My Wife's Best Friend

[wanagione]

I think you wife shoudl take the lead here too. It sounds as if your time being Nancy is being is reduced because she is staying with you and your wife wants you to be happy. I would think that this would be something she wouldn't want to deal with right now. I can't see what purpose it would serve to tell her now. But I would explore it more with your wife. I would want to know why she thinks it's a good idea now at this point to tell her?

[Jenny Beth]

Your path is very similar to mine in that my wife was a big influence in my dressing and her encouragement eventually led to outings. I haven't been out in years but I dress daily and I can't imagine not being able to. If I were in your shoes and my wife wanted me to come out to a friend I would trust her judgement and hope things turned out in a positive way. I'd hope that my wife explained everything to her friend beforehand and I'd probably want to chat with her too before I presented myself dressed. I can't imagine having someone live under my roof and have to hide my true self and put away all my things worrying that if anything was discovered it would out me.

[heatherdress]

Thank you to everyone. Good ideas and very helpful support.

She had to leave today, but did so in a very positive way. She had seen several pictures of Nancy and expressed compliments and a desire to meet her soon. We plan to go out to movies, take trips and dine out when she returns. These will be new experiences for Nancy and should be fun. It should be easier to go out with three rather than two. I expect she will be be returning soon and frequently and am relieved this has been so positive. She left with a pair of black boots and high heels courtesy of Nancy. My wife is very happy. So is Nancy.
Some lessons learned.
- It is nice to get assurances from others that there is nothing wrong with our CDing.
- It is all about open and honest communications with our spouses, SOs, partners. Building strong relations are work - but so worth it. My wife is great and I am lucky.
- We do need to think about others we care about. We do want them to care about us.
- Secrets are not always secrets. Others may know more about us than we think, even if they do not tell us.
- This forum is a good place to come for help, thoughts and ideas when you need them.

[carhill2mn]

Heather, thank you for the follow-up. I am glad that your wife took the time and effort to "pave the way". It is great that your friend reacted this way and proves your belief that your wife is a good judge of people. BTW, I think that you should keep her (grin).

[Fran Moore]

Congratulations Heather, I'm glad it all worked out as well as it could have! I think you did a great job dealing with the situation, including coming here to get advice, and then following up and letting us know how it all turned out, as well as what you have learned throughout the experience. That gives the rest of us some good feedback for potential situations. Thanks!

Suzanne

[RADER]

Thats great, Your wife knows whats going on and its is OK with her friend knowing about Nancy.
You know, it might be a good thing, as if she moves in with you, there might be the temptation on her part
to approach you in any compromising way. Just a thought, I am probably wrong, but just a thought.
And being Nancy just might smooth things over in a good way.
Rader

[Jill Devine]

All I can say is WOW. You are so lucky to have a wife like that. She is literally one in a million.

[ReineD]

First, I would ask your wife if she has already discussed Nancy with her friend. Second, I would ask why your wife encourages the disclosure.

Last, I'd dress and enjoy myself.


Edit Oops, guilty of posting without reading the rest of the thread. The questions are answered.

[Alice B]

I think if your wife is OK with it and is asking you to do so, then it should be fine. Just have her discuss it with her friend first. I seriously doubt that it will have any negative effect upon the emotional state of the friend and might even give her some levity (not in a negative way) and let her relax and take her mind off her problems.

[Lori B]

I agree,,,you should all have a casual sit down and talk about it first

[t-girlxsophie]

I think rather than making her mistrust men,knowing you were a Cder should make her a little more trusting.Interesting times ahead for sure

Sophie

[Maria in heels]

That's great! now there is no more pressure or question for you, and Nancy can just be herself....

a word of warning :

if I were you, I'd keep her away from your shoes..especially if they are just about the same size...all of a sudden, you will be looking for those patent black slingbacks of yours and you will be searching high and low .... ;-)

[DonniDarkness]

- Secrets are not always secrets. Others may know more about us than we think, even if they do not tell us.

Spot on comment. I have a sister in law who i didnt think knew but over the years i have realized thru small comments that she knows....plus my wife has had to chase her out of my closet for me....as she was inventorying what would fit her

And also there is my cousin..... when i came out to her she said "yeah i always kinda knew"

So all in all, i think that sometimes we get so caught up in our keeping our secret we overlook the obvious

So nancy....question of the day...Do you think your going to get your heels back? lol

-Donni-

[Zoe Preston]

I was going to echo Suzanne's initial comment that you should let your wife broach the subject, but I see that's she now already done that.

All I can add is that I hope you realise that with your wife's acceptance added to her friend's tolerance and understanding it looks like you've just won the crossdressing lottery

I, for one, am deeply envious

Zoe