Do we make too much of being read?

[audreyinalbany]

Lately I've been thinking that the whole "being read" idea probably means a lot more to us than it does to the people we encounter. I think, by and large, most people really don't care if we're out and about dressed as women. Sure you want to avoid motorcycle gangs at three in the morning, but, ordinary people probably don't think that much about it.
My sister-in-law mentioned recently that she'd run into a transvestite at the local Target. She's neither notoriously liberal nor remarkably conservative. Her take on it was "It's great if thats what their into." It didn't seem to move her much one way or another.
I can't say I've ever had a bad reaction out in public. A couple 'knowing grins' perhaps but nothing more serious than that.
Oh yeah, I have avoided groups of high school aged girls...I put them right up there with motorcycle gangs...

[Sarah Doepner]

It's probably only as bad as our self image will allow it to be. When we first start to venture out we have not had many opportunities to develop the kind of confidence that will protect us against "that look", or "I think they were laughing at me". I was petrified and actually looked better than I do today. Now I'm not as slim, but much of the added bulk is rhino skin and the expectation that I will be read. You will find that even the most experienced among us will at times have self doubts, but if the need to get out is there, it will happen and we learn to deal with it.
And yes, if the elevator door opened and it was full of High School Girls and Hell's Angles, I'd probably take the stairs. Then I'd go to the security office and ask to see the video of what I missed on that lift.

[Kathi Lake]

High school girls really aren't that bad! I've had good luck with them, at least. The worst thing one said was "Look at that ugly skirt." Another of her friends said, "Hey, I like it." and they walked off. No biggie.

I am read each and every time I go out. So what? It's not as if I'm fooling anyone. And if I were, you know what? The exhibitionist in me would probably be bummed. I want people to notice me. I want to be read. I want them to see the effort I put into it, and be recognized for it. I want people to see that we are nice, normal human beings, and not just caricatures of femininity.

Kathi

[Christina Horton]

As CDers we go out to BE seen. If not we all be home. I love the attention I get and if someone reads me and comes up to me and chats and asks question I just be the friendly girl I can be. They'll walk away with maybe a better out look on CDs.


It's also a huge thrill to talk about my fav subject....Christina LOL!!!!!

[skirtsuit]

I decided last week that everybody can read me immeadately, so who cares?
What I really, really care about is looking good and 'well-dressed'. If that causes me to stick out even more, so be it!
I was joking with a young woman SA at a local consignment shop the other day telling her that I don't care if people can't tell what I am as long as they notice that I'm well-dressed.

Best, SS

[Dana921]

I consider it a win just by virtue of being out enjoying my day! I do not want confrontation and high school girls can be fun mostly if you are willing to smile and joke (even ask for tips as they get a kick out of it) with them! Even when others know but do not ruin your day with a bad remark, YOU WON! You were able to express yourself and be whom you feel you are!

Dana

[Paula Siemen]

I have fun with it. Sometimes, when I'm shopping or out for dinner, if I feel like I'm being read to much, I just answer and comments or conversation in my normal low pitche male voice, so its just obvious I' a guy in a dress. Who really cares, as long as its someone you don't know or do not want to share that you are a CD'er. I just don't hink its that much of a big deal.

[BillieJoEllen]

I think for me part of being read stems back to my early days when if you did go out en femme and you were read you could be and would be arrested. That part has always worried me and has stuck with me.

[RADER]

Be ever watchfully for the pre-teens. The 8 to 12 year olds. They can spot a CDer from
about 5 miles away. I think they have X-ray vision or something like the Airport Scanners
have. LOL
Rader

[kimberly ann487]

Do we make too much of being read ? Yes, I think so ! It's all in our heads. 99 % of crossdressing is half mental. ( Sorry Yogi )

[Holly]

I'm sure I'm read each and every time I go out... to the grocery store, the gas station, the car wash, eating establishments, electronics stores, etc. I'm read as a happy, confident individual who is out enjoying herself. Do they know I am genetically male? Unquestionably. Do they care? Rarely. It doesn't matter so much how others see you. The most important thing is how you see yourself.

[Shelly Preston]

I am not sure "being read" is a problem its only dependant on the reaction afterwards

You will find most people treat you with respect its only the odd teenager that seems to be a problem and a few rude people in my experience

[Gerrijerry]

going out and being read will happen no matter how good we are at dressing female sooner or later. That said, the safest place to be when out dressed is with regular people. Doing every day things and going places that are not designed to be gay lesbain etc. That is what I have always done and I was always treated well. I know many CD and TS and gay and lesbians who will tell you the same thing.

