Bathroom/Restroom Etiquet/State Laws

[nikkijo]

At the SCC in Atlanta:
Use the restroom of the gender u r presenting.

At Disneyland:
(By their staff). Do NOT get caught in a womens restroom!

At the DLV:
Use the restroom of the gender you're presenting. But also, USE COMMON SENSE! Because that mite NOT be a good idea! Depending on where u r and the circumstances!

disney is very open... but the reason for their responce is safety of the other patrons and yourself not because they dont want you as a male who presents as female in a ladys room. think of it this way.... an un passable male entering the ladies room, lots of children..... many different classes of people..... the steriotypical responce in life that something wrong occured.... i would sugest you pass before you attempt that one, and thats what they are saying as well...

[Jean Ann S]

does any one know what the law is in the state of Texas

Jean Ann

[Intertwined]

Maybe I'm the only one here who does, but I always use the men's room and go into a stall with a closeable door. I've never got any grief for doing this in 17 years of being out. I don't want to run the risk of freaking any woman or child out.

Nope, your not the only one. But I am a bit different, I never dress fully feminine. I call it my 50/50, half feminine, half masculine.

Anyway, my belief is (and I can be just as wrong as the next person), restrooms are NOT designed for gender, they are designed for biological sex anatomy, if you have male equipment you use the Mens room, if you have female equipment you use the Ladies room.

I always used the Mens room, I have to admit, though I have never had a problem, I have cleared a mens room when they see me come in wearing a skirt and high heels, to the point, they don't even stop to wash they're hands on the way out (please don't blame me for that)

Of course, the simple solution to this problem is, 1 (one) restroom for everyone, equiped with stalls with doors, even around urinals if so equipped, No more debate then.

[ShelleyMarie55]

Excellent advice Tricia! I don't know if it's legal or illegal, but I emailed the Minneapolis Police and the Sgt told me it's OK to go out in public, but I cannot go into women's dressing rooms, restrooms or locker rooms where other women are. At the DressBarn or TJ MAXX, I nturally went into the women's dressing rooms. At K-Mart, I used the men's dressing room when I was dressed up; not a biggie, as it was next to the women's.
Being that my wife and kids don't know bout me, I would go into a Mall that isn't very busy and change in the men's stall. Primp myself, put my wig on and walk out when no man was in there. If a man was just going in, I just keep walking and if people see me in the Mall, just keep walking. Then just use the hand sanitizer I have instead of wasting time washing my hands.
I try to remember, in all liklihood, they will NEVER see me again, as a man or woman. If I make a comment, they will look at me longer & remember me more.
I do remember that in the 1980's, in the Gay 90's in Minneapolis, I would see the Bouncers escorting CD's out of the women's restroom to the front exit. I don't know if they were just "86'd" or if they had to call the police on them. I used the women's restroom there and nothing happened to me; embarrasingly, that gay bar only had one stall and I was holding up like 5-6 women. Oops. Then on in there, which was rarely, I used the men's restroom dressed up. During the summer, if I need to use the restroom or while driving, as I drink a lot of coffee, I use a Satellite portable bathroom.

Just email the Police department in the major city you are near, as I did. (Emailing, you don't have to talk face to face with a police officer and explain yourself, etc. It's easier explaining in an email. I've only checked Minneapolis, but didn't check with the surrounding suburbs and where I live. At one point in time, 1970's or early 1980's, it was actually illegal to CD in Minneapolis before they changed the ruling.

[joanna4]

On one occasion I used the womens room because I really had to pee when I wasn't dressed and when I proceeded to exit and employee walked in and said the it was the women's restroom I pretended to be very angry about the men's room being crowded. Nevertheless, I would use the one in which the gender i am representing

[LoriSue]

A while back, my wife and I started going to meetings of a TG/TS support group in N Charleston, SC. According to the information they were giving out In the state of South Carolina the law states that you are to use the restroom facilities of the Gender you are representing. I can't say I've seen it in print anywhere, but that is what we were told, and what we do.

[Yolanda_Voils]

does any one know what the law is in the state of Texas

So far it seems that Texas only has "Labor" laws.

A BILL TO BE ENTITLED
AN ACT
relating to the prohibition of employment discrimination on the
basis of sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:
SECTION 1. Section 21.002, Labor Code

Texas H.B. No. 538 SECTION 1. Section 21.002, Labor Code

[CD Tammy]

Funny you mention Walt Disney World. I saw a very tall "woman" being escorted from the women's bathroom. I was pretty sure that she was actually a he.

[Tammygirl]

There has been time when so other Ladies have complained about me being in ladies Room! When the Cops or Security showed and they ask why didn't I use the Mens room? I say if you think you have trouble now! Just think of what would have happened if I went in the Mens room dressed like this! Course this was when I was frist starting out! Now it is secound nature to use the ladie room!
Loke one Ladie said act as if you belong there! And, if you think of it you do!

[Valerie1973]

I'd say look for a family single type restrooms where you and the SO could go in together. As for a ladies room, just be careful.

[Rianna Humble]

Unless you are certain that the local police inspcet what's between your legs before allowing you into the bathroom, I would suggest that you use the bathroom of the gender that you are presenting. If there are non-gender-specific facilities that are not for disabled people then no-one should complain if you use them, but if they are disabled facilities think about how a disabled person would feel being unable to use them because an able-bodied person was in there.

[Karren H]

Unisex/family restroom if its available else its what ever gender matches the way I'm dressed. And so far its not been a problem.

