Being locked in is depressing

[Noortje]

Here I am, all dressed up... Make-up done, wig on. The weather is incredible and I want to go outside so bad... But I live in a busy part of town and there are so many people! I'm too scared. So now I'm locked in here with the curtains closed. Super depressing.

[Danni Renee]

I so know your feeling. I am in the military and live on a military post in Korea. I am not going out fully dressed anytime soon It is somewhat depressing for me to get all dressed up with clothes, makeup, wig, and jewelry and then have nothing to do but sit at the computer because I cannot leave the room. I have begun to venture out a little though, but very discreetly. This weekend I wore light (very light) makeup and girl jeans to the movies. It is not what I wanted - I wanted to go all out - but it is what I could do. I hope you can find a way to express yourself outside soon and until then at least enjoy your feminine side the best you can.

[linda allen]

Here I am, all dressed up... Make-up done, wig on. The weather is incredible and I want to go outside so bad... But I live in a busy part of town and there are so many people! I'm too scared. So now I'm locked in here with the curtains closed. Super depressing.

If you can get to your car, just drive to a different town. Or out of town.

[Theresa_W]

I am in the same boat. I live in a r-e-a-l-l-y small town, and a lot of people in town know me. I just spent the last two days en femme, as both of the kids are gone for 2 weeks. I did manage to sneak outside for a few seconds to take out the trash. but, most of the houses on that side of my house are seasonal camps and such...so, no one was around.

I have gone out in the past. Once, to pick up my wife at her old job. (called her from the car to let her know I was at the other end of the parking lot.) Another time was with my wife and one of my best girl-friends from high school. (Both times were in another city.) I loved the feeling....and miss it sooooooo much. I told my wife at one point this weekend, that we need to plan a weekend away some where and do the whole sha-bang..... shopping, saloon, mani/pedi....Everything! Just not sure it's going to happen anytime soon.

Keep your chin up & remember: "Yesterday is history... Tomorrow's a mystery... And today is a gift. Maybe that's why they call it "The present". "

Terri

[Debra Russell]

I am in all small town too; I never drive my truck while I am derssed -- always the 'vette which my wife drives exclusively except when I "barrow" it -- but everyone knows who's it is ! While I was out one day in the 'vette I went by my business as I was getting out the fire chief, who I know very well pulls up and hollars "nice car,lucky lady" --he knows who it belongs to, I hollered back "you bet" and went inside with out stopping to converse. The point is- small town-diden't put 2&2 together - he wasn't sure who ! -maybe my wife and I never heard another word. People don't always connect the dots -- go out, be confident - careful and enjoy a little........... Debra

[charlytuna]

I hear you . Here I sit all dress and no place to go. Live in apartment complex and a parniord wife, that someone will see me dresssed. All I can do is walk around the apartment and go on the computer and that depression. On the I can go out and get discovered and suffer the way other see you and what they would say. I'm not ready for that and beside at the this time I can not drive, can't see clearly due to eye surgery, so I'm stuck being depressed {like so many other} Looking on the bright side I can sit here and respond to this thread

[Donna June]

Believe me, I know how you feel. Just recently I've started going to a county park where the campsites are in the woods and far apart from each other. I pull into one and walk through the woods a bit, take some pictures, it's fun. I put my sunglasses on when I drive to hide my eye makeup.

[Stephanie47]

I'm fortunate enough to have a secluded backyard to stroll in. When weather permitting I eat my meals outside. I do take drives in the evening on the local roads to avoid accidents or traffic jams on the high speed roads. I would suggest getting a nice feminine raincoat to go over your dress, and, a large umbrella (like the type a doorman would use) and go for a stroll in the rain. An umbrella is a good way to block out your face. Usually there are fewer people out during a rainy evening. And,if you're really fortunate there will be a gentle breeze to go up your dress. And, this routine works well in a winter snowfall-even better with a hat and scarf to conceal most of your facial features. Happy strolling.

[Jilmac]

The best way to address fear is to face it head on. I too, felt locked in until I took the chance and walked out my door completely en femme and in broad daylight. My upstairs neighbor was outside having a smoke. When he saw me he whistled, waved, and told me my choice of clothes didn't matter to him. That gave me the confidence to continue my feminine experience. Now I don't give a hoot who sees me dressed. You can do it in baby steps if going out all at once is difficult for you. Once you gain your confidence, you'll discover a whole new experience.

[Cynthia Anne]

Listen up girl! Its time to get brave and get out of there! It's nice out and I haven't been bitten yet! you won't either! Hugs!

[Kaz]

This is the story of my crossdressing life! A year or two ago I had gained the confidence to go out and found a self-serve apartment place with access out without a reception area... off I went and loved it. I dressed in clothes that fitted with the people on the outside of the building. But they changed it and you now have to go through reception. I haven't been out since. So I sit inside and take photos!

So what do you do? Bite the bullet? Take photos until you are sure of your appearance and have acquired confidence? If it is busy that is good. As long as you wear what they do and blend, no-one will notice... and that is what you want at first. Not to be noticed, and to relax... and if you are, take it in your stride...

[Michaela42]

Good advice, Kaz. I too know the depression of being "all dressed up with no place to go"; although it has been a little better since I have moved out on my own

But I do have a question for everyone: Has anyone tried local support groups? There is one very close to me and I have contacted them. They, of course, invited me warmly . . . but I am still not too sure about it. Any experiences that anyone would like to share?

