How do we break people's unrealistic assumption that if a guy wears a dress, or dresses as a women, then he must be gay?
I am NOT gay. I love women, but I also love their clothes. For the most part, they are lighter, softer, and more comfortable then a lot of the heavy, darker "mens clothing" not to mention a better variety other then pants and shirts.
I am not gay, all I want is to wear what I feel comfortable wearing without having to explain myself.
Well Susan I know some transmasculine guys who would probably disagree with you about the guy clothes. The gay thing is only a matter of perspective though. Gay means happy and I'm very happy to be myself regardless of what others may think.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I just ask them that if a woman wears a mans shirt, is she a lesbian?
Just don't bother talking with people like that, if they're ignorant enough to think anything other than being attracted to men means you're gay. Also, though, you shouldn't care so much whether you're gay or not.
I don't care. At least in my corner of this world, there are many gays. All of whom are accepted. The point is, is the automatic assumption I am gay if I wear womens clothes. THAT is what I am posting about.Originally Posted by VioletJourney
People are generally ignorant of the differences between gender identity and sexual identity. After doing this stuff for a long time, my advice is to get used to it and don't let it bother you, it's going to happen.
Carol
My name is Carol.
Be as you are no matter if you're gay or not.
That's my principle.
No one is only one thing forever.
That's what I call deep wisdom.
Last edited by Sandra; 04-24-2011 at 03:22 PM. Reason: merged consecutive post please use either multiquote or edit function
here is the irony; because I am not gay I am married to a woman, a woman who does not allow me to dress as a woman. If I was gay I would not be married and be able to dress...
xxx
Kathryn
Waiting for my upgrade to Female
I personally know hundreds of guys that are gay! only a very few dress as women! Most have no desire to be fem'! So go figure! I'm not bashing gays at all because I have many gay friends! I do NOT LIKE BEING CALLED SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT!
My philosophy is that it doesn't really matter in today's society. Those who know me are pretty sure that I'm not gay because I'm happily married and have children. The opinions of those who don't know me aren't of concern.
who cares what other people say or think.
if i did i would be mad or worried all my life.
Funny thing for me though, I never thought I was either.
But i love dressing and being feminine.
I love how the attached forms and corset make my body feel.
I don't want to get off subject but I feel we or at least i wonder what it would be like if i was a gg.
It has made me think about guys as a woman and treated as a womam.
don't worry hunny it's ok to be straight in this day and age
Believe me, many gay people get mad as hornets about it too. They don't like the assumption that just because they are gay, they are assumed to be overtly feminine...wear dresses...be drag queens...etc.
It's to the point that drag shows have been taken out of gay clubs in some communities.
So, yes, just as desperately as you don't want to be associated with anything gay, many gays don't want to be associated with anything CDing related. Imagine a very large, gay man stomping up and down saying, "I don't wear dresses or talk in a feminine voice, damnit!"
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I think the fear that is there is, in many circles of work, gay is still not as acceptable. Sad but true. If you are a gay male, you are less than a man. But then again to most of the knuckle draggers that think that way, a guy wearing clothing that is associated with women is also less than a man. It is both stupid and drips of ignorance.
There are times I think my life would be easier if I were attracted to men, but I am not.
What I really don't like aside from being assumed to be gay, is having my mental capacity questioned due to those things I choose to wear. That is more ignorant.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
There is no way to 'break' the assumption. It's going to happen regardless. As was said earlier it has to do with the level of education the average person has on the differences between gender identity and sexual identity. Every time someone sees you and pays attention to you in public places they assume things about you. They assume things based on how you walk,talk, dress, act. We all do it to a degree. It doesn't matter if you're a crossdresser or not. If someone you know thinks you are homosexual because you dress then you can just talk with them and tell them it isn't so. I guess what I'm trying to ramble is don't worry about it. After all...they're random strangers.
I am not gay either, and I exclusively wear womens' clothes for fit and feel, and my girl friends have all been ok with that
Clothes don't have anything to do with sexual preference. That's the base message to be conveyed regardless of a person's birth gender or gender expression. I gave up trying to convince closed-minded people a long time ago. There are probably people still believing the world is flat too. I'll save my breath for where it can be the most effective.
Babette
Someone else's imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
The problem is that homosexuality has become acceptable in modern society, but most people are still clueless that there is more to gender than straight or gay. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm gay, because there is nothing wrong with being gay. There is no reason to get upset over it. However, it is upsetting that people remain so ignorant that they can't accept gender diversity, even when you try to explain it to them. The best way to fight prejudice is education, so try to enlighten those that you can.
Juno Michelle Krahn
Normal people are weird. Stealth is another word for "in the closet".
a conumdrum wrapped up in an enigma stuffed inside a Rubik`s Cube
"it all unfolds before your eyes ,let Merlin cast his spell" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Oh! We are all a little gay! Any way, you have got to quit worrieing what other people think!
In the end, the most important thing is figuring out who you are... when you are this way inclined (CD) it opens up lots of questions and issues... my take is to explore them and see what they mean.
I am pretty sure who I am, but this has not always been so, and even now there are grey areas... It gets better as you get older!
A problem with identifying with being feminine is that...?
And if you answered the above, will we always have gender issues...?
CD does not mean you are gay. Gay guys are attracted to men, gay women.. women.. If I was gay, why would I want a guy dressed as a woman? This is not what I would be attracted to!
Now there are people out there who appear to be attracted to TG/CD orientation... I am not sure what this means, but some people on this site have met their soul mates.
We are who we are, and that to me is the bottom line...
Last edited by Kaz; 04-24-2011 at 05:59 PM.
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
yep im gay.... since ive begun transitioning and still wanna be with a woman, but guess what i dont give 2 $hits about stupid peoples dumb stupid ideas... so what life is short, move on.
I am Gay then when people assume it they are always right
WHO CARES !!!! Just because I wear pants doesn't mean I'm straight. Just because a woman wears a dress doesn't mean she isn't a lesbian. When I interact with another person I am not concerned about their gender identity. My response is, "Why would you be interested in that?" Add whatever statement/question you wish at this point,like: are you? it's none of your business! yes, I'm a lesbian; yes I am. WHO CARES!!!!
I guess sometimes it's just a question out of curiosity, sure some are ignorant but others just need to know, depends how open minded they are
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