"I've told her that if I was in her shoes I would never understand someone like me and would never agree to be with a man like me"
**BANG**
I'm sorry, but was that the sound of yet another CDer shooting themselves in the foot, by treating what they do as a disease, or negative thing?
What was your wife's reaction to the balderal?
What the heck is this all about here, did I miss a thread that had anything else about this?
The decision for her to leave IS HER'S not yours. If she loves you she will stick around, and that is her decision.
But for the love of the maker, don't go and do this. This does nothing good.