[VanessaVW]

I completely understand also. I'm originally from a very small town. I got all dolled up one day, then had to take it all off and put everything away. The one thing I forgot to do is take off my nail polish. So, big dummy me, I pick up a meal from the drive thru at Burger King and there were my hands with the pretty sparkly pink nail polish. I'm sure that my whole town knows. This was 15 years ago. Believe me, I wish I could go out in full regalia!

[Lori B]

If you can get to your car, just drive to a different town. Or out of town.

I agree,,,a drive out somewhere,,,anywhere is a rush.........`cept with gas a 4 bucks,,,ouch...lol

[Zoe Preston]

Good advice, Kaz. I too know the depression of being "all dressed up with no place to go"; although it has been a little better since I have moved out on my own

But I do have a question for everyone: Has anyone tried local support groups? There is one very close to me and I have contacted them. They, of course, invited me warmly . . . but I am still not too sure about it. Any experiences that anyone would like to share?

Makaila, A support group is the only time Zoe gets out of the house - so, yes, I recommend them

My wife falls into the shocked/horrified/but-all-things-considered-slightly-tolerant camp She's anxious that no-one must know which means that there's no way that Zoe will be walking out of our front door any day soon

Fortunately, I visited a makeover place a while back (See the sig) who invited me to their monthly get-togethers. It's further away than I'd like but at least I can dress there and it stops me going stir-crazy

Obviously it is a big step for you to walk into a room full of strangers - is it possible for you to speak to someone and find out what the deal is. Perhaps see if they take special care of newbies?

Good luck.

Zoe

[StacyCD]

If nothing else, try attending a support group. That was how I first started going out dressed. Now, I'm much less worried and I enjoy myself a whole lot more!

[Amanda Stubbs]

I love your country and visit at least twice a year. You have one of the most accepting, forward thinking, amiable countries in the world ! The only thing stopping you is YOU ! Get out there make friends and have fun !
Once you break your duck you'll wonder what took you so long ! It's not half as bad as you think for that 1st time and it get easier, all the time, until it feels natural.

[Jeannie]

I am with you Noortje, I live in small town but I dare not go out in public in this part of the country. I know a lot of people and I have been in places in other towns and see people I know. Going to the gay bars in this area is not an answer because some of gays I know also know the same people I do and they cannot keep there mouth shut and it would be news to tell "guess who I saw dressed like a woman. So I am house bound and that's ok. I do plan a Dress and Drive this winter when I can shave all of my hair but it has to be late at night. I do live in area where driving dressed would be alright because there are a lot of country roads to drive on and at night there would not be a lot of people out. Don't give up and remember we are here to talk to and in someway maybe help.

Jeannie

[Fab Karen]

You locked yourself in- you hold the key in your hands. We all have felt scared to go out, but at some point we get sick of being run by fear ( imagining things that are unlikely to happen, as we see when we face the fear ). You might imagine people are staring at you just as you leave your doorstep- but think about how little attention you pay to others coming and going. The same holds true for you. And the SAFEST place you can be is in a crowd of people. More people makes for information overload- we don't notice a majority of what's around us. And most people if they read us don't care. Now it helps a lot to focus on doing something, getting somewhere- shopping, how to get where you're going, getting a drink or something to eat. You're a member of the human race doing normal human things.

P.S. Amanda is right. Though I wonder if anyone outside of England knows what "break your duck" means.

[docrobbysherry]

Hey! I've been gettin' out! And, getting my butt kicked with looks and laffs!

So, do what others suggest! Go out and see what happens!

U may APPRECIATE your safe little closet a bit more afterwords! I CERTAINLY DO!

If I'm out with other girls, GREAT!
But, by myself? STRESSFUL and POINTLESS!

[eluuzion]

It's called Titanium Heat Control Window Film !!
http://www.homedepot.com/Decor-Windo...atalogId=10053

I spend a lot of time in my office at home. I have two slider doors that open onto the 2nd story 10x20 sundeck, which faces South. Since I have carpet on the deck-floor and sailcloth around the perimeter railings (floor to top rails for privacy), it gets hot. Even in the winter it is warm enough to sunbath in the hammock. But my office heats up like a sauna.

I installed the window film on all of the slider doors. The heat problem is resolved, plus I can stand in front of the slider doors without fear...from the outside it looks like tinted mirror glass. Even after dark it is difficult to see in. I ended up doing the slider doors on bottom deck and all windows on south side. It is pretty cool to stand in front of the windows without worry about anybody seeing in. It's like the one-way mirror glass in a FBI interrogation room, only I get to be the one watching, lol.

I had the same titanium factory glass in my BMW before I got divorced and became poor overnight, lol Only drawback is that it will block a cell phone transmission if you stand right next to it.

Life is good...

[TGMarla]

Home is safe, cheap, and no one ever points or laughs at me. My doggies don't mind me looking like a woman, and I have everything I need right at my fingertips. I've never been ridiculed, beat up, harrassed, pulled over for a traffic ticket, stranded, or troubled about a restroom while at home. I go out if I really feel like it, but otherwise, I'm just fine staying home. Sanctum sanctorum!

[NyssaF]

You are SOOOO preaching to the choir here. I am in exactly the same boat. No way to go out anywhere. I live in one of the most conservative areas of the Denver metro area. No way no how.

There is a support area called the Gender Identity Center that is between my home and work. I've stopped there once, and actually had the courage to go in. They have changing rooms. That was a cool experience. I'd try that.

Where in the Netherlands do you live? I stayed in Amsterdam for six weeks, and actually took a red dress with me. Unfortunately, I couldn't ditch my co-workers, so I never ended up having the chance. But I was *so* ready to go walking around in dress. I think I totally would've fit in.