Wife won't let me shave my chest...Help!

[RobinCA]

Hello everyone, it's Robin here. I have been crossdressing for my wife off and on for 8 years. I have shaven my legs and she loves it. The problem is, That I want to shave my chest and stomach and my wife is against it. I had done it once in the past and she freaked out. She loves my chest hair but I just dont feel sexy and feminine in my womens lingerie with hair sprouting out all over. I love the fact that she is so supportive and accepting of my desires, I just need some help on how to convince her that I really would like to shave the chest to feel like the woman inside. Any comments would be helpful, thank you.

Robin.

[JamieTG]

Most women I know love a hairy chest. She is attracted to the masculinity of it. She still wants part of you to look like a man. A marriage requires compromise and if she lets you keep your legs shaved, I would be thankful of that. She may never change her mind about the chest hair and if you shave it anyway against her objections, you can expect trouble.

[RADER]

Yes; My wife loves my chest hair, and I have a bumper crop of it. She saids she loves to run
her fingers through it, and she does often while we are in bed. She is OK with my dressing,
as long as I do not touch HER CHEST HAIR.
I go with the flow as it where; a small price to pay for the approval from your wife to dress the
way you want to, even a nightie to bed.
Rader

[BillieJoEllen]

On this I'd have to agree with Rader. Since you are very fortunate to have a supportive spouse go with the compromise.

[DanielleLee]

Agree with the others here. You have a supportive wife. Don't go screwing it up, by going outside the boundaries. Even if you and your spouse do not have any "official" boundaries... it sounds like this may be one of your wifes.

If you still feel that strongly however... you may ask if she would comprimise and allow you to trim the chest hair down. Weedwhacking as I call it...

If you are married, then I'm sure you already know... Is about respect of and comprimise with, our wives and their opinions.

DL

[Emily Ann Brown]

Come on girls.......it comes down to how much do you love your wife. Chest hair is a small price to paid for a happy and supportive wife. Those of us who lost wives because of who we are think your head is up your @*&%*#!

Em

[Debra Russell]

I initially trimmed my chest hair to keep it from tickling my chin in bed at night -- my wife understood "trim" -- she also liked to run her fingers through it, then I got a lower cut blouse I wanted to wear and shaved it -- she didn't like it and so stated but no deal breaker although now she very seldom ever touches my chest anymore. I will probably let it grow seasonally!!

[Cheryl T]

I'm lucky. My spouse is very supportive and doesn't mind that I am shaved COMPLETELY. She may miss the hair...but she doesn't say anything, except that she misses my mustache. I don't miss any of the hair and never did like it. I can't imagine going back to being hairy again....yuck!

[DonnaT]

I agree with the others. If she doesn't want you to shave because she likes the chest hair, then let it be. It's the same way with my wife and me.

[darla_g]

now that i've gotten a bit older my chest sprouts all these whitish hairs I hate it! i get rid of them for an entirely differerernt reason!

Back in the day i would come to some sort of compromise. I would usually take the summer off from CDing and let my leg hair and chest hair grow. Rest of the time it was my choice. Don't like pubic hair much either.

[RenneB]

I don't have much to add to this one, 'cept that you could always stand too close to the camp fire one night and..... Okay, bad idea, but that's how I've explained my lack of leg hair.... Never had chest hair, but I would give my left .... for a supportive SO.

Renne....

[Anne2345]

Hi Robin! I agree with the majority of the responses. Any CDer who has an accepting spouse should consider herself fortunate. There are plenty of stories on this forum by members who are less fortunate that do not have accepting SOs. And marriage, obviously, is a partnership. Regardless of any given issue, there is give and take, and compromise. Push too far and it will breed resentment or rejection. My advice is to follow her wishes, and enjoy the fortune you have. That is not to say that one day she may not let you shave your chest. Through my own experience with my wife, the more comfortable she has become with my CDing over the years, the more I have been able to do. The important thing is that I was patient and understanding of her needs and feelings. As a result, for lack of a better word, I have been "rewarded" for such patience and understanding through her eventual acceptance of things I want to do, such as shaving. In your case, she may not ever be comfortable with this particular desire of yours, but maybe she will. Just hang in there, do not be unreasonable, and see what happens. Either way, you have a great thing going with your wife, and enjoy your relationship for what it is - an accepting and loving partnership!

[StarrOfDelite]

I would suggest that if you love her then you shouldn't press the issue. Based on what I've read on this forum and others, women who accept crossdressing are rarer than hen's teeth. I agree with your aesthetic sensibility, but successful marriages are based upon compromise.

[RobinCA]

Thank you all for answering the call as it were. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. I am very lucky to have a supporting wife and cherish her for it. I would never push it as you all say, I respect her opinion. I guess what I was really asking about was how to explain the underlying feelings and desires to her. If it's a deal breaker I wouldn't dream of doing it, was just hopeful to get some insight on how to possibly sway her opinion. I love and respect her and if she won't budge, no problem. Hoping she will though

[Sara Jessica]

I have been crossdressing for my wife off and on for 8 years.

For your wife??? That's a new one!!!

[darla_g]

you could always parade in front of her in a bra with your hairy chest and say "see this looks terrible!" . she may have to agree with you and finally relent.

[Shadeauxmarie]

I think we push our wives too much sometimes. You have to accept the agreed upon boundaries. I, for one, would love to be able to keep my legs smooth, much less my chest, back and arms.

Respect the one you love my respecting her boundaries.

[vetobob9