I'm a woman for life, if I even thought I could stop, I know never could. Once your fully dressed and dolled up every single day, there is never a way back!
I'm a woman for life, if I even thought I could stop, I know never could. Once your fully dressed and dolled up every single day, there is never a way back!
Leyna,
I can tell that you are a very considerate and thoughtful person. The fact that you do not want your wife to feel responsible or bad about your cd'g is admirable. I bet that many men in your situation never have the foresight to think of that aspect of it all.
I have been where you are at. The interesting thing is that when I came out to my wife, I blamed her partly. I always thought it was her fault that I dressed. Today her and I know better than that. But I did not have the insight to realize it at the time. I mean, I dressed for 20 yrs prior to marrying her for crying out loud. But my point is that you are a very thoughtful person.
Someday the time will be more right than it is now. It will be tough I am sure. But you may just be surprised as I was when you tell your wife. Remember though, you can't change who you really are. You can suppress feelings and try to act strong. But that cannot be a permanent thing. At some point in your life I believe that you have to be happy...completely. You sound like a great husband. I do not know your wife obviously. But I think that she would want you to be happy. When I came out to my wife, for 2 weeks she had some "moments" of sadness. Whenever I asked what was wrong she would tell me that she just feels so sad that I had to live in the darkness for so long. That was the last thing I thought she would be crying about. I didn't give her enough credit before I told her.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Peace.
I want to thank everyone for the kind thoughts and suggestions here. It really does mean a lot to me.
The trash is gone, and there is no getting my collection back. It wasn't too terribly costly, as I did not own a large femme wardrobe. The real loss is with the sense of self I'm losing. I know I'm going to have to figure a way to talk to her about this, eventually, as I'm pretty sure this is not just a 'phase.' But not now.
I'm wondering if maybe I could get away with underdressing, just for peace of mind.
Again, thank you all for the kind thoughts. *hugs*
I too used go thru so called "purges" but I fund out later on that I was married to the wrong person that didn't love me but just my masculine side which I'm lack of......
Love, Ericka
She's back
Welp, you all were right. I'm an idiot. I was already into my wife's bathing suit yesterday. I need a Plan B...
I am not who you think I am
With all due respect, Leyna, your wife doesn't need a strong man. She needs a strong person right now. And for you to be at the top of your game, you need to be completely confident in yourself. Internal conflict within yourself will lessen your own effectiveness to be that pillar of strength your wife needs at this time.
Men are fixers... they see something broken and feel compelled to fix it. Not everything needs fixing. Sometime understanding and compassion are far more important.
One last thought... were you to come out to your wife and convince her to join you in this exploration, would this adventure help take her focus off of what has been difficult for her this past year? Finding something to do together, whether exploring your gender choice or something else, could go a long way in helping your wife get through what she has been going through. Best wishes to you both.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]