How has crossdressing changed in your lifetime?

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I remember as a young child, dressing and being ashamed as it was one of many sources of ridicule that some of us were subjected. I had no idea that there were even crossdressers. I remember transvestites and the half male half female at easter shows, I also remember some shows like the Danny LarRue show featuring a man dressed as a woman and projecting an image of glamour and respect. I think the rocky horror picture show made more people aware of TV, but CD TG etc mayhave all been labelled as CD. Of course this was about the mid sixties to the mid/late seventies. Even homosexuality was hushed in our household. Looking back I think I was sheltered from the reality of the world. To tell the truth, I never ever thought about girls and women who were FtM, I never ever thought that their could be any.
Dressing in private and not knowing that others did the same, I was very withdrawn and felt very wrong. Now since the internet and forums and blogs and many sites that service CD,TG,TV, MTF and FTM societies. I have found out that I am not alone and this forum has widened my mind and accept many others whose thoughts differ at times to mine.
It seems that CDng is still frowned upon by many, but the boundaries are indeed lowering. I think the acceptance by the medical and health fraternity has helped immensely. People using HRT to help them emotionally and physically transition under medical guidance have some journey that years ago may have them in a mental institution.
AntiDiscrimination laws has also helped keep MtF and FtM as well as gay etc safer.
Attitudes are also very slowly changing and that maybe through so many cultures that accept MTF people better than others.
So many very brave people who have publically announced their gender issues have helped reinforce health and medical reasons to continue helping. Governments and laws being revised to allow an easy transitioning into society as an opposite member of their sex at birth.
The internet now has helped to see so many people who do have gender issues and it is not just one or two people locally. Science and embryology advancements also have helped the growth in CD awareness particularly during the embryo growth stages.
I do hope that it continues so our younger CDs have a chance to live their life as a free person within the body that was naturally intended, and not be subjected to abuse, criticism and rejection from many who may believe that mental unstablness is the only reason for someone to seek to dress as a member of the opposite sex.

[NathalieX66]

I think the internet has everything to do with crossdressing.

20 years ago, no one knew where to go. The strong acted on their impulses, and if you weren't gay you became super-confused. What outlets were there?

Lo , and behold came the internet and websites like susanamarques.com, and urnotalone.com....then more & more people established an en femme identity. I learned where CD'ers got together and hung out & socialized.

I've been out & about for over a year, and never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I'd ever be every place imaginable, whether it be shopping malls, restaurants, Starbucks, Barnes & noble booksotres, clubs both gay & straight, supermarkets & drug stores, fast food chains, gas stations, you name it. Two years ago I thought it unfathomable tht I would wear a dress anywhere in public, now I just go whenver my schedule allows. I'm talking broad daylight.
My en femme identity is literally the female counterpart of me. I finally accepted it and now I live it.
I'm also a guy who enjoys working on a table saw and fixing an antqiue car until my knuckles are bloody.

[windycissy]

Great thread! No question about it, the Internet changed everything. We also owe a debt to the gay community for busting down so many barriers, so now it's not a crime to be seen in public. I chuckled over the comments about the changes in women's fashion, now that we finally get to wear dresses, it seems like we're the only ones sometimes

[Tina B.]

I don't believe anything is all that different. Sure the INTERNET has given us the ability to find others like us, and many of us older CD's spent years thinking we where the only one. But I read the thoughts of the young new members that come in here, and I here the same thing we older ones where saying 40 or 50 years ago. Fear, we are still afraid of the way we are treated, we are still afraid to tell people who we really are. We still live in the shadows of society, we still complain of lack of acceptance. And after reading AKAMichelle's post on Why, We still can't understand how people can like us if they know the truth about who we are. Things are different, but still somethings still seem to be so much the same.
Tina B.

[Vivian Best]

The hands down winner is the Internet! It's been the catalyst for so many changes. If we look at the changes for the crossdresser in the last twenty years, mostly because of the Internet and gay/lesbian movement, and if we see as much change in the next twenty years I personally think we will be accepted in public. Of course there will be some that will still harbor resentment toward us then as they do now toward the gay/lesbian brothers and sisters.

I'm one of the mature (nice word for older) sisters here. I go back into the late '40s, for you 21 year olds thats just after WW2, and look at the changes since then you have to say, WOW!

We know were not alone, we have sisters we correspond with, we can buy our on clothing, we can share pictures, we can go out in public, and we can even change our sex! Thats all happened in the last 60 years. What will the next 60 years bring. I really regret I won't be able to stick around to see it. You young girls carry the banner into the future.

[Frédérique]

I was just wondering about the changes in approaches to crossdressing have changed in your lifetime. Anything from personal accounts to socio-political commentaries is welcome here. Has it changed drastically from when you were a child? Has there been any particular decade or time period which you would pinpoint as being pivotal to crossdressing? Have any pop cultural movements made a big impact? Have any particular films or bands helped to alter perspectives? What has been the impact of the internet? Put simply, tell me how crossdressing has changed in your lifetime.

