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Thread: The Courage of the Crossdresser

  1. #1
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    The Courage of the Crossdresser

    I have thought a lot about courage lately. Courage takes many shapes and forms. Courage may be exhibited by the most ordinary of people on a daily basis. Courage allows us to rise above our comfort level and conquer our fears.

    I have witnessed many acts of courage throughout my life. Most recently I have witnessed the courage of my younger sister in her battle to survive a horrible illness in hope of a brighter future. The courage my sister has exhibited both humbles and inspires me. It is because of my sister that I have spent considerable time this year reflecting upon the concept of courage and what it means.

    As a life long crossdresser, I have fought my own battles for personal acceptance and love of myself. Many of us have, and many are doing so now. It is a fight I believe I won a long time ago, and I am a much better person for it.

    Until recently, however, I had not considered the courage of a crossdresser. Although the concept is certainly not foreign to the forum, it was foreign to me.

    From virtually the beginning of life, society imposes boundaries and restrictions upon gender. Boys wear blue and girls wear pink. Such boundaries and restrictions are reinforced throughout the life of any given individual. Deviation from the norm is frowned upon, misunderstood, feared, and/or rejected. The boundaries and restrictions that are imposed upon the members of society are indeed powerful, and difficult to overcome.

    Of course, there are open-minded and understanding people in the world that rise above those that engage in unfair stereotyping and discrimination, and such people exhibit yet another form of courage.

    But that we, as crossdressers, are able to remove the gender mask that society has imposed upon us literally from birth, and engage in the beauty and wonder that is crossdressing, is quite courageous in and of itself! It takes courage to look in the mirror, and affirmatively take action to alter our appearance to that of the opposite gender. It takes courage to recognize and embrace the thoughts and emotions within us that do not conform to the structure that society has placed upon our respective gender. Given such obstacles imposed upon us by a lifetime of social conditioning and the collective mind of society, it takes courage to reject such narrow-minded restrictions and conditioning and simply be who we are - crossdressers.

    To those unfortunate souls in the world that have no concept of the beauty and wonder of crossdressing, I pity such people. I believe that no one person is either maculine or feminine, however one may choose to define either term. I further believe that every individual is a combination of the two, to some degree or another. Where many reject or fail to recognize that the totality of the self may include both feminine and masculine features and attributes, we, as crossdressers, do not suffer from such personal lack of recognition of self.

    Moreover, we actively devote ourselves to the pursuit of experiencing all that crossdressing has to offer the mind, body, and soul, in our personal journey through life. The totality of who we are evolves, develops, and matures. We do not cast away a part of our being simply because society says we should. It is the courage of the crossdresser that allows us to be us. Such courage is to be respected, applauded, and celebrated.
    Last edited by Anne2345; 05-01-2011 at 02:24 PM.

  2. #2
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    That is an absolutely brilliant post. Spot on.
    I can't really say much other than, I totally agree. I think it takes a great amount of courage to break through the boundaries and restrictions placed upon us by wider society. My post is frankly feeble compared to yours, but yours says everything so eloquently that there really isn't any need to elaborate.
    I hope your sister continues to find the strength to battle her illness.
    Once again, well said.
    x

  3. #3
    Member drushin703's Avatar
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    amen!............dana

  4. #4
    A Happy Woman Darlene-VA's Avatar
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    Great post and for me the courage to accept who I really was took quite a few years but once I knew that being a woman as much as I can was what made me happy and cleared my mind life became so much better. Now I go out shopping on a regular basis and several of my friends ask if Darlene can be the one who shows up, it almost makes my male side jealous, not!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Life is too short dress whenever you can!

  5. #5
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Anne, what a lovely post!!

    As others have said - spot on! You are correct that our courage takes two forms; The courage to go out while dressed. The courage to accept ourselves guilt-free. As you know, it's the latter that is our sticking point that prevents us from doing the former, it seems. The solution? Love yourself, and then live for yourself. Sounds deceptively simple, doesn't it?



    Kathi

  6. #6
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    Great post, well said, love it.

    Ericka.
    She's back

  7. #7
    "A glass of wine anytime" rachaelsloane's Avatar
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    Anne,
    As usual, another thought provoking post and the best post post I have read here. It goes to the core of who we are and why.
    Always,
    Rachael

  8. #8
    Aussie girl Tasha McIntyre's Avatar
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    Great post Anna, really well stated

    Courage to go out dressed....gee, I remember the first few times I hit the crowded shopping mall dressed. At the time, courageous was not the first adjective I thought of to describe my actions , but after reading your thoughts I have to agree with you.

    Tash

  9. #9
    The woman inside me Kathryn Philips's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anne2345 View Post
    To those unfortunate souls in the world that have no concept of the beauty and wonder of crossdressing, I pity such people.
    I get what you mean by feeling pity on those "unfortunate souls...". Although, I prefer to use the more positive "I feel fortunate in having the gift of being a crossdresser"
    xxx
    Kathryn


    Waiting for my upgrade to Female

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member PrettyFlowingGown's Avatar
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    Great post indeed...wonderful. I've come a very long ay, but never gone out dressed in full daylight (especially in a shopping mall). I only go to a gay pub in Brisbane once a month and to a cofee place.
    I've been guilt-free for 5 and a half years. All my freinds now know. I've even told my old school mate (a man) whos been with me all these years....and his wife has no probs with me either.
    Life is too good, when you accept yourself...it really is....I'm loving who I am. I dress everyday and night. Freinds visit while i'm dressed. My neighbour (a lady) pops in and out, its just normal routine now.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I love my gorgous flowing evening and ball gowns. I love swishing in them, and feeling how beautiful and shimmering they are. I love to feel like a princess. I love to be elegant, feminine and ladylike.

