Some people are against - warning! controversial

[Stephanie47]

If somebody wants to try to cease being a cross-dresser or an alcoholic or a drug user or a spouse abuser, so be it. From what I read the poster does not have a clue as to why I cross dress or the majority of the participants on our site. He states his cross dressing led to compulsive masturbation. Becoming a horny teenage male led me to excessive masturbation. I've progressed past that stage some five decades ago. It sounds as if that poster may not have progressed sexually. He states he has not cross dressed for four weeks and he feels better. I did not cross dress for two plus years, had a loving relationship with the woman I married, and, the urge of my youth came back in a more refined manner. More to continue later- got to pick up my wife-raining hard.

Back from running errands and dinner. I went and read the entire site. Nothing different from my original observations. I may add, anyone's productivity will increase if the person avoids all other activities. To what end do I ignore other aspects of life. Trying to avoid an issues will only create new issues and a disruption in other areas of life. He raises some valid issues which everyone on this site has expressed in one form or another.

Frankly, after reading all the statements and responses, they all have the same style and syntax of the blogger.

[Momarie]

I think he is suffering....just in a different way from you.

I feel sorry for him not to have the support, kindness and confidence you all have.

[Marissa]

well from the initial read through,

"I created it because I have not seen very many places online (or offline for that matter) where there is help for crossdressers who want it."

How about a psychologist or a gender therapist to begin with? My mother kept pushing me to talk to a psychologist about it so i would stop. Given that she's a medical professional, i can follow a psychologist being a good choice.

Even though your response is correct and valid..with internet so accessable to many, this is usually the first place that many go..just read all the intros for this website..now just change the site name to "stopcrossdressing.com" and would that be the same type of support as this one is for us? If you accept this site, then should you not give an understanding for a site such as that?

"When I crossdress, nine times out of ten it leads to masturbation. What I have realized is that masturbating ultimately drains you of energy. And a loss of energy means a loss of production and less income. For someone who aspires to be wealthy, I have to choose between continuing down the crossdressing path, or stop it completely and focus strictly on my goals"

the apparent concern here a fetishistic attachment to transvestism. Rather than dealing with the issue properly, as i noted above by seeking professional help from a psychologist, he's just suppressing it and hoping it will stop. Futher he's blaming the crossdressing for his apparent lack of focus, giving me the impression of looking for an easy scapegoat.

To some, crossdressing is a fetish (I'm still fumbling that one around when it comes to understanding my own reasons)..a fetish like BDSM as a comparison, get leathered and bounded up on those special weekends and then put it away for the 9-5 week.

Now in agreement with Vanessa, it can be a vehicle for masturbation..again..others have that reason too. Now I am speaking of those who are not 'born in wrong body' or 'desire to transition'..at least not at this stage.

How about a gamer or chat lover who spends 8-12 hrs playing or talking..sometimes with only a couple of hours of sleep..will that person lose focus? would a job or enterprise be affected? IF your not sure..well ask members on this site, since I have seen a thread or two on just that topic..and I have 'talked' to others who have a bad day at work due to extensive time here..and personnally, I have not focused on getting a job (until recently..yahhhh!!!!) honestly because I would be here instead of working on a resume.

then there's the whole post on the negative effects of crossdressing. It's so chock full of sexist and bigoted remarks i had to close the window. just a few for the record.

"If you think about it, this has some validity. I used to be sick at the thought of being a woman when I was a teenager. I used to think about how bad girls had it. Let’s face it, they have much more maintenance then men do, are more emotionally unstable, are more likely to be raped or taken advantage of, are discriminated against in the workforce much more than men, etc. I could go on and on, but the point is I never even entertained the thought."
....

"Every transsexual at some point started off just like you and me. Went down the same path. Most are heterosexual who only did it for awhile because of the sexual thrill (sound familiar?). They continued to go down the continuum until at some point they were convinced that they are a woman trapped in a man’s body and wanted a sex change."

Okay, now we are getting somewhere..uneducated? yes, in some aspects..especially when using 'Every' as a group term Some are just his personnal thoughts, like how he viewed how bad girls had it..its just his perception but its not cruel or degrating. And depending on experiences..the 'sexist' statements of high maintenance, rape, etc..well I will honestly tell you that I have seen ALL of that in my experiences in the military..so it could have been easy for me to have the same views. Only difference is that I could see the unfair hand that was dealt to make the outcome so. Hope you can understand that part.

Also to Steli, if you feel this is turned into a thread hijack, I will gladly delete this post from here to repost elsewhere.