[SIZE="2"]Crossdressing used to be a little more visible here and there, but something changed and the outlook of society, as reflected in the media, became harder and less tolerant. The Internet seems to exacerbate the gender-divide and deride any attempt to cross-cultivate, either in terms of dress, sensibilities, or longings beyond one’s actual experience. It alarms me to see young people be so polarized in opinions regarding shades of masculine behavior that don’t fit some pre-determined standard accepted by one’s peers. The fact that I feel compelled to voice MY opinion about this gender agony is disheartening, to say the least – males are expected to be males at this point in time, and any effeminacy on display seems to be ruthlessly hunted down and ridiculed. What’s an effeminate boy to do, except withdraw to the closet and wait for a more forgiving era?


There was a time when performers were somewhat gender-unspecific, either because they were themselves, or things were “trending” that way. All this was largely a reaction, or a “coming out” from a gray time in history, and many things contributed to this renaissance in feeling and appearance. It used to be OK to wear bright colors, try things on for size, straddle the genders, and welcome experimentation into your life. Unfortunately, a few bad apples spoiled the enlightenment, and authority figures accordingly pushed their own agendas of drabness – we are now living in an era of hostility, caused no doubt by fear, but it makes me wonder why people continue to allow this to happen. On any given day, you’re allowed to pursue happiness at the expense of the times you’re living in. It should be easier to do so, but somewhere along the line personal happiness was derailed – as far as crossdressing is concerned, it may as well be the 50’s. Little progress has been made, but was there ever any genuine hope that it would be otherwise?
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[BillieJoEllen]

When they changed the psychiatic journal in the late 70s or 80s. That lifted a big burden off of me because men were still being arrested for CDing. I was out a lot more then than I am now. Also of course is the internet. Where would we all be without it?

[kendra_gurl]

The Internet has allowed people who want to know the access to information and other like minded individuals. Movies and Especially Television have done a lager part in making everyone more tolerate of what we used to consider taboo. Remember I love Lucy? we never saw inside their bedroom. Remember The Dick Van Dyke Show? Rob and Laura Petry slept in Twin beds with a Night stand between them but at least we saw their bedroom. Fast forward to Bosom Buddies where we saw cross dressers in everyday situations and they were both str8 guys.

Today Look at shows like Brothers and Sisters and Private Practice. Both very popular shows with open gay marriage, gay cpl adoption, surrogate mothers, bi racial cpls and marriage and bisexuality. No matter where you stand politically or morally on these issues Americans are being conditioned and taugh tolerancece of just about everything and we cross dressers are benefiting from this tolerancece

[junetv]

Back in the 80's and 90's (pre-internet, early AOL days) when I started dressing all the way and going out (I was in my 20's) I would get my information from magazines like Transformation or Nugget. It was highly fetishistic. I met with some ladies at a local support group and would meet in the Hill Country of Central Texas. Now, I shop en-drab or pretty without any problems. Information and contacts are plentiful due to the Internet. I have made some friends on the Internet.

Yes, the Internet has been a great catalyst. Forums and picture sharing help as well as online shopping sites where I can peruse through fashions. I no longer need stacks of magazines or Sunday paper advertisements to know what fashions I can afford.

Another thing that has helped - the affordable digital camera. In the past I would take pictures with a film camera then send everything off to a mail order processer, then in the pseudo digital era of pictures, i would have the film pictures placed on a CD. Now we have digital cameras. I am fortunate to have a high end DSLR now, although my point and shoot works well too in self timer mode. Through my pictures, I can critique my look. The say the camera adds 5 lbs...I think there are at least three more cameras than I prefer to have pointed at me.

[Ingrid1999]

Tina B and Frederique make good points.

Gender roles seem to be just as and possibly more enforced then they may have been in the past. Just before I reached my teens it seemed as if "freedom" of expression was on its way for everybody. But Aids hit and a re assertion of traditional values came with it. Even the gay rights movement became less "queer" and more "suburban" males who did not act like men were not welcome. It seemed as if everyone kind of "straightened up".

I cant say for sure since the Stonewall/70s generation was a bit before my time, but by the mid 80s it definitely felt like the "party was over".

[Fionax]

Almost all the posts describe how things has improved for us, the individuals, especially the freedom provided by the internet. Only Tina and Frederique have made the point that so far as acceptance by the outside world, nothing has changed.

The enormous strides made by gay and homosexuals into general acceptance has been the result of many years of very active self promotion. As the bulk of the acting and applied arts professions have a far greater proportion of those so inclined as members, they are in a very powerful position to promote their life style. If the media are anything to go by, then the political world also has more than its fair share of people of that persuasion, so the MSM follows the trend by encouraging the attitudes of society to change.

There is nothing similar so far as we are concerned; with the odd exception, such as the British artist Grayson Perry there is absolutely no body who attempts to step over the dividing line publically, even he does it in a 'Little Bo Peep' pastiche. Who else stands out apart from the drag artistes, who are n't really representative of us, in fact they encourage a public hardening of attitudes? The odd but sad thing is, that most surveys indicate a higher proporion of men cross dress than are homosexual. Though there has been a general relaxation on our legal position in the Anglosphere, it is actually within a widespread easing of the law and not specifically to benefit our cause. Life has not improved one jot under certain theocracies, internet or not, pity our sisters there.

