Some people are against - warning! controversial

[RachelOKC]

Well that site is a more than a little sad, isn't it? Such self-loathing. I find it likely that this person will never find peace because they'll never find what they're looking for.

I suppose if you have enough willpower or self-control you could stop crossdressing, but that's just the physical manifestation, isn't it? It's not the stuff that's going on inside your head. Could be wrong...but I'm pretty sure you can never stop that. I take that back, we all stop eventually...well maybe not. I intend to be buried in a dress.

[suchacutie]

Everyone has the right to post whatever they want on their website. As I read some of the responses it did seem like it was acting as a lightening rod for the extreme. I loved the line, "there is only male and female....there is no such thing as trans". Now there's a person who has no knowledge of biology! wow...

I did notice how very few responses were present on that site. I doubt I'll return to it.

[Lucy_Bella]

Hah!!

Its not that easy as most of us know who have tried countless times to stop.. The blog reminds me how I use to feel and ways to help me stop that failed. Crossdressing isn't like gambling, or drinkin ETC.. It is apart of us it's inside of us, not machines or addictive subtances that we feel we need to create pleasure.. I can stop gambling, I can stop ( if I did them ) drugs but I can not after try after try stop Crossdressing...I can do it ( stop) for a short time even a few years but as I have found out it never goes away..

[Tina B.]

Hey, I think the guy is wrong, I doubt he will succeed in the long run. But I do know, we all fight the demons in our own way. It took years for me to accept who and what I am, that and a few purges. Maybe he is just a tortured soul, looking to purge is mind of all of what he sees as evil. He might be right, I have dressed off and on all my life, and I didn't get wealthy. I feel sorry for anyone that has so much hatred of something that is such a large part of himself.
Tina B.

[shesadvl]

I want to increase my income, so I'm going to stop exercising because it drains my energy.
It's all garbage.
Let's see how long that site lives.

thats so funnie nicole but one has to agree

[Maddie22]

I have no problem with someone wanting to stop crossdressing at all, and there probably isn't a whole lot of online resources or forums that discuss the trials of going through the process of quitting. While I believe that most of us on this forum will agree that the feeling to crossdress never ceases, I also know that we don't have any scientific proof that says quitting can't be done either, and I think a site like that could be helpful if one chooses to follow that path.

I do think that there are some valid points that he brings up. Crossdressing can be very expensive. If you have the money to burn that is fine, but there have been times where I've spent more than I should, or I even decide to focus more of my money on clothes rather than skiing, which I also love to do. Now this is a choice that I do make to spend my money this way, however if I were to quit I would be saving a lot of money.

Like it or not there is also guilt involved with us crossdressing as well. Feeling guilty is one of the worse feelings that I feel. Now we shouldn't feel guilty, and I do believe that we only feel this way because of societal views, either way we do experience this emotion as a result of crossdressing.

I also know that crossdressing can interfere with family, friends, and spouses/SO's. We can look at all the threads that are started with similar themes relating to problems we often face with our SO's.

For whatever reasons, right or wrong, there are some negatives that come along with being a crossdresser, or using the umbrella term transgendered. I know life would be much simpler if I wasn't transgendered, I am very aware of that. I've always said if life was perfect for me I'd be a cisgender genetic female first, followed by a cisgender genetic male second. However life isn't perfect and I do realize this as well. With that said I knew from a pretty young age of around 4 that something wasn't right, and I can even remember thinking around that age that I wonder if I'll grow up to be like mommy.

This leads in me into the negatives I find with his site. While I have no problems with people trying to quit, I do have problems with people assuming or allowing to be posted the beliefs that being a transexual or gay is wrong. Under the transgendered umbrella falls a wide variety of people who they are. From drag queens and crossdressers to transexuals and transvesites, we all present and feel differently.

I believe from what he has posted he has really narrowed down gender to be overly simplistic which it isn't. That is very ignorant.

His views on masturbation are pretty skewed as well. While I have done that act while dressed, that act isn't the driving factor for why I dress. For me, as someone who plans on transitioning in the future, I do that act while dress because I feel most alive and myself when I dress (I would like to point out that this happened much more in my teenage years, and far less as I got older). I'm really not sure how he finds a correlation between masturbation and energy levels, that is pretty asinine.

