So, who am I?

I am married to my wife of 28 years. For the last 5 years, I live in 2 mutually exclusive worlds, one as a genetic man and another as a genetic woman, cross dressing is not applicable in these 2 worlds, because I don't cross dress in either of these, sounds confusing? Let me explain.

In my male world as a loving husband and father of 2 wonderful children, I have no trace of wanting to be a woman and no one knows about "Jen" with one exception - I told my wife about Jen 10 months ago. In this world, I have a happy family (not sure now as my wife is not talking to me), we raised 2 wonderful children and both of them did very well academically and are doing well in their careers. I did well in my career and retired 5 years ago when I turned 50. My wife is also performing well in her career and is still working as she loves her job. We are almost a perfect family!

In my female world as "Jen", I have no trace of "I am a man", I am 100 percent passable, everyone in this world believes that I am a genetic girl (GG). I am lucky that I am petite, I am only 5 ft, 100 lbs and my waist is 27. I have a high pitch voice and therefore I can talk like a GG. Though I told my wife about Jen 10 months ago, she has never met Jen. In this world, Jen goes out every weekday, hang out with friends, most of them retirees and housewives. During the week, Jen dances, plays bowling, tennis, pool, hiking, shopping, watches movies, girl talks with other GG at cafes,...she is enjoying life!

I am facing a big decision now and I don't know how much time I have to make the decision. MY WIFE IS NOT ACCEPTING JEN AT ALL, PERIOD! She told me that she cannot have another lady in our house, and either Jen disappear or my wife will move on without me. You see, I am happy in both my male and female world and I cannot give up either one of them. I love my wife very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I even promised her that she will never see Jen and I will never mention Jen in front of her.

I have forwarded her with many articles about transgender and have written her many notes about my feeling, I also asked her to come to this site. So far, no progress, in fact, the situation is getting worst. These days, she cut me off from her world and never talk to me.

As much as I love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life, I have decided that I would just imaging that I have 'lost' my wive and live my life as a single person. Life is too short to be miserable. However, to respect her, Jen will never appear in front of her. She told me that we will not get a divorce for the sake of our kids.

So I will continue living in 2 separate worlds, but will I be happy? Will my wive be happy? I love her so much! I have thought many times about forgetting Jen's world all together and spend quality time with my wive for the rest of our life. In fact, I have done this twice since in the last 10 months but I failed and it has made the situation worst.

For all the GGs out here, will you help me to change my wife's position if it's still possible?

Everyone, if you were me, what would you do?

Sorry about such a long message, any feedback will be much appreciated, I am desperate!