[sportsfan56]

God I can't even imagine where I would be without the internet since I am only 21, but if I didn't have any capability to understand what was going on would be very tough for the more mature generations of the past. I give credit to the people that didn't have internet before. I hand you girls are a tough group of people.

[BillieJoEllen]

A lot of us also relied on adult bookstores to get 'literature'. This gave some comfort in knowing that there were some people out ther like us. Most of the literature was of the porn or sexual type. I loved it when I came across my first issue of 'Tapestry". Since the internet I haven't sought any literature like that.

[kimdl93]

If I look at how things have changed for me personally its been a transition from self loathing to self acceptance. Like many formerly closeted CDs, I vacilated between stolen moments of gratification and months of denial. I can't blame this on my family or SO - it was largely self inflicted. Both my first and present wife knew and accepted my CDing as nothing worse than a harmless personality quirk. I saw it as a grevious flaw...a source of shame. Getting past that (through intensive therapy in the 90's - prior to widespread internet access mind you) was the big changed in my life.

On a broader scale, I agree that the internet has changed a lot of things for CDers, particularly access to information, social connections and abilty to shop. I think there has also been a gradual evolution in terms of social norms. I really do think that society is becoming more accepting and tolerant. At the same timee there's a bit of a backlash from those folks who see a threate in any departure from their particular value set.

[NicoleScott]

Good observation, Junetv (#34) about the digital cameras. I didn't think about that with my post, until you mentioned it, and how true it is. I remember putting my film in the processing envelope and fearing being busted for crossdressing (even by someone who didn't have any reason to care), but that's the kind of fears we crossdressers had when we had to deal with our desires all alone. Besides the privacy digital photography allows, it's much cheaper. Plus you can remove wrinkles and flaws.........uh, that is, if I really had any. haha

[kendra_gurl]

Almost all the posts describe how things has improved for us, the individuals, especially the freedom provided by the internet. Only Tina and Frederique have made the point that so far as acceptance by the outside world, nothing has changed.

The enormous strides made by gay and homosexuals into general acceptance has been the result of many years of very active self promotion. As the bulk of the acting and applied arts professions have a far greater proportion of those so inclined as members, they are in a very powerful position to promote their life style. If the media are anything to go by, then the political world also has more than its fair share of people of that persuasion, so the MSM follows the trend by encouraging the attitudes of society to change.

There is nothing similar so far as we are concerned; with the odd exception, such as the British artist Grayson Perry there is absolutely no body who attempts to step over the dividing line publically, even he does it in a 'Little Bo Peep' pastiche. Who else stands out apart from the drag artistes, who are n't really representative of us, in fact they encourage a public hardening of attitudes? The odd but sad thing is, that most surveys indicate a higher proporion of men cross dress than are homosexual. Though there has been a general relaxation on our legal position in the Anglosphere, it is actually within a widespread easing of the law and not specifically to benefit our cause. Life has not improved one jot under certain theocracies, internet or not, pity our sisters there.

Fionax I too with there was more support out there for all of us. Today in most metropolitan areas of the country its totally acceptable to see gays and especially Lesbians out doing ordaniry things in public. This site helps alot but as far as the internet its self goes I think it does as much harm as good. Google transgendered and you get some good informative sites. Google crossdress and you get a lot of sites of hairy guys in lingerie doing nasty things to themselves. Youtube has some helpful vids but it is also cluttered with degrading videos too.

What I see as the major problem is this. A lesbian woman dressed rather butch still looks mostly like a female and is accepted for her sexual choice. Gay men most of the time you can't really tell unless they are flaming. A man who is transitioning and on hormones at some point becomes kinda non gender specific in the way they present (at least the ones I personally have seen). ******** usually look more feminine than the average female after implants and facial reconstruction so they have no problems. That leaves Crossdressing Men. Unless you can pass as a female under most everyday enviroments I really doubt that the general public will ever see us as anything more than a guy in a dress wearing lipstick and a wig. I so wish it was not that way but alas it seems to be so

[Elena Ornamental]

An historical sketch here (of course there are examples of cross dressing way back into history). What the public perception was and how it changed: It starts out with a negative image, the infrequent sensationalized newspaper article where a man dressed as a woman is written up for shock value. Then Krafft-Ebbing included it in his book and labeled it a deviation/perversion (he didn't interview any well adjusted cross dressers). Then what the public would have as information would be their individual experience with drag bars and female impersonator shows. Through the 1960s what you would find in the Reader's Guide to periodical Literature would be articles mostly of the "What do we (society) do about these people". Over time this changed to "What help do these people need?" (credit Harry Benjamin, Havelock Ellis and John Money for positive information). Then you have the talk shows, some negative but more positive. I think a key event would be the success of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in the mid 1970s in changing the public perception; that was also the "glam rock" era. Also credit Virgina Prince for her Tri-Ess group and Transvestia magazine and the in person support groups that formed. Then we come to the computer age and all kinds of information is now available (including here). So I think the majority of the public know enough about it now but don't really care. There are still people hostile but I think more people are supportive these days.