Overall I understand the motivation to quit crossdressing. I'll support whoever chooses to do so as well. I won't support him because I feel like he has tried to box himself and the complexity of gender into a small simple box, which that is the biggest fault he has.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]This poor guy is only 26 years old and has never had a girlfriend! He's always felt shy around women. He feels guilty when he cross dresses and/or masterbates. Yikes, he's so young and inexperienced. He's got no real idea of who he is or why.

I'm sorry, but he's got nothing to say that will be of any relevance to me whatsoever. He hasn't had a life yet. The poor guy probably hasn't even gotten la1d yet! What he has to say means absolutely nothing. Everybody who can get on the internet can start writing anything they want. Does that mean they really know anything of what they are writing. Even folks with twice his years and experience are subject to writing nonsense.[/SIZE]

[Delila]

I could be wrong but what I see is a person with a failing business trying to find any excuse other than perhaps poor business skills to blame for it. The common theme on the site was loss of money loss of focus in the business causing loss of money. I don't know about most others here but I would think that for any that consider themselves more TG than TV the act of dressing does not culminate in masturbation 9 times out of 10. If that was the case I would have no free time as I underdress to some degree every single day. I do feel sorry for a person so insistant to blame the perhaps only variation in their life on their failing business but all that it really comes to is that if he manages to become rich as he dreams he will just be able to buy and purge more expensive clothing.

[ReineD]

I think he has his right to try to stop. Like we have the right to continue.

Precisely.

He did say he is a transvectic fetishist. It is not about gender identity. And even if it were, why would it be wrong for him to make the choices he feels are appropriate for himself, whether they are short-lived or not?

We think there aren't many CDers who wish to stop, because when they do they don't come around here any more. There is no support in this forum for these CDers.

Cd.com forum members routinely ask other people to step outside their comfort box and accept the CDing. So why can't the CDers here step outside their own box and accept those who don't wish to do this anymore?

Edit

Food for thought: Drinking, eating, sex, shopping, and gambling do not cause issues for most people. These are all activities to be enjoyed and they do not negatively impact lives. Yet, they can be immensely addictive to others. Isn't it possible that dressing for fetish reasons can be addictive for some people, who then cannot function normally in other aspects of their lives?

We often say here that we cannot compare the CDing to an addiction and I agree, since for many people it is who they are, not what they do. But is this true for everyone, especially those who forgo their other responsibilities or who lose interest in their other activities?

[Lizeth]

Okay.. So what I take away from this is Crossdressing = Masturbation.. Masturbation = loss of energy/'Distraction' from focusing on his 'business ventures'... Now is Masturbation more exhausting/draining than, oh, I don't know.. sex? So we can assume he'll be taking a vow a chastity along with his attempting to stop crossdressing? Frankly, I think the webpage falls somewhere between harmless and comical. He tries to sell his theory on 'success' like an Amway pusher. While I don't have any issues with anyone wishing to quit the lifestyle, I just don't see this particular venture going anywhere..

[Jay Cee]

Crossdressing has lead some heterosexual men to getting a sex change

Wow, self loathing AND misinformed.

[Noortje]

I think that the guy who wrote the site is misguided, but he is trying to make his life better and examining his feelings. I cannot disapprove of that. I also strongly believe he has the right to express his ideas and feelings publicly. That is what the internet is for.

[Rianna Humble]

I haven't read everything on the site, but I cannot condemn the person for writing it. How often have I read on cd.com that if it were possible to stop, why does no-one ever post about that?

What I did read seemed to be all from people who were fetishistic transvestites - whilst there is nothing wrong with someone being a fetishist, that does not give them insight into the world of transgender.

It seems that the young man who started the blog has a number of misunderstandings about gender, but if there are people like him who cross-dress as a fetish and can use his writings to help them follow their desire to stop, then why not?

It might be worth challenging some of his misunderstandings, but I doubt that the response would be published on the site.

I think he is suffering....just in a different way from you.

I feel sorry for him not to have the support, kindness and confidence you all have.

I think Momarie's comments are more eloquent that anything I have written.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What i would pull from this is has he exprianced life, been married had children worked with 1000s of people ran your own buisness have 3 of your own kids with grandkids & being in the 60,s age bracket so who would know thier own mind ,
after exprancing life i think i would , in a few years time he'll change his mind that many times because he's not dealing with the root cause of his problem , he is just masking it so does he really know . no of cause not. & nore will so till he knows / understands him self. & who he really is, Theres a number of repressed issues ether he does not understand or does not wont to. tho i get the feeling hes looking at the does not get on with girls / women . i wonder why .