  11. #11
    Member LACD's Avatar
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    Wonderful

    My words cannot do yours justice. All of the ladies on this forum show great strength and courage in doing what their inner soul says to do. The ladies that live as I wish I could show the greatest courage that I can think of. I live vicarously through you lovely ladies. May you all be safe and happy in your lives.

  12. #12
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
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    Excellent post, and very truthful. This can also be applied to not only crossdressing, but also any other harmless things people engage in, against societie's norms, and continue to do so despite the slings and arrows.

    It takes a lot more courage for me to slip on some hose and a skirt and go outside, than it does for the ignorant sod to insult me for doing it.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

  13. #13
    Leisure Lady Vivian Best's Avatar
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    Anne, I can only say, "You said it brilliantly"! Very will written and hit the nail squarely on the head.
    Vivian

  14. #14
    Silver Member Marissa's Avatar
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    Great topic and outstanding opening post..very well thought out as agreed on the responses. Even though its on crossdressing, so many other events take just as much courage..even if you take a step to meet the challenge because you become the example for others to follow. And its not always based about going against norms, etc. sometimes its just facing fears and the uncertainties of them.

    And sometimes, its the courage to stand up for what you believe in.. at any cost.

    Yet, the topic is about crossdressing and can not say it enough, well written..and I'm sure will be an inspiration to those who are facing some of the same fears.
    Marissa



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    ...is that me, baby or just a brilliant disguise?"- The Boss

  15. #15
    Junior Member Amber-Sue's Avatar
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    Wonderful Post the words ring so true for so many of us. Well written, to the point and right on the money. One point on courage I'd like to make is the courage also extends to the GG's of ours who know and except us when we chose to dress outside of the "norm"

  16. #16
    Unofficial CD Mom Holly's Avatar
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    Yes, Anne, it does take a certain amount of courage to openly cross dress. But hand-in-hand with that goes another "c" word, commitment. Commitment to be true to ourselves. Commitment to reveal our innermost dreams. Commitment to live at the core of our existence. Commitment to be truthful with those we love. Once we commit to these things, we will find out, just as the lion in the Wizard if Oz, the courage has been within us all along. Great post, Anne.
    Fulltime girl on the inside.
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  17. #17
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    That is a fabulous piece of insight. Thank you for your inspirational words. At one time or another, all of us have to draw on what courage is inside of us in order to deal with the ramifications of being who we are. It takes guts for a man to be a woman, and we deserve the blessings that go along with that. Few ever get to realize the joy that embracing the feminine within us all brings to us. In that sense, we are truly fortunate.

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  18. #18
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anne2345
    From virtually the beginning of life, society imposes boundaries and restrictions upon gender. Boys wear blue and girls wear pink. Such boundaries and restrictions are reinforced throughout the life of any given individual. Deviation from the norm is frowned upon, misunderstood, feared, and/or rejected. The boundaries and restrictions that are imposed upon the members of society are indeed powerful, and difficult to overcome.
    [SIZE="2"]I often think of that more innocent time, when the genders seemed close – in fact, I was not aware of any differences until someone began to point them out! Ever since those halcyon days of yore, external forces in our lives have been prying male and female apart, creating a wide gulf that requires knowledge to navigate in safety. Personally, I feel deviancy is a mandatory experience that needs to be embraced to the fullest – the same boundaries are always there, from one generation to the next, and its up to us to ignore them, if only to pursue personal happiness. The world may disintegrate, but we are actively learning about our true selves via ongoing integration...[/SIZE]

    Moreover, we actively devote ourselves to the pursuit of experiencing all that crossdressing has to offer the mind, body, and soul, in our personal journey through life. The totality of who we are evolves, develops, and matures. We do not cast away a part of our being simply because society says we should. It is the courage of the crossdresser that allows us to be us. Such courage is to be respected, applauded, and celebrated.
    [SIZE="2"]We live in a world where individualism is revered by some, while teamwork is championed by others – while most people try to fit within a group and affect certain social mores with the idea of “getting along” towards advancement, we attempt to incorporate the genders via a journey to the interior. It takes courage to be an outsider, a loner, and a person who cannot accurately explain the whys and wherefores of this thing called crossdressing. Imagine being comfortable with yourself, or… gasp… liking oneself! It takes courage to know who you are, despite all the temptations to be otherwise – the latter constitute false identities (or ideas) and create much of the heartache in this world…[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by TGMarla
    It takes guts for a man to be a woman, and we deserve the blessings that go along with that.
    [SIZE="2"]True, but few people, male or female, recognize this as courage. During one’s life you are being constantly bombarded with correct modes of behavior, either in the form of words or actions, and you’re expected to follow in the footsteps of others who lived their lives correctly, according to those who would influence your life choices. When you begin to crossdress, there is little or nothing to fall back on, either in the form of a “career path” to follow, or obvious role models to look up to. It takes tremendous courage to forge your own identity within this hostile jungle of societal and familial censure, and act upon your own convictions. Only when you’re dead and gone will someone realize, begrudgingly, just what a courageous individual you were, but by then it’ll be too late. In the meantime, the crossdresser carries on, true to the spirit or emotions that offer guidance. It takes guts to be who you want to be, and boldly go where most men fear to tread (or dress)…
    [/SIZE]

  19. #19
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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