[Leslie Langford]

All of us are "read" to one degree or another when we are out in public, whether we are in guy mode or not.

If we are Caucasian, Asian, Black, or Hispanic, we are "read" as such. If we are overweight or thin, we are "read" that way. If we are abnormally tall or short, bald, hairy, tanned, pale, tattooed, pierced, wear grubby clothes etc. - you name it - we are "read". Human beings, like all animals, are programmed by evolution to make a split second visual evaluation of anyone (or anything) that we encounter for the first time which, if need be, triggers the "fight or flight" instinct that has been programmed into us to ensure the survival of the species.

So if we look at being "read" as a crossdresser within that context, really, what's the big deal???

[Stephanie47]

I know if this 'at home' cross dresser walked around I would be immediately read. This past week in our downtown, and, I am presuming everywhere, there was the annual "Walk In Her Shoes" breast cancer awareness fund raiser. When I was still working it was interesting to watch the GG's try to identify the cross-dressers by how well the guys walked in four or five inch high heels. Some of the guys did it really well. Most of the other guys, trying not to be associated with potential cross dressers, did the walk in pink sandals or thongs. I guess many of those guys in high heels were 'read' or self outed.

[Jilmac]

I think I'll have to agree with you about the high school girls or any teens for that matter. It seems that they get freaked more than anyone else. And I steer clear of motorcycle gangs whether en femme or in drab. Sometimes I consider being read as part of the lifestyle I've chosen and up til now I haven't had any negative reaction from those who have read me. Most of the time, If I know I've been read or someone is staring me down, I'll just smile and wave and I think that can be more intimidating to the starer than confrontation because they'll usually look away afterward.

[StaceyJane]

I've been read more times than a magazine in a dentist's office but I've survived.
I always figure that half the guys secretly wish they could be out wearing a dress.

[ReineD]

I've read more times than a magazine in a dentist's office but I've survived.
I always figure that half the guys secretly wish they could be out wearing a dress.

I wouldn't go that far, but I agree it is not as bad as many CDers seem to think. My SO and I go out dressed everywhere frequently. Most people who don't know you don't care, and those who do think it is odd or even perhaps wrong, will keep their comments to themselves. Some people actually think it is "cool" to be so free and out on the fringes of what is considered to be "normal".

The difficulty I think is to get the people who are closer, such as family members, friends, and coworkers to not be so skittish about it that they would distance themselves and stop wanting to do things with you

[kimdl93]

For me, being read is one of the biggest obstacles to going out en femme. And yet, I have taken to wearing some make-up and perhaps a woman's top and high heeled sandals. It has occurred to me that this is a curious contradiction.

[msginaadoll]

I think most of the Cd's who are out and about do get read. However I also belive from my own experience and others that most people dont care, or have the good sense not to make a big deal about it. I think accepting I would be read was freeing, what else was there to be worried about then. Of course there could be issues but then life is never completely unmessy.

[Sherlyn]

I've learned to chuck off whatever being read means ..I use to wig out at the slightest stare ..lol ..but you know when your out and about in guy mode take a notice how ppl stare your way ..its just the way some ppl are ...perhaps they are wondering about me .. let 'em wonder..but thats about as far as it goes ..never have had any end of the world experiences YET

[Fab Karen]

Assume that you'll be read. & take it from those of us who go out, most people don't care. Often you'll get less attention than if you walked around in boy-mode in a neon pink suit.
If someone is staring, obviously they're in love.

[lingerieLiz]

I’m not sure I want to be read, but I find this thread a great discussion. I wear fem shorts and tops including bras most of the time. It is what I like and people don’t seem to react. If it didn’t cause reactions I would probably wear dresses more. Why, I’m not sure, but I think it is just that I like the clothes feel of the fabrics, and the way I look. As far back as I can remember I have always liked women’s clothing and their look. As for being read, I think back in the 60s it was easier to pass, because people didn’t know and assumed if you were wearing a dress you were a woman. Getting caught was a different story so one had to be careful.

[susants]

i try realy hard to pass as a transgender/crossdresser person not someone to be laughed at or admired just a person who like to dress nice and feel good about it

[Eryn]

Ever since I had "the talk" with my wife we tend to (discreetly) people-watch for CDers while out and about. In several months we haven't been able to "read" anyone for certain. There are just too many GGs out there with a masculine characteristic or two for us to be totally certain of any lady's true chromosomes. If we can't tell for certain, I really doubt that the "man on the street" will be able to do better.

Even if you are read, that uncertainty will carry the day unless the reader is the aforementioned teens, children, or drunks.

Eryn