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Thread: What exactly do you want to achieve crossdressing

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member kendra_gurl's Avatar
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    What exactly do you want to achieve crossdressing

    First off I'm asking this question to the straight married heterosexual cross dressers here. If you feel you are transgendered while your thoughts are important I'd prefer to keep this thread a little simpler and focused on those of us who just enjoy expressing our femininity occasionally.

    I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the progression of my crossdressing. I posted about a weekend en femme and how it was filled with new and exciting experiences fo me and my wife. While I still very much love and cherish the times when I can completely transform myself into Kendra, the reality of doing it is setting in. So I went shopping and most people did not notice I was not a GG. I'm sure some did notice but just did not say anything. Question is what exactly about it makes me want to continue to dress up and try to fool everyone?

    I have mentioned in other post that I personally enjoy dressing for the mirror. I enjoy reflectiontion I see and while I'm very critical of my look its very easy to see what my mindset at the time wants me to see. I would ask all of you to really take a close look at any photos of yourself and of most of the photos on this site.

    There are exceptions of course (no offense to anyone personally) but can't you still see almost all of us are still crossdressed men? Who are we really trying to fool? everyone else or ourselves? I'm happily married but I accept the fact that as Ken I am not a chic magnet. As kendra am I seeking attention? to be noticed? to be flirted with by others? If women were looking at Ken with sexy smiles and flirting gestures as men do Kendra would that at least slow my desire to transform myself into someone else?

    Kendra has been to a few clubs on her own as well as with a few other CD's. At the end of the night it still comes down to taking it all off and being Ken again. Even if the fantasy a lot of us have of finding that special goddess who is all about turning us into her personal girlyboy sexual slave for a night came true, could I live with myself after submitting that way? Let alone the cheating on my loving wife.

    In another thread the question of accepting wives was ask. Mine accepts my desire as something I need not something she needs me to do. No matter what she says I can't shake the feeling of not being the Man she married. I know I am simply because my dressing started about age 12 but I'm sure most of you who are "out" know what I'm talking about. How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).

    Please try to take an honest look at why you like to totally transform why you'd love to go out in public, what your really expecting to happen and where you really want to take the next step

    Kendra
    Last edited by kendra_gurl; 06-02-2011 at 04:12 PM.

  2. #2
    Live it! Love it! BeckyAnderson's Avatar
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    Hi Kendra,

    Why do most CD'ers have a need to fool anyone? Why not dress simply because it is part of who you are. I'm almost always seen as a guy in a dress but so what? I don't try to disguise my voice or act over-the-top feminine....I'm simply being me.

    Just because I am a crossdresser doesn't mean I have to keep myself in prison. When I go out I don't really expect anything from anyone. Again, I'm just being me. Accepted or not, it really doesn't matter. I've found that most people don't really care one way or the other about seeing a guy in a dress. And, we all get our fair share of looks but confidence in who you are and a smile are all that's needed to move around in the world. You'd be surprised at how that confidence spreads to others around you.

    Hugs,
    Becky

  3. #3
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

    I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

    Kathi

  4. #4
    between worlds... steftoday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathi Lake View Post
    I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

    I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

    Kathi
    Kathi nailed it. I've found that this is something I need for my own, um, "balance"; the yin and the yang of myself. I don't go out publicly dressed, but this is a part of me that needs to be "exercised"...

  5. #5
    John JohannaH's Avatar
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    I like to do it in part to thumb my nose at the stupid conventions inflicted on men as far as apparel and grooming are concerned.

    If you are shy to go out publicly dressed, do something manly while dressed. Last Friday I wore a floral maxi-dress and makeup, and leveraged out concrete anchors of rotted out wood fence posts with a 1.8 meter [6 foot] steel rod, shovel, and sledge hammer.

    Johanna
    John - Please use my legal name John. I also prefer masculine pronouns referring to myself.
    Been on M2F HRT for over 8 years
    Don't mind if I am addressed as Sir or Ma'am as long as I am treated with respect.
    Just don't call me "Maggot".

  6. #6
    50's Housewife Wannabe Madilyn A.'s Avatar
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    I agree with all the previous comments. I CD because it makes me feel happy. I enjoy all of the aspects of feeling girly. As a man I feel limited in how I can present myself, as a woman I can, change my look to suit my mood. Again, all the things said previously are so true...... What do I expect ? Well at this stage of my life it's too late to "be all I can be", wishing the internet was around about 20 years earlier. The most simplistic answer is I can be me !!........BTW, your avatar is fantastic, we are the same age, but you pull it off so well !!
    Believe in the impossible dream, dreams do come true !!!

    www.flickr.com/madilyna

    Madilyn

  7. #7
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Another, "I agree with all the above" statements. I would say that my goal is to pass completely, thus fool someone or everyone. However, realizing that it is not possible, it does not affect me in any way. I do not attempt to fool anyone. I love being me dressed as a woman and interacting with whomever can be my next victim.

