Saw a CD

[Jeannie]

I was out shopping with my wife when she drew my attention to someone that she was sure was a CD and was trying to get me to go to that part of the store (which just happened to be shoes btw) to check her out. I told her no just let her be because she was trying to be unnoticed and just do some shopping.
Well as we were leaving she walked by and I tell you she was doing an outstanding job because other than my wife and myself I don' think anyone else noticed. The only thing I could see that gave it away was the walk but it was really hard to tell. I just thought I would pass that along. I love seeing CD'ers out and about because if I can't do it then at least someone is out and enjoying themselves. Good Job whoever you are. I have only seen two CD'ers in this area since I have been really looking and the other one was actually in another city that is very close to where I am. Here in lower Alabama it is not something you see very often especially during the day.

Jeannie

[Eryn]

My experience is very similar to yours. I'll occasionally see someone that *might* be a CDer, but in the end I've never been certain. There are many, many GGs out there who display a masculine characteristic or two!

[Olivia2]

I think it is easier for those of us on the forum to believe we recognize CDers in public unless they are fairly obvious. I saw 2 where I work (retail outlet) but it was extremely crowded on that day and I'm certain they were unnoticed by most. I saw another in a large discount store who passed extremely well but had enough physically masculine characteristics to convince me she was not a GG. However, as Eryn pointed out, I've known GG's who could be mistaken for CD's as well, so who's to know for certain.
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[Ericka2]

Yeah, same here, I've seen a few myself and there's been times that I want to encourage them but I guess it can be taken the wrong way so I just keep my mouth shut and do a little pretending...

Love, Ericka.

[deebra]

So if you see someone when your're out and you would like to say HI or connect in someway or let them know you are also a CD, how do you do it. A password or sign has been discussed here before but never got anywhere.

[DonnaT]

How do you know they were CD and not TS?

[Kaz]

If I was out and trying to pass, the last thing I would want is outing by a fellow CD who wanted to demonstrate their ability to recognise me as a CD. The best support we can give is to do nothing... think it through? Signs and all that nonsense start to make this some sort of secret society..?

However, I do think we can help by sharing these sorts of stories as it gives us all confidence.

[AKAMichelle]

If you want to see a bunch of us or find a safe place to go out, then try Denver. We go out here all the time and nobody says a word. In fact I run a meetup group here with 194 members after only 11 months and we are averaging about 15 meetups per month now.

[Lainie]

Definitely do make contact. Just say, "Hi, I like your shoes", or "Isn't this a great store? They have such a nice selection." Be accepting and let it go.

Isn't that what you would want?

[ReineD]

I had a similar experience at a Walmart last week. There was a man and woman shopping together in the female clothing section. He didn't have any makeup on (neither did she), but his hair was shortish, curly, in a pixie cut (could have been a feminine cut), the clothes might have been bought in the women's section (jeans, jean jacket, polo shirt), there was no jewelry, but there was a sparkly, brightly colored scarf tied around his/her neck.

I looked a little closer and saw that the eyebrows were trimmed but there was no arch. When I looked up, he/she noticed that I looked up, and then he/she looked away.

I just wanted to go up to them and shake their hands, tell them about my SO and ask if they lived around here. Or even say, "nice scarf". But I restrained myself. I just sensed that the last thing this person wanted was to be noticed.

[Fab Karen]

WHAT NOT TO DO: Point. Or run up and say,"HEYYY YOU'RE LIKE ME! DON'T WORRY, NO-ONE CAN TELL!!"

If they look calm & you're close by, you can do just like you'd say to a GG: "That's a beautiful dress" or "that eyeshadow works for you" for example, & then move on.

[Jeannie]

How do you know they were CD and not TS?

Good question and of course I am not experienced enough to tell the difference and to me it didn't make any difference. To me the only way to tell is to ask and I really didn't want to ask for reasons previously stated and I didn't want to look completely ignorant (which is very easy for me to do). Is there any other way to tell? She looked very femminie and very confident in what she was doing and I was thinking you go girl. Now the one I saw in the other city close by was very tall, well over 6 feet in flats and had a pretty white summer dress on. Thanks for the question.