Are the methods/reasons valid answers to stop crossdressing??? most likely not, but its his and other posters beliefs.. their right to express..

As others have said, its your right to continue as you wish.

Thank you for answering my inquiry.

Marissa

[Detroit Molly]

well from the initial read through,
"When I crossdress, nine times out of ten it leads to masturbation. What I have realized is that masturbating ultimately drains you of energy. And a loss of energy means a loss of production and less income. For someone who aspires to be wealthy, I have to choose between continuing down the crossdressing path, or stop it completely and focus strictly on my goals"

Wait...that sounds mighty familiar...

http://content7.flixster.com/photo/1...932145_gal.jpg

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.

[Bernadina]

While we at it why not go all the way??

Society for the Recapture of Virginity

http://www.rsub.com/thebluedot/srv/

[Debglam]

Detroit Molly

You may owe me a new monitor because I just spit water all over it!!!!

LMFAO!!! My favorite movie BTW!

Thanks Molly!

[Detroit Molly]

You may owe me a new monitor because I just spit water all over it!!!!

LMFAO!!! My favorite movie BTW!

Thanks Molly!

Hahahaha, no problem. We'll deny this guy our essence together.

[Marissa]

I want to increase my income, so I'm going to stop exercising because it drains my energy.
It's all garbage.
Let's see how long that site lives.

Excessive energy in one area may come at the cost of another area..if you can not balance it all to the level that you desire..

I don't know the FULL history of this site, but what if it was born of a blog?

I think he is suffering....just in a different way from you.

I feel sorry for him not to have the support, kindness and confidence you all have.

Jamie, that is very kind of you to say about those of us here..I wonder how he/others on that blog would feel getting insight from us here???? Like "its not going to go away, but you can 'treat it'" or "I would seek out professional help as we have suggested to those with the same questions and trials that you have"

Or would that be against the agreement we made upon joining this site??????

[Jeanna]

I've read some of the bs on that site and I've come to the conclusion that they're mostly a bunch of ******s!!

[Momarie]

MARISSA SAID:
"Jamie, that is very kind of you to say about those of us here..I wonder how he/others on that blog would feel getting insight from us here???? Like "its not going to go away, but you can 'treat it'" or "I would seek out professional help as we have suggested to those with the same questions and trials that you have"...."

YES, I think it would be nice to gently steer him into acceptance of himself....and to offer him support instead of his self loathing struggle.

I really don't get your last remark and the ~ mean ~ laughing at you ~ devil face.

What agreement??????????????
To bash a natural woman?????????????

Goddamn it, I give up.
I really don't understand how you could take my compassion for someone who STRUGGLES & doesn't accept himself and then BEAT ME OVER THE HEAD with it.
I really don't understand how you could misconstrue my words or my meaning so completely.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]What if the guy is a war veteran? He has every right to do what he's doing, whether we agree or not. This is still a free nation, according to the constitution and Bill of Rights. Live and let live![/SIZE]

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Personally I think he/she has a right to post a web page and comment about Crossdressing issues too. After briefing through a few comments I think some of the people there have sexual desires that involve crossdressing. Sure, if that is your thing then talk about it there but some of us who crossdress, not for sexual gratification, but it is within our persona like crossdressing for fashion sense. As long as there is no condescending comments that critique us who do not do it for sexual gratification then it may help those who have a sexual need. I think we need to read all types of comments in order to realize that we do not reside in an ideal world and there will always be various people who disagree to some amount. How we handle this is up to ourselves to be above those who try to pull us down and label us all as sexual deviants.

[Marissa]

MARISSA SAID:
"Jamie, that is very kind of you to say about those of us here..I wonder how he/others on that blog would feel getting insight from us here???? Like "its not going to go away, but you can 'treat it'" or "I would seek out professional help as we have suggested to those with the same questions and trials that you have"...."

YES, I think it would be nice to gently steer him into acceptance of himself....and to offer him support instead of his self loathing struggle.

I really don't get your last remark and the ~ mean ~ laughing at you ~ devil face.

What agreement??????????????
To bash a natural woman?????????????

Goddamn it, I give up.
I really don't understand how you could take my compassion for someone who STRUGGLES & doesn't accept himself and then BEAT ME OVER THE HEAD with it.

FOR ALL..PLEASE READ..

Jamie sent me a PM, along with this post about my response. I want to explain here so ALL will understand..and know.

JAMIE, ITS WITH MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES THAT YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.