  8. #8
    Girl Inside Jeanna's Avatar
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    I have achieved confidence in myself and accepting who I am. I am Jeanna-John and I cringe at the thought of ever having to give it up.

  9. #9
    No safe harbor Saoirse's Avatar
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    Oh God! How many motivations? The challenge of appearing as "female" as possible? (for my own enjoyment) The luxurious feeling of the clothing? The tingling sensation of cool air blowing over my freshly shaven nylon covered thighs? To see how many things in the house I can get nail polish on? A reaction to and rejection of, dull, dreary boy clothes? To have the cats look at me strangely?

    Perhaps the late, great Leslie Nielsen summed it up best in a TV (smirk) commercial (for whatever), "Sometimes I just want to feel pretty."

    This damn syren call.

    Saoirse (seer-shuh)
    Gaelic for "Freedom."

  10. #10
    Sixty Something Gypsy Sam's Avatar
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    Kendra,
    Thought your posting was stimulating and thought provoking. Enjoyed Kathi Lake's reply and enjoyed the minds eye and imagination description as well. This past weekend I viewed the Ben Affleck,Jennifer Lopez movie that touched on the role reversal of each characters sexuality, perceived or otherwise. Jalo's character is protrayed as a lesbian by choice, with a aggressive Type A personality. Afflecks role rejects the idea he conveys a female side with his"decent guy" persona while trying to woo Jalo. What attracts Jalo is perhaps he's the "woman" she really seeks. What attracts Afflecks character is the physical sensual side of Jalo, with a strong personality to compliment his softer side. Gigili is the name of the movie, a box office dud that did not do well box office or otherwise. For those of us here perhaps more incitefull about hetero males just liking a chance to experience their female side.

  11. #11
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Right now, I have no desire to go out dressed. I doubt that I could ever pass. I'm enjoying my private dressing times, enjoying all the sensations of the clothes, the shoes, the makeup and accessories, and finally satisfying a lifelong curiosity of what it would be like to "do it right," dressing in full from head to toe. The results have been better than I expected, and I've greatly appreciated all the wonderful feedback from our sisters here. But I accept the limits that I have, physical or otherwise. I'm just having a lot of fun exploring my feelings and I'm happy with that.

  12. #12
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    To have the cats look at me strangely?
    Ha! I get that, too ...

  13. #13
    Member
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    What do I hope to achieve? Why do we have to achieve anything? You might as well ask what I hope to achieve by watching a baseball game: nothing at all, except maybe to find a few moments of heaven in this dreary world.
    I am not who you think I am

  14. #14
    Senior Member Carly D.'s Avatar
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    There are so many great replies to this thread, I'd quote all of them.. When I was dressing it was to feel something.. The very early stages was to feel something, a feeling sort of like a drug I suppose.. And that very first time I dressed in pantyhose I chased that feeling every time since and added more clothing gradually eventually dressing fully as fem.. But there was a time(before the internet) where I dressed in some fem attire but not completely and it was that feeling that I spoke about.. Just felt so good..
    This is what I mean by "every guy can look like a girl from the right angles".. this is one of the first pictures of me dressed up.. very vague look.. almost fem...

  15. #15
    Gold Member Miranda09's Avatar
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    For me, I love the challenge of taking my male self and fully transforming into my female self. Can I do it? Well, when I look into the mirror, it appears to have succeeded!! That is the challenge and what makes dressing so much fun for me. I have been out dressed, tho only rarely, and have had a great time. And, as others have mentioned, there's something about the feel of the fabric, the dangling earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and all the other bonus's that come with dressing. In a way, I look at it like an actor looks at a role he/she is trying to portray. They are creating an illusion of someone they are not. Likewise, my goal is to create the illusion of someone I'm not...at least on the outside. Inside, we're both there.

  16. #16
    No safe harbor Saoirse's Avatar
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    I've been giving this more thought. Perhaps my first response was a little too flippant. But that's me all over, always trying for the laugh.

    Seriously, why have I dressed?

    1) The sexual thrill. Not nearly the factor it once was, but still it's part of the experience.
    2) I really like my eyes when they're made up.
    3) To escape the aches and pains of the everyday world once in awhile.
    4) Artistic expression.
    5) Again, the challenge of achieving "the image."
    6) And finally, I dearly love thumbing my nose at societal norms.
    Saoirse (seer-shuh)
    Gaelic for "Freedom."

  17. #17
    Member LACD's Avatar
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    Acheive

    When I dress, as infrequently as my chances are, I just like to relax. I guess I really want to acheive the feminine personna. I know some of you ladies are a whole lot better looking than I ever hope to be, but I still feel really food when I dress. I have never been out other than the back yard when dressed, but that dream is still there. At least I the pleasure of viewing you lovely ladies here and living vicarously through you.
    I used to do it for the sexual thrill and now it is just the thrill to dress. We are all different but all the same if that makes any sense. We are linked together by the whatever it is that makes us or lets us do what we do. I now want to acheive the feeling of just foing with it.
    Love to you all.
    Last edited by LACD; 05-10-2011 at 07:54 PM. Reason: Add a thought

  18. #18
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    First off you are gorgeous, you pass 100% and to be 60 years old you could pass for a very attractive 38. I don't see how you could see yourself as looking like a man in womens clothing. The reason we do it is to fulfill a need we were born with and its more fun and rewarding to be a sexy, pretty woman. As far as your wifes "not totally happy with it", she may not have known it when you married her but this is part of you just as the color of your eyes and it will be a part of you until you die. Keep dressing as much as you can and enjoy the blessing you were blessed with which allows you to be two people where most folks are just one. You are so blessed to look and pass as well as you do.