WHAT NOT TO DO: Point. Or run up and say,"HEYYY YOU'RE LIKE ME! DON'T WORRY, NO-ONE CAN TELL!!" You forgot to add huh huh huh!!!

If they look calm & you're close by, you can do just like you'd say to a GG: "That's a beautiful dress" or "that eyeshadow works for you" for example, & then move on.

Unfortunantly I know some people who are capable and most probably guilty of doing something like that. I do live in the south after all.

Thanks for the responses and some really good ideas.

[docrobbysherry]

He was obviously a man in a dress working on a register/computer by himself in a print store. Rugged, masculine looking features thru his makeup, inexpensive wig. Wide shoulders, big hands. I was GOING to say, "Nice earrings", when I went to pay for my copies!

THEN, she opened her mouth and said in a most fem voice! "Will that be all?"
Quickly, I regained my composure and said, "Yes, nice earrings". For the first time, she smiled! A warm, fem face suddenly appeared!

Be careful of identifying other "CDs"!

[Karenxd_melb]

Well I have an even funnier perspective. Two years ago I was seeing a counsellor about my condition and she rang a pre op tg who lived locally to see if she would meet me for a cup of coffee. She agreed and said that she would meet me at a certain intersection of a very busy shopping strip. I arrived at the agreed place and was waiting about 15 minutes for her to turn up. I cast a critical eye of every woman who walked up to that intersection wondering if she was 'the one'. I think I spotted 3 who I thought could be her but didnt go up and introduce myself. Eventually this largish woman stopped as if she was waiting for someone. It was then very clear to me that she was in fact a he .....so I walked up and introduced myself (I was dressed as male) and said that I think I was meant to meet her here. She looked me up and down and said something along the lines that she wasnt interested in meeting men as she was happily married 'thank you very much!'...It was only when she was talking that it dawned on me that she was in fact a real woman. I turned to see this woman smiling at the situation....... I smiled back at her at the awkwardness of the situation and then proceded to wait for my arranged coffee date. I was staggered a minute or so later when this lovely woman in a green dress who had smiled at me walked up to and said hi. She was my agreed date for the coffee. I had absolutley no idea and would never have guessed that she was tg. Itis interesting though that I had presumed that 3 other real woman may in fact been tg. Goes to show

[deebra]

Thanks for your opinions and a different view, I see your point. My thoughts were to bond and give the CDer support that their are others like her and glad she's doing what she's doing. Thought it could lead to a little chitchat and maybe a new friendship where we could enjoy the same thing (on this forum many CDers would love to have a friend). If anyone would like to comment further on wheather to approach or say anything I welcome your comments. We can all learn from each other and change our mind. Does anyone favor not letting an opportunity go by when it might turn into a friendship?

[dawnmarrie1961]

I've get approached by CD'ers and TSs all the time. I'm not worried about passing or being in stealth so I don't care who notices, or doesn't notice me. Living is not all about getting "attention".We all want our 15 minutes of fame but be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Being noticed by the wrong people can be hazardous to you health.
I know it sounds grim of me to mention this. But "Please be careful out there."

[Jorja]

I really can't believe you girls didn't set off the cd/ts alarm. I always loved it when people would do that to me. Especially in the electronics area. What a thrill it is when those big 56" TV's flash TRANNY ALERT across them.

For most cd/ts just starting out it is quite nerve wracking just to be out the front door let alone out shopping. If you do notice one of us out and about you might give a liittle knowing smile. If they then choose to respond you should speak.

[junetv]

At one of my places of employment many years ago, I made the mistake of trying to confide with a TG. She just started working with us, and I wanted to let her know I was a sister. She took it the wrong way and I felt horrible. This was before digital cameras were so inexpensive. If it were today, i would've just pulled up my flickr page and showed her June to break the ice. Looking back it's hard to acknowledge another cd/ts out in public unless you are in your pretty mode as well too.

If you are in drab mode, any compliments can come across as flirting and that can make some of us uncomfortable. I usually avoid male eye contact whenever possible.

I have brought up a secret handshake in past...it hasn't caught on.