What exactly do you want to achieve crossdressing

[kendra_gurl]

First off I'm asking this question to the straight married heterosexual cross dressers here. If you feel you are transgendered while your thoughts are important I'd prefer to keep this thread a little simpler and focused on those of us who just enjoy expressing our femininity occasionally.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the progression of my crossdressing. I posted about a weekend en femme and how it was filled with new and exciting experiences fo me and my wife. While I still very much love and cherish the times when I can completely transform myself into Kendra, the reality of doing it is setting in. So I went shopping and most people did not notice I was not a GG. I'm sure some did notice but just did not say anything. Question is what exactly about it makes me want to continue to dress up and try to fool everyone?

I have mentioned in other post that I personally enjoy dressing for the mirror. I enjoy reflectiontion I see and while I'm very critical of my look its very easy to see what my mindset at the time wants me to see. I would ask all of you to really take a close look at any photos of yourself and of most of the photos on this site.

There are exceptions of course (no offense to anyone personally) but can't you still see almost all of us are still crossdressed men? Who are we really trying to fool? everyone else or ourselves? I'm happily married but I accept the fact that as Ken I am not a chic magnet. As kendra am I seeking attention? to be noticed? to be flirted with by others? If women were looking at Ken with sexy smiles and flirting gestures as men do Kendra would that at least slow my desire to transform myself into someone else?

Kendra has been to a few clubs on her own as well as with a few other CD's. At the end of the night it still comes down to taking it all off and being Ken again. Even if the fantasy a lot of us have of finding that special goddess who is all about turning us into her personal girlyboy sexual slave for a night came true, could I live with myself after submitting that way? Let alone the cheating on my loving wife.

In another thread the question of accepting wives was ask. Mine accepts my desire as something I need not something she needs me to do. No matter what she says I can't shake the feeling of not being the Man she married. I know I am simply because my dressing started about age 12 but I'm sure most of you who are "out" know what I'm talking about. How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).

Please try to take an honest look at why you like to totally transform why you'd love to go out in public, what your really expecting to happen and where you really want to take the next step

Kendra

[BeckyAnderson]

Hi Kendra,

Why do most CD'ers have a need to fool anyone? Why not dress simply because it is part of who you are. I'm almost always seen as a guy in a dress but so what? I don't try to disguise my voice or act over-the-top feminine....I'm simply being me.

Just because I am a crossdresser doesn't mean I have to keep myself in prison. When I go out I don't really expect anything from anyone. Again, I'm just being me. Accepted or not, it really doesn't matter. I've found that most people don't really care one way or the other about seeing a guy in a dress. And, we all get our fair share of looks but confidence in who you are and a smile are all that's needed to move around in the world. You'd be surprised at how that confidence spreads to others around you.

Hugs,
Becky

[Kathi Lake]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

[steftoday]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

Kathi nailed it. I've found that this is something I need for my own, um, "balance"; the yin and the yang of myself. I don't go out publicly dressed, but this is a part of me that needs to be "exercised"...

[JohnH]

I like to do it in part to thumb my nose at the stupid conventions inflicted on men as far as apparel and grooming are concerned.

If you are shy to go out publicly dressed, do something manly while dressed. Last Friday I wore a floral maxi-dress and makeup, and leveraged out concrete anchors of rotted out wood fence posts with a 1.8 meter [6 foot] steel rod, shovel, and sledge hammer.

Johanna

[Saoirse]

Oh God! How many motivations? The challenge of appearing as "female" as possible? (for my own enjoyment) The luxurious feeling of the clothing? The tingling sensation of cool air blowing over my freshly shaven nylon covered thighs? To see how many things in the house I can get nail polish on? A reaction to and rejection of, dull, dreary boy clothes? To have the cats look at me strangely?

Perhaps the late, great Leslie Nielsen summed it up best in a TV (smirk) commercial (for whatever), "Sometimes I just want to feel pretty."

This damn syren call.

[JaytoJillian]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

I agree with Kathi, but I'll add that I don't dress to "fool" anyone--albeit it's nice when it happens--I like when people know that I'm a guy, but they have to admit, "that dude looks good in a dress."

[Kathi Lake]

If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you?

Oh, that pill!!

Yes, I'm sure she would - by either hiding it from me in my food or by some other means, she would love to permanently remove what she feels to be my only character defect. What she doesn't realize is that she would be removing the best part of me, in my opinion. Sure, I flounce around in a bra and heels. Sure, I can do my makeup better than she can (yeah - I know what you're thinking, but it is sadly true), and she dislikes this 'part' of me. But I believe that part of me is also responsible for my better qualities - my sensitivity, my nurturing, my patience, my willingness to compromise. Yes, I know; there are men with these qualities, and they probably don't go poofing around in a dress, but I feel that if you remove that part of me, what would be left would be the type of man that is detestable to me, and - though she may not know it - to her as well.

Now if you turned that quote around; If I could take a pill (voluntarily) that would get rid of it, I would have to say no. I would not take it. Yes, my crossdressing has given me and those who love me various trials and tribulations. To say that there have been some negatives would indeed be an understatement. However - and this is a big however - it has also opened up to me an incredible world of being that I never would have experienced. There is no way after knowing what I know and living what I've lived that I would ever want to miss out on these experiences.

Kathi

[CDPheobe]

All I want to achieve, is inner happiness. I don't understand why I love to dress up as Gigi. All I know is that I have a wife who knows what I do, when, and what I dress in. Beyond that, my life is an open book to her. I leave nothing out of my day to hide. They say, "The truth will set you free'. Well if being open and free to my wife makes me feel happy, then so be it. I don't lie, cheat, or otherwise hook up with other women. I am heterosexual. She is my best friend, and that I will not put in jeopardy for anything in this planet.

