Do you want to be a woman?

[Annie D]

When we confess our desire to wear women's clothing to our SO either before or after marriage or the relationship that we mutually agree to enter, one of the first questions we are asked is, "Do you want to be a woman?" As I remember my response, it was "Oh no, I am a man and want to remain one!" At least something pretty close to that. As I have read so many threads and replies, my answer seems to be fairly representative of the answers most of you have shared. But after all the years and all the miles we have all put in dressing and perfecting our desire to project a female image and be accepted as a woman, did we really answer the question truthfully?

For me the truthful answer should have been: "No, I don't want to go through surgery but if given the chance I would live as a female 24/7." How many of you have come to the same conclusion?

Some dress only occasionally, some dress every day, some travel as women, some want to work full-time as women, some share the desire to be accepted as a woman, and some are taking hormones, have undergone surgery for breast implants and some have made the final decision to undergo SRS.

I have come to the conclusion that with the family obligations and the years that have passed, that it is not financially feasible to have surgery but perhaps I would decide the live as Annie once I retire, the rest of my life.

Be honest! Given the chance, do you want to be a woman?

[RebeccaJ]

Its a great question Annie and I have asked myself many times what my real desires are and I can honestly say that I really have no desire to transition or to live 24/7. I like how I feel dressed and would love to be able to present as female however I also very much like my life as a man. I really want to be able to find the right balance that would provide me the satisfaction I seek while not interferring with my family or career.

[VioletJourney]

I do not want to go through SRS or to transition, but if given the chance I would start my life over from birth as a girl.

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

[Daphne Renee]

Would I like to have born a girl? right now i say yes but if I had would I still appreciate it? For now I would have to say no. I wouldnt want to go through SRS and the like. I like to dress but I cant say with any degree of certainty I would be any happier as a women. That being said I will just enjoy dressing when I can.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I like being both. I love my Lisa time, but I love my male time also. The only changes I would make in my body would be to remove my hair...

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Annie, You are right. One of the first questions we are asked is if we want to be a woman. I have had to respond to that question myself. My answer was and is the same. No, I do not wish to become a woman. I am very happy to be just a man that has a feminine side from time to time. I like being my SO's man and at times I like being her female friend.

[Rianna Humble]

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

No offense taken here. You are quite right, hormones and Surgery cannot make me into a woman. We take the hormones and undergo the surgery because we are women not in order to become something that we were not.

[Stephanie-L]

There are times that I fell I would go through the entire SRS ordeal to be a woman, other times I would simply like to live 24/7 as a woman without the SRS, though maybe with HRT. And other times I do enjoy being male, though those are few, and getting to be fewer. I know that i am not ready yet for anything permanent, but probably someday in the future...........Stephanie

[BreenaDion]

I do not want to go through SRS or to transition, but if given the chance I would start my life over from birth as a girl.

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

Violet sorry to say but we DONT take hormones and do surgery to make US feal like woman . We are woman from birth , unlike CD'ers who ARE MEN. Our minds are that of women and dont think and act like men, unless we have to hide from persecution, which is a heinous ordeal to undertake.

No offence taken .
Breena.

[Aprilrain]

I do not want to go through SRS or to transition, but if given the chance I would start my life over from birth as a girl.

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

None taken here but I will say that when you change your mind 10 or 20 years from now your REALLY going to be kicking yourself for not having taken those hormones at your current age (19ish?)

[*Vanessa*]

None taken here but I will say that when you change your mind 10 or 20 years from now your REALLY going to be kicking yourself for not having taken those hormones at your current age (19ish?)

Or 30 :/ yikes! - Totally agree with you April...

Do you want to be a woman? I just want and need to be me.

[Stephenie S]

Wow. Very impressive. Nine pages.

I just want you all to remember that femininity is a MALE construct. When you talk of pretty clothes, makeup, hairstyles, high heels and such you are not talking of femaleness. You are talking about a construct, a man made construct, of what MEN think women should be. This has NOTHING at all to do with being female.

And many, many of you are talking about the fact you would only want to be an ATTRACTIVE woman. "I'd rather be a guy than an ugly woman." Clearly you have no idea what being a woman is all about at all.

None the less, an interesting thread. Lot's of response. But this IS a crossdressing forum, isn't it?

S

[JasmineKCD36]

I think the more I think about this question the more and more I want to be. I already have a very feminine way about myself (at least my friends think so) and I just feel right when I'm dressed. My problem is just mental though in worrying about what everyone thinks of me and being accepted. Guess I need to get over that.

[Deborah]

I do not want to go through SRS or to transition, but if given the chance I would start my life over from birth as a girl.

No offense to the TS community, but I just don't feel that surgery and hormones could fully make me into a woman.

Sums up my feelings as well.

[kendra_gurl]

I would love to have been born female. I enjoy fully transforming myself into a passable female vision. I've done it 24/7 for a few days. But I like my masculinity too and would never want to not be able to be both as I am now so my answer is NO

[JavaJunkie]

That's been my wish since like day 1 lol. I don't see myself as having much masculinity in any case even when in drab. It's pretty much femme all the time lol. I've never really seen the point in me being a male anyways.

