First off I'm asking this question to the straight married heterosexual cross dressers here. If you feel you are transgendered while your thoughts are important I'd prefer to keep this thread a little simpler and focused on those of us who just enjoy expressing our femininity occasionally.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the progression of my crossdressing. I posted about a weekend en femme and how it was filled with new and exciting experiences fo me and my wife. While I still very much love and cherish the times when I can completely transform myself into Kendra, the reality of doing it is setting in. So I went shopping and most people did not notice I was not a GG. I'm sure some did notice but just did not say anything. Question is what exactly about it makes me want to continue to dress up and try to fool everyone?
I have mentioned in other post that I personally enjoy dressing for the mirror. I enjoy reflectiontion I see and while I'm very critical of my look its very easy to see what my mindset at the time wants me to see. I would ask all of you to really take a close look at any photos of yourself and of most of the photos on this site.
There are exceptions of course (no offense to anyone personally) but can't you still see almost all of us are still crossdressed men? Who are we really trying to fool? everyone else or ourselves? I'm happily married but I accept the fact that as Ken I am not a chic magnet. As kendra am I seeking attention? to be noticed? to be flirted with by others? If women were looking at Ken with sexy smiles and flirting gestures as men do Kendra would that at least slow my desire to transform myself into someone else?
Kendra has been to a few clubs on her own as well as with a few other CD's. At the end of the night it still comes down to taking it all off and being Ken again. Even if the fantasy a lot of us have of finding that special goddess who is all about turning us into her personal girlyboy sexual slave for a night came true, could I live with myself after submitting that way? Let alone the cheating on my loving wife.
In another thread the question of accepting wives was ask. Mine accepts my desire as something I need not something she needs me to do. No matter what she says I can't shake the feeling of not being the Man she married. I know I am simply because my dressing started about age 12 but I'm sure most of you who are "out" know what I'm talking about. How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).
Please try to take an honest look at why you like to totally transform why you'd love to go out in public, what your really expecting to happen and where you really want to take the next step
Kendra