[Farrah]

I agree with Kathi, but I'll add that I don't dress to "fool" anyone--albeit it's nice when it happens--I like when people know that I'm a guy, but they have to admit, "that dude looks good in a dress."

Grear quote girl!! How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while.

[kendra_gurl]

Nicole I think you are achieving exatly what you want. You can get as glam as you want for the mirror or tone it down a little to go out. thats what makes it so much fun. The freedom and ability to express yourself to yourself how ever you like.
Glad you wife approves too that always helps

[betty1253]

I dress because it just feels right. There is also a zen like state where my male self fades into the background. This is the happiness part for me.

[Farrah]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

Perfect answer!! I so totally agree.

[Madilyn A.]

I agree with all the previous comments. I CD because it makes me feel happy. I enjoy all of the aspects of feeling girly. As a man I feel limited in how I can present myself, as a woman I can, change my look to suit my mood. Again, all the things said previously are so true...... What do I expect ? Well at this stage of my life it's too late to "be all I can be", wishing the internet was around about 20 years earlier. The most simplistic answer is I can be me !!........BTW, your avatar is fantastic, we are the same age, but you pull it off so well !!

[AllieSF]

Another, "I agree with all the above" statements. I would say that my goal is to pass completely, thus fool someone or everyone. However, realizing that it is not possible, it does not affect me in any way. I do not attempt to fool anyone. I love being me dressed as a woman and interacting with whomever can be my next victim.

[Julie Denier]

Right now, I have no desire to go out dressed. I doubt that I could ever pass. I'm enjoying my private dressing times, enjoying all the sensations of the clothes, the shoes, the makeup and accessories, and finally satisfying a lifelong curiosity of what it would be like to "do it right," dressing in full from head to toe. The results have been better than I expected, and I've greatly appreciated all the wonderful feedback from our sisters here. But I accept the limits that I have, physical or otherwise. I'm just having a lot of fun exploring my feelings and I'm happy with that.

[Jeanna]

I have achieved confidence in myself and accepting who I am. I am Jeanna-John and I cringe at the thought of ever having to give it up.

[Gypsy Sam]

Kendra,
Thought your posting was stimulating and thought provoking. Enjoyed Kathi Lake's reply and enjoyed the minds eye and imagination description as well. This past weekend I viewed the Ben Affleck,Jennifer Lopez movie that touched on the role reversal of each characters sexuality, perceived or otherwise. Jalo's character is protrayed as a lesbian by choice, with a aggressive Type A personality. Afflecks role rejects the idea he conveys a female side with his"decent guy" persona while trying to woo Jalo. What attracts Jalo is perhaps he's the "woman" she really seeks. What attracts Afflecks character is the physical sensual side of Jalo, with a strong personality to compliment his softer side. Gigili is the name of the movie, a box office dud that did not do well box office or otherwise. For those of us here perhaps more incitefull about hetero males just liking a chance to experience their female side.

[RenneB]

If I knew what was inside of me that makes me do this, I'll probably turn it off. For me, it certainly carries a whole lot of risk with the SO, job, friends, church, etc... It's just me. It's been inside me since I was 4 as far back as I can remember.

Off campus in college, I found a slip in a house that I had rented. My roommate had dropped out of college and I had the house to myself for a few months. At night, I wear the slip and just go to sleep in it. Didn't have money for anything else. It just allowed me to relax. After college, I got a great job and eventually my own house. That's when money and time came together for Renne.

For the better part of nine years, I would dress in my comfy clothes and go out at night. Never had human contact as at that time (pre-internet) I thought I was the only one in the world like this. I then purged and set out to find a SO and make some biological replacements. After 6 months, did it. married with children.

Fast forward 15 years, and it's time for the comfy clothes again. Only this time, I have a little more money and a whole lot of time. And guess what, since I found this site, I'm not the only one in the world like this. Thank god.

You girls have made it sooo much easier for me to dress and am starting to get out .... in the daylight no less.

No I will never be a GG, but I sure like playing one. It's kind of like acting for me. A challenge. The better I act, you know, makeup, figure, clothes, the better the actor [ah hem - actress] I will be....

Renne.....

[Billie Jean]

I dress because I love to, simply put I love to go out all dressed up. In my marriage my wife accepted it and never said anything derogatory. Kendra your pics look great, I wish I looked that good. Billie Jean

[NathalieX66]

I do it to live the other half of me.
After a while I don't even consider it crossdressing, I just see it as flipping genders, and I'm fine with that. All I know is I'm not happy in merely one place.

[t-girlxsophie]

I love my Crossdressing and expressing my femme side,I have an understanding and supportive Wife to share my life with,who loves all aspects of this part of our lives,theres no great mystery or end game,I just want to live life to the fullest,without any regrets,happy and content

Sophie

[lingerieLiz]

I was thinking about this lately. I wear women's clothes because that is what I identify with. Not sexually, but image wise. When I go to put on clothes it just seems natural to put on clothes associated with women. It would be much easier if I didn’t have this innate feeling for wearing feminine clothes.

[CaitlynRenee]

My college sophomore daughter and I have discussed it frequently. She says I couldn't help it if I wanted to and there really doesn't HAVE to be a reason. She also said that if there were to be a scientific reason, it would most likely be that men have both the 'X' and 'Y' chromosome inside us and that BOTH of our chromosomal genders need to be expressed now and then. We have nipples that aren't of much use either.

So I guess it comes down to this, I dress because I like how it makes me feel (comfortable and at peace). I like how I relate while enfemme. I love everything about being female when I'm enfemme, just as I love everything about being male when I'm in drab.

[Lorileah]

cuz I like it, any questions?