[ColleenCD]

If I were born in different times…I remember when people dressed with care and style, not with the disgust and self deprecation as many do today. Women took pride in their hair, face, clothes and shoes and accessories. They were beautiful inside and out. Of course, there was no support for CD’s, no internet, no groups or therapists who understood. We thought we were the only ones in the world with who wanted to wear clothes of the opposite sex. Renee’ Richards was the object of our fascination with her trailblazing courage.

Yet the question remains. Being born female at birth I would have been happy. 30 years back, without commitments, and if we had today’s modern medicine, legislation and support, then yes, I probably would have transitioned.

Now I have a great life, nice career, beautiful wife, and superb family. I enjoy my girl time as Colleen, but would not trade what I have for what could have been.

Colleen

[Mary Lee]

"Yes, I want to go through surgery but I have too many medical issues but if given the chance I would live as a female 24/7."
Should have done it 42 years ago when I got out of the military.
I am 64 and on SSD.

[Melissa Rose]

I would transition in a heartbeat. I have made the decision not to for personal reasons not related to the financial cost or physical pain. I'm quite happy with my current status so I'm not depressed or angry about not living full time as a woman. I would not miss my male side at all.

[girltoy]

When I first started dressing, it was for more personal indulgence. While I was married, my ex-wife was very understanding and supportive (and we've still remained close friends). I stopped for a while afterwards, but recently my ex-wife brought it up to me when she found (and returned!) a CD full of pictures we had taken together. We talked about it for awhile, and I commented that I wanted to further explore my feminine side and she told me "Do it! This time is yours!" I'm still uncertain exactly how far I want to take it, but I honestly believe that I would be perfectly happy living as a woman. Of course, I say that being perfectly happy living as a man who changes his clothes as soon as he gets home from school and work ... so what does that say about me?

[Julie Denier]

I have no desire to become a woman. Besides my physical attributes that would make passing nearly impossible, I really enjoy being a guy. I'm just having a lot of fun being a guy who, now and then, really enjoys his softer side and getting all dolled up.

[sally silverfox]

My dream is to seamlessly pass from one gender to the other at will.So cding is the closest to that dream I can come.Though barely passable on the best of days as I observe GGs around me on my best days I look as good and even better than many of them-IMHO.Given the fact that so many women-not all-seem to not make any effort to dress and yes act feminine in the traditional sense makes us appear more as women ..I realize men have been and often are very chauvinistic, still not all traditional women felt oppressed and relished their role particularly if given equal status with regard to wages,responsibility etc while still dressing and acting as a woman.I suppose I'll get heat for this but remember I grew up with Leave It To Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet.My mother always appeared very ladylike and dressed acordingly.I guess thats where I got my love of fem and all that goes with it.Would I like to be a woman?Maybe but since it's not possible I'll settle for second best.

[Billie Jean]

My dream is to seamlessly pass from one gender to the other at will.So cding is the closest to that dream I can come.Though barely passable on the best of days as I observe GGs around me on my best days I look as good and even better than many of them-IMHO.Given the fact that so many women-not all-seem to not make any effort to dress and yes act feminine in the traditional sense makes us appear more as women ..I realize men have been and often are very chauvinistic, still not all traditional women felt oppressed and relished their role particularly if given equal status with regard to wages,responsibility etc while still dressing and acting as a woman.I suppose I'll get heat for this but remember I grew up with Leave It To Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet.My mother always appeared very ladylike and dressed acordingly.I guess thats where I got my love of fem and all that goes with it.Would I like to be a woman?Maybe but since it's not possible I'll settle for second best.

I too would like to change gender at will. I really don't think I would like to experience their biological functions. I would like to have sex as a woman as their orgasms seem to be way better than ours but then the grass alway looks greener on the other side of the fence. I still think it would be nice to choose which gender I was for the given time. This weekend we buried a close friend and I would have liked to have worn a black dress and hose for the funeral. I wish I could be as beautiful and lady like as she was. Billie Jean

[Jennifer in CO]

Having lived full time as a woman for close to 5 years 30 years ago I can honestly say I miss it. Admittedly it was a different time in my life but I was married then (and to this day to the same woman) and so sometimes I think living as a woman and being a woman would have been two different things.

Jenn

[TGMarla]

The last time my wife asked me that, I answered as honestly as I could without causing great pain to her. Because honestly, the answer is that I would have been happy to have been born female, but I am unwilling to undergo transition and surgery to achieve that. I am unwilling to cause such great pain to myself and my loved ones in order to achieve what may be only a pipe dream. And the best thing in my life is the privilege I enjoy of being able to be a good husband to my dear wife. Do I wish I was a woman? Yes. Do I want to take drastic measures to become a woman? No.

I seriously cannot imagine what pain it would cause to my brother, my mother, my sister, my wife, and my good friends were I to suddenly undergo transition. I'd lose nearly everything I hold dear to me, and the end result would not nearly justify all of the wreckage it would leave in its wake.