  19. #19
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
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    I'm kind of with Leyna on this. I don't know I have to achieve anything. I do it because I enjoy doing it. I guess I've tried to rationalize it and find other motivations, but to be honest there is an element of a sexual turn on although I don't think that's all of it either.

  20. #20
    Junior Member sophiya.rap's Avatar
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    I like to be a girl and be treated as a girl when I go out. I didn't choose to be one gender or the other, so why not be both. I don't "Try" to be "girly" when I go out, I am a girl just going about my own business without bothering anyone. I want to do everyone any other girl would do. I want to shop, buy stuff and have a small talk with the lady at the register when she is ringing my grocery or clothes.

    Fooling anyone is absolutely not an intention. It's funny though, I moved into this new apartment two weeks ago and the landlord who lives downstairs knows both of us. I had told him that my half sister visits every Saturday and she doesn't speak much English. But sure enough he doesn't forgot to say "Hi" with a big smile when I(Sophie) leave the apartment for an outing . Am I fooling him...I don't think so.

  21. #21
    Member Tess's Avatar
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    Jeez, I've been doing this for over 50 years and I didn't know I was supposed to have a goal. Its a little late in life for me to set a crossdressing goal and I wouldn't know what it would be except continuing to wear those wonderful cloths as often as I can for as long as I can. Its fun, that's all I need to know. If only I looked as good as Kendra.

  22. #22
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    I am not sure what I am hoping to achieve when I dress. I am certaintly not trying to fool anyone, sicne I have only been out once during the day. The time I went out at night I didn't really see anyone.

    I do love the process of getting dressed, putting on my make up, picking out clothes and finding a look to match how I feel that day. I enjoy the scensory part of it. Feeling the weight of my forms in my bra, the feel of clothes on my body. Can't leave out the taste and smell of my make up. It's a very feminine. Guys hygene products don't come close, most are harsh smelling where as make up, usually smells light and feminine. Lipstick has a taste like only lipstick can. I like when i do my face, looks good and I go and do something around the house, pass a mirror and there I am face full of make up, that I can't tell I am wearing, but looks great.

    Amy

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Anna B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Sue View Post
    I am not sure what I am hoping to achieve when I dress. I am certaintly not trying to fool anyone, sicne I have only been out once during the day. The time I went out at night I didn't really see anyone.

    I do love the process of getting dressed, putting on my make up, picking out clothes and finding a look to match how I feel that day. I enjoy the scensory part of it. Feeling the weight of my forms in my bra, the feel of clothes on my body. Can't leave out the taste and smell of my make up. It's a very feminine. Guys hygene products don't come close, most are harsh smelling where as make up, usually smells light and feminine. Lipstick has a taste like only lipstick can. I like when i do my face, looks good and I go and do something around the house, pass a mirror and there I am face full of make up, that I can't tell I am wearing, but looks great.

    Amy
    Ooh, expertly put Amy. I feel exactly like that...

    Hugs

    Anna x

  24. #24
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    If I knew what was inside of me that makes me do this, I'll probably turn it off. For me, it certainly carries a whole lot of risk with the SO, job, friends, church, etc... It's just me. It's been inside me since I was 4 as far back as I can remember.

    Off campus in college, I found a slip in a house that I had rented. My roommate had dropped out of college and I had the house to myself for a few months. At night, I wear the slip and just go to sleep in it. Didn't have money for anything else. It just allowed me to relax. After college, I got a great job and eventually my own house. That's when money and time came together for Renne.

    For the better part of nine years, I would dress in my comfy clothes and go out at night. Never had human contact as at that time (pre-internet) I thought I was the only one in the world like this. I then purged and set out to find a SO and make some biological replacements. After 6 months, did it. married with children.

    Fast forward 15 years, and it's time for the comfy clothes again. Only this time, I have a little more money and a whole lot of time. And guess what, since I found this site, I'm not the only one in the world like this. Thank god.

    You girls have made it sooo much easier for me to dress and am starting to get out .... in the daylight no less.

    No I will never be a GG, but I sure like playing one. It's kind of like acting for me. A challenge. The better I act, you know, makeup, figure, clothes, the better the actor [ah hem - actress] I will be....

    Renne.....

  25. #25
    naughty nurse Billie Jean's Avatar
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    I dress because I love to, simply put I love to go out all dressed up. In my marriage my wife accepted it and never said anything derogatory. Kendra your pics look great, I wish I looked that good. Billie Jean

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