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Thread: Therapy

  1. #26
    Junior Member Nia Hush's Avatar
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    Eh, I dunno, shirking the idea of therapy entirely isn't exactly the best idea.
    Yes, I've had some therapy before and I was misdiagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, but not all the treatment was off-the-mark - just the particualr prescription drugs.

    I went to this therapist initially with family and while they were there corroborate some of what I was experience externally, they did inject Aspergers into the conversation and the shrink just went with it without any real tests, just talking with me after talking with them for a couple sessions.

    If your therapist isn't going to put you through some tests, that's a red flag. They should be issuing some tests before prescribing or advising anything and they should also be considering the things that worked for you and the things you say that didn't. I wouldn't say shut the family or SO out, but don't let them drop flavor-of-the-week pop psychology into the conversation, either.

    You can go meet with other CDs and have a good time of it, but keep in mind friends also have a habit of telling people what they want to hear and that might make you happy for a while, but perhaps not forever. Personally, I don't go out seeking the approval of other people or have a need for that to be happy, but I know when I'm not happy.

    Do some soul-searching before deciding what you do.
    Last edited by Nia Hush; 05-05-2011 at 01:27 AM.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Never did therapy myself, don't have anything against it, just never felt the need. But For Sara Jane, from what I've heard from those that have gone to a therapist, they don't "fix you", they teach you to accept yourself for what you are. Last I heard they have nothing but theory on what even causes this phenomenon much less how to "cure it", but of course, most of us don't feel broken anyway. If therapy has any practical benefit it has to be in teaching you how to deal with the world, and how to accept yourself for who you are, just ask any women that's tried, men are hard to change, even when their trying to be women. Acceptance, of one self, what other goal can be more important.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  3. #28
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
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    My very awesome friend Jenn went to her first session yesterday and loved it! She did a lot of research before picking hers out, I know that. I joined a couple of meetup groups myself and have been to support group meetings and also to clubs and that has been my therapy. It's been such a breath of fresh air!

  4. #29
    Gender Outlaw! vikki2020's Avatar
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    This is something that I have been seriously considering. Thanks to all, for the great info!
    "And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"

  5. #30
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
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    i was curious as to what everyone's motivation is for therapy. I have gone for therapy for a number of other reasons yet none of them every concerned my desire to dress occasionally. For those who decided to go to therapy what is it that you hoped to accomplish:

    stop dressing?
    personal acceptance?
    getting a partner to accept their dressing or worse stop dressing?
    to move along the continuum towards being a ts?
    or just to tell somebody?

  6. #31
    Junior Member tiffanyfisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darla_g View Post
    i was curious as to what everyone's motivation is for therapy. I have gone for therapy for a number of other reasons yet none of them every concerned my desire to dress occasionally. For those who decided to go to therapy what is it that you hoped to accomplish:

    stop dressing?
    personal acceptance?
    getting a partner to accept their dressing or worse stop dressing?
    to move along the continuum towards being a ts?
    or just to tell somebody?
    I originally started going on the advice from my psychiatrist. I have been on an off anti depressants for about 3 years and never felt therapy would benefit me. After our first 2 visits I felt terrible and vunerable. I felt that this lady made me feel like crap. After a while, I realized that it helped me to get issues out because I did feel better after revealing them. It wasn't until after our 7 or 8th session that I mentioned I was a CD. She really likes the topic because her clinical interest are sexual topics. We spent our most recent session talking about it for nearly an hour.

    To answer your questions, I revealed it because I struggle with it. I have a wife that comepletly supports my CD antics, but I don't share it with her. I guess at the moment my therapist seems to be getting me to accept it and to include my wife. This is not something that's going to happen quickly, but I feel that we are moving in the right direction. Plus, sometimes it feels good to just tell someone about all the crap that bothers you.

  7. #32
    Member Detroit Molly's Avatar
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    I've been in therapy for six years now, the past four in intensive, five-day-a-week analysis. I started voluntarily for non-CD reasons, to get help for my wicked depression, anxiety, and a host of other issues and baggage. It was actually through my therapy that I came to know myself better and found Molly in there. I go to my sessions dressed maybe once or twice a week, and my shrink is very welcoming and accepting and comforting. Now we're talking not so much about who is Molly, but why is Molly, and that's a hard conversation to have because it's all mixed up with my gender identity and my mommy and daddy issues. Seriously, ladies. I've got more issues than National Geographic. My therapy has helped an enormous amount, and I wouldn't be the (less broken) man I am today without it. Or woman for that matter.

  8. #33
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    I think Kendra is right on - you need to know what your goals are in seeing a therapist... I don't know if a gender focused therapist can help you determine those goals if you don't know what they are.

    I've been to 3 therapists
    1. I was 26 and seriously depressed. In the mid 1980's CDing was even less accepted than now and I couldn't even tell him why I was there. After 5 or 6 sessions of helping with stress management he said he couldn't help me anymore unless I could give him more to work with. (Don't know what he knew or suspected) I quit.
    2. At 45, after telling my wife (11 years) I went to a therapist to help me stop. He took 4 or 5 sessions to get to know me and understand me. He gave me some thoughts on behaviour modification and told me it would be a process to stop and to control my behaviors, and not give in to urges. At the time I was going through an "I want to quit, purge." It didn't last. I didn't follow his advise.
    3. At 47, I decided I wanted to find a female therapist and have someone I could be real and openly talk with. I'm not sure what more I wanted. Maybe to have a place to go dressed up. Someone to talk with who knew how women thought, and maybe even give fashion advise. (I can still see the cutest brown skirt and boots she wore!) At the 2nd session she said, "Do you think this will ever go away? Do you really see yourself stopping?" I said, no. She said, that's right. So accept it. She didn't want to take any more of my money. (Funny thing is, I pulled her name out of the phonebook and thought I'd never see her again. Then her son and my son joined the same baseball team. After 3 years we've never addressed it in any way.)

    As I read the advise other girls offered here, I was pretty much in agreement and shaking my head yes. But then I saw that you are still quite young. I'd suggest staying with this forum for a while. Read and ask your questions. The girls here are fantastic and you will get as good of advise here that you will at $100 bucks an hour from any professional.

    Good luck
    Kathleen Ann

  9. #34
    Member Fractured's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darla_g View Post
    I was curious as to what everyone's motivation is for therapy.
    After impulse buying my first pair of panties just before Valentine's Day and stressing out over the issue to the extent that it seemed my hair started to fall out, I went to my primary care physician and was referred to a clinic. First appointment is about six weeks away. I am hoping to learn more about the possible causes of these feelings and how to address them in a way that will not harm me, my wife, or my kids. Not too ambitious of a goal, I hope.
    Last edited by Fractured; 05-05-2011 at 11:29 AM.

  10. #35
    Member Valerie's Avatar
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    I was depressed and stuck, not knowing how to move on. I wanted to have someone to help me understand my life and live it fully fully, not at all to "cure" me. I called several in town and none felt competent on this issue. The first was so ignorant that I interrupted our conversation after ten minutes and left (an expensive ten minutes). The second was well meaning, but had no real understanding to offer. I stuck with her for ten sessions, and it did help somehow, but little. Then I discovered someone in a different town who specializes in CD/TG and has written extensively about this, and he has proven to be superb. My SO and I meet with him regularly and our life has improved tremendously. My recommendation, as others have said, is to keep looking until you find the right one! It is worth it. And for me therapy has been invaluable.

  11. #36
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    What city are you. Number find a therapist who works with TG peeople on regular basis. My is Dr. Stan Durcharne in Boston . I love him.

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