[Cynthia Anne]

About two weeks ago at the Walmart in Lebonon Missouri a kind lady held the door open to the ladies room 'til I got in! I smiled and thanked her!

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am curious, doesn't Walt Disney Land/World have single user or "family" restrooms? I would think they would have the latter given the number of small children there (I have never been to either, would like to someday.)

One thing people often don't mention in the restroom debate is the issue of children. For me at least, it is a game changer and the "use the restroom matching your presentation" goes out the window; I wait until they leave if possible or hold it until I can find a single user. It is a potential lightning rod I don't want to go near.

[Rianna Humble]

One thing people often don't mention in the restroom debate is the issue of children. For me at least, it is a game changer and the "use the restroom matching your presentation" goes out the window

To each their own, but I never stayed out of the men's facility just because there might be children there when I was presenting as a man, and I don't stay out of the women's facilities now that I am a woman even if there might be children present.

[Sarasometimes]

"One thing people often don't mention in the restroom debate is the issue of children."

I agree! To the misinformed we (non-passable CD) are perceived as threats and most will defend thier children from real or perceived threats, very aggressively, right or wrong! I go with Karren, avoidance is best then just use your head, get in, get out, move on.

[jenna_woods]

its all about the way I am dressed, if you are dressed as a female why would you use the men's bathroom, to me that's asking for problems,

[Carvery Carly]

For Midlands, UK Members. Re: Toilets In Kingfisher Shopping Centre.
If anyone in Midlands wants to visit the Kingfisher Shopping Centre in Redditch and needs to use the toilet while dressed, I received an email regarding which ones we can use.

"We have no such policy in policy you are welcome to use the toilets you
feel most comfortable using. I had better inform you though that using the disables toilets would be difficult because they are only accessible with a RADAR key (a key which is applied for by any registered disabled person from the council)

Kind Regards,

Beth"

"-----Original Message-----
I will be visiting the shopping centre soon and was wondering if you had a policy in place regarding TV's/TG using the female toilets. Thought I'd better ask before I went strolling in, just in case. Otherwise I'll use the disabled toilets.

Thanks for helping me know which toilets I will be able to use.
Carly."

Hope this is of some help, if anyone wants to visit.
Carly.

[xcdmargo]

The only time I've had a bad experience using the ladies room has been in Pennsylvannia where it is illegal. They get a little testy about the whole thing. One thing I always do is look for the "family" rest room expecially when I'm traveling. I'm the only one in there and no one bats an eye about it.
it is something that I truly plan for and is on my mind

margo

[CharleneT]

. . .

Iowa
trans people must be allowed to use the restrooms that match their gender identity

I can give some info about Iowa (where I live). The law actually protects TG folks in the use of all public facilities - not just bathrooms. BUT, and it is a big but... the local police where I live (the most progressive town in the state) have told me in very certain terms that they will prosecute anyone whose "biological sex doesn't match the bathroom they are using..." This was from the desk officer, and backed 'up by the Sgt in charge that day. I've gone in and asked twice - same answer. I then asked the woman in charge of HR/Public relations about it and she said she has tried to convince them that the law has changed - but the police do not listen. I then called the Iowa Civil Right's main office in Des Moines. Here is the short version of their explanation for this:

"... even though it is a law now (as of July 2007), it is untested. Due to that, local police simply do not believe it is a "solid" law and are unlikely to follow it. If you have a problem somewhere, we'd love to defend your rights and test this law... no one has challenged it and so it is in limbo."

Now the important part here is in the day to day, what will happen? I've never had trouble using the women facilities anywhere in the state of Iowa, over that last 4 years. Even when I was not "passing" all that well. It seems likely that no one in any of those places (many) knew about the new law either.

Your best option in terms of this issue is to act normal, be polite and don't worry about it. Chances are good no one will pay attention to you.

[Sarasometimes]

Today in Annie Sez I saw the same poster as in Nine West. Below is a link. It states that they need to accomodate gender identity needs.

http://www.nj.gov/oag/dcr/downloads/...baccposter.pdf
I'm thinking about having a copy in my purse. It may stave off any wackiness.

[NathalieX66]

New Jersey also allows for people to use the restroom of the gender they present in.....that includes CD/TG. ...the key wording in the law was "gender expression".
This law came before Fatso became governor, and I'm willing to bet he doesn't even know it exists.

[Alexiz]

I often feel creeped out and a little threatened in public men's rooms even when I'm dressed fully male. I do not feel more comfortable being around others of my same sex in there, and would be much happier to be able to use the women's room all the time. (Obviously, I don't when it is not appropriate.)

Single-stall, unisex or "family" bathrooms are far and away the best.

- Diane

I would have to say I feel the same way. I've never actually gone out dressed, yet... but I almost never use the bathrooms because of the discomfort. I never liked public bathrooms to begin with, and being around with other guys makes me feel even more uncomfortable. I would definitely prefer using unisex, single, or family bathrooms if I had the choice, dressed or not.

[Ally Anne]

Hi Cynthia Anne! First... I really like your middle name! As a fellow Missourian, I am glad to hear of your positive experience! Peace, Anne

[Stacey Summer]

I haven't actually gone out dressed yet, well other than late night strolls near my house anyway. However I would use the bathroom for the sex I'm expressing. As other have said, if you act like you belong then people take no notice of you, this is true in ANY situation. Still I plan on going over to spain with a couple of close friends who know about me. There I will be going out dressed for the first time and I think I'll use the usual female formula of all going to the toilet together!