I am going to be labeled, I choose to label myself. I hereby label myself the same as my chosen name - I label myself "Anne." For me, that says it all. It encompasses that which I am. Case closed.

That being said, labels are an inescapable fact of life, and bring order to what otherwise may be a chaotic mess of ideas and concepts. Although labels can clearly be used in hurtful, spiteful and negative ways, as Anne Elizabeth so eloquantly stated in her reply, labels can and do have positive value, and if used productively, are necessary.

[MichelleOBrien]

So Michelle Obrien Please tell me about yourself, who you are?, what you go do for a living? your family?, tell us about your hobbies and your likes and dislikes?

My point Is that we all complain about labels but in all these descriptions to explain many of the above questions I ask will define or come out as a label of some kind. For me when someone tells me that thery are a crossdresser I understand where they think or define their self at that point in their live. Same as if some one tells me they are a potter at one of the art show I attend then, I know what type of medium they work in. Then the conversation may move to thrown, slab, ceramic, raku, pit fired and on and on. The fact is we all classify others in labels it helps us to know where people reside in their life at that particular time. As when I was in high school I was a wood worker, electronics hobbyist, drama production, long distance runmnner, and many others. Never did I ever clasify my self as an artist however today I am a transexual, woodturning artist, husband, father grandfather, son, son in law, christian. It really helps me know who I define myself as who I really am. Where as, if I just said I was human, all I know is that I am a mamal assumed to by bipedal( for some this won't work on offence intended) and yet that still doesn't really tell if I dwell on land or in the water.
So for me I need labels! I need to know who I am. Also because that helps me understand why I feel the way I feel and I am quite happy to be able to define my self as a male to female transexual. Sometimes I have felt that If I put a label to why I want to dress as a women and want to be a woman that by not putting a label to it I was actually dening to myself who I really am.

Okay, *this* makes sense and is presented in a way I sadly can't refute... thank you.

[Cristi]

As the title says, I'm friggin sick of labels....Seriously. Can we get away from the labels, and all the stigma involved and just LIVE LIFE? Just... live. That's all I wanna do. Who's with me?

Where do I sign? I guess that makes me a 'follower'. Great, one more label.

So Michelle Obrien Please tell me about yourself, who you are?, what you go do for a living? your family?, tell us about your hobbies and your likes and dislikes?

My point Is that we all complain about labels but in all these descriptions to explain many of the above questions I ask will define or come out as a label of some kind. For me when someone tells me that thery are a crossdresser I understand where they think or define their self at that point in their live. .

Granted, but like all things good in MODERATION. The issue is that there are so many people who see ONLY the label. It becomes not the beginning of a conversation, but the entire definition of who you are. You can nit-pick this down to a cellular level (every noun is a label), but I think the intent of the original post is frustration with the label being used as a definition of who you are, not as a starting point for a conversation.

[Julogden]

No, we can't get away from labels. It's human nature to define and categorize everything and everyone, simply a fact of life. Labels let us communicate with more precision. If it wasn't for labels, how would you have found this site?

Carol

[Lorileah]

OK we are in agreement then no labels. Got that all you Queens out there? No labels. You too all you persons of faith or color. We can't have labels because you would be categorized and then what would happen? You might actually associate with someone similar to you because they have similar ideas and thoughts. Stand up and fight "the man!" oh wait that 's a label.

In essence I agree, that labels can carry a stigma. That being put in a box isn't a good thing. I hate being called certain things that are associated with the TG community. Why because I have ideas of how these labels should be so I am a labeler. But labels do have place. Transwomen are a group that really has many things in common and they should be able to be proud of that label. There are men who only like the clothes, there are men who are in our community as a fetish. Many here won';t want to be associated with that, the one's who take it all more seriously.


Stand on you soap box and tell the world. No more labels...well except if you do that you will labeled as a radical. I like that term for me...maybe you won't. but one characteristic of most "humans" is need for order and explanation. Thus labels.
I think I'll choose my own and therefore I will be in control. I will take a cue from Starbucks. I am a half gender, high profile, angry, disillusioned, confused, non-op, contrary presenting, non-passing, not needing to pass, transgendered person, with a little foam and cinnamon