I was being sincere in what I said about what we have to offer to his delima..how we have insight that it may not go away but could offer ways to minimize it..even for years. Or the part about seeking professional help. I really did mean that we can help him. In other words, I'm in agreement.

My mistake was including my response with the remark below which was intended as a joke or sarcastic..not to laugh at your idea. Such as that we joined in saying we support crossdressers, not anti-crossdressers...which I KNOW is not true.

Or would that be against the agreement we made upon joining this site?????? :TamaraCroft:

Again, I'm sorry if you took it in that manner.. I have never, nor will I provide such a response with that type of tone. ITS NOT ME.. I may not agree with everything said on this site, but I do wholeheartedly RESPECT the thoughts of others, unless they are dictating my beliefs.

[Debglam]

I don't think anyone is saying that he can't have a blog about "curing" crossdressing, at least I'm not. If people want to go there and seek "help" that is fine. IMHO he is fooling himself. If having that blog gives him, or anyone else who visits that site peace, great. I think almost all of us here know the truth and that is you may be able to stop the act of crossdressing but you are never going to get it out of your head. It has taken me 46 years to see that it is better to face something head on and make peace with it and with myself (which is still a work in progress) than to try to suppress it. His words ARE pretty sexist though.

Please, no hard feelings, especially the GG's. We need you!

[Alice Torn]

I agre Tania. It started out as a sexual turn on, but that goes away mostly. He does make it sound like its all about sexual release. I have almost no libido now, but dress yet.

[Momarie]

Well then, I guess I should apologise to you for my being so stupid that "I misunderstood you".
I should also apologize to you for "my taking it in that manner".

Anything else?

[docrobbysherry]

http://stopcrossdressing.com/
what do YOU think?

What a hoot after a LONG day!
"If u have the urge to dress or masturbate, just excersize and wait until you're very tired and the feelings will pass!" Ha ha ha! GREAT STUFF!
What's the blog writer's name again? Cleopatra?

honestly just from what I've seen at the entrance it seems extremely biased, uneducated, and bigoted.

Uh, Jaina? Have u read some of the posts from a few members here?
Remember what they say about folks in GLASS HOUSES?

[Momarie]

Marissa,

I was a bitch to you and I am sorry.

[Marissa]

Marissa,

I was a bitch to you and I am sorry.

So..uhhh may I offer a okay..enough said on this..all is good..

[t-girlxsophie]

Seems to me the guys just venting,and feels the need to start a site to let everyone know his views on Crossdressing,am sure there is many out there who do want to stop,to me it seems he has just written a lot of assumptions and untruths about the subject though

But the thing is We don't have to read it,or go anywhere near it,or are some of us just looking to be offended

Sophie

[Niya W]

. Looks like some has some deep seeded hatred of them self . I'm sure it's nothing Dr Phil couldn't work out.




Yes that's a joke , dr Laura Schlesinger would be much better suited for this job .

[sterling12]

What The Heck! He/She has The Right to lay down whatever self-indulgent prattle that she wishes to write. Most Blogs are about self-indulgence and vanity, so this is nothing new; especially in one so obviously young!

I think it has The Wrong Title. I think it ought to be called "Stopmasturbating.com". That seems to be "The Focus" of most of The Writing. Little Boys tend to be fixated with Their "Junk." As she grows older and feels The Inexorable Pull of being transgendered, things will change.

I'm just confused why we all have put so much thought into this. To quote George Bernard Shaw: "Youth is wasted upon The Young."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Debglam]

What a hoot after a LONG day!
"If u have the urge to dress or masturbate, just excersize and wait until you're very tired and the feelings will pass!" Ha ha ha! GREAT STUFF!

Can't believe I missed that line Doc! I think that is what our drill instructors had in mind back in boot camp.

[sissystephanie]

Just 2 points to be made!

First, if you are a crossdresser, YOU CAN STOP!! But only if YOU want to!! What someone else says is most likely not going to help at all. The crossdressing urge comes from within you, and only you can stop it.

Second, Abigail said it very well. We are all Individuals, and as such we are all different!! So live your own life and let others live theirs!!

[JainaCarpaccio]

Uh, Jaina? Have u read some of the posts from a few members here?
Remember what they say about folks in GLASS HOUSES?

that we shouldn't throw stones? I'm well aware, and I'm not saying he isn't allowed to say what he wants, that is merely my opinion of it. Hooray for the first amendment. He's allowed to voice his opinion, and I'm allowed mine.