...noeleena...

[Pythos]

The comments section in the "negative effects of crossdressing" starts off with the "wise" words of a real knuckle dragger.

I am seeing once again crossdressing being addressed like it is some kind of disease, that needs to be cured. This as I hope everyone here knows is BS.

I'll posit what I know is the real problem with crossdressing. IGNORANT, judgemental, and for the most part hateful people other than the crossdressers. Though we certainly do not help ourselves by hiding.

This guy is quite inexperienced as well as ill informed. He sounds like a young "go getter" that failed, and so he blames his hobby.

Silly person.

[Kate Lynn]

From what I read,the people responsible for this," Stop Crossdressing",should be the test subjects in the trials of the cure for stupidity.

[darla_g]

[SIZE=4]The site mentioned does not really bother me in the least. If I hadn't seen the link i would never have gone there. It just reminds me of these religious zealots that because they believe a certain way that everyone must share that conviction.

I did get a kick out of his line about masturbation zapping his energy. and of course that is CDing fault too. Why doesn't he just do a masturbation blog and be done with it.

I doubt this part is kept but here is what I posted on their blog:
[/SIZE][SIZE=4]How do we all know that the site isn’t from someone that just hates Crossdressing?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4]If you were truly a crossdresser why don’t you provide proof and publish some pictures of yourself? Right now you have zero credibility.[/SIZE]

[Staci G]

STOP!!!!!!!!!! OH PUULLLLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ,,, I am so loving dressing and yes I have energy after masturbating. Maybe he is doing it wrong to use up all that energy.

[Jenny Beth]

I browsed the site a bit, if he wants to quit for whatever reason more power to him. I do feel though that it is another lightning rod for those who think we "need help" and are morally wrong. I'll live in sin thank you very much, as Billy Joel once wrote: Sinners have much more fun.

[kimdl93]

ok, here's my 2 cents worth. I have no problem with people like this fellow, blogging thier opinions and ideas. Its a free country. Certainly he has every right to express his thoughts on why he CD'd, why he feels its detrimental, and how he proposes to quit.

That being said, I think he's a rather inadequate and misinformed source for anyone interested in or dealing with cross dressing or transgender issues. I hope he saves up enough energy to find some better use for his time.

[luludoll]

actually the more this debate pushes on the more traffic that site gets...

glancing the post about negative effects of crossdressing it would appear that this "entrepreneur" *barf is an inept adult incapable of controlling his/her own emotions, leading to a life with no sense of direction & blaming crossdressing for his/her short comings unable to come to terms with himself/herself bitter & misguided. *phew

All in all a fake with a fetish only to satisfy a sexual urge for lack of (options?) He needs God or a shrink not the internet.

Ugh this is cramping up my style, have funs debating~

[JulieK1980]

I say good luck to him, and hope he finds whatever on earth he is looking for. I doubt any success in stopping, but I think a lot of us went through a time where we actively tried to "cure" ourselves of this.

"When I crossdress, nine times out of ten it leads to masturbation. What I have realized is that masturbating ultimately drains you of energy. And a loss of energy means a loss of production and less income. For someone who aspires to be wealthy, I have to choose between continuing down the crossdressing path, or stop it completely and focus strictly on my goals."

-This is just simply uninformed. masturbation leads to a release of a number of neurotransmitters in the brain causing elation and more energy. Also note stopping, can lead to health risks. Particularly prostate issues later in life.

[Niya W]

Personally I think he is looking for some thing he will never find. He wants to know why his life is a failure .He is blaming CD for that.

[darla_g]

I think if i were to consider reasons i wished to stop CDing none would be ones that he has mentioned.

I know if I did it and couldn't derive any joy from looking into a mirror I would probably stop. If the compulsion to crossdress cost me a relationship or a job then I might consider stopping as well. Perhaps if like Niya suggests there are other problems then CDing becomes the scapegoat.

But seriously one of the things he mentions, cost doesn't have to be an issue, because just like GGs I might admire something, but know that it is too expensive or I have too many things similar so I don't get it.
and I have no serious gender issues & I know who i am and just happen to like to dress.... so what?

[KarenCDFL]

Wow!
Talk about a guilt complex!

To have taken the time to have created a site like this, you have a lot more issues than just cross dressing. I highly recommend that this person starts seeing a therapist before they "go off the deep end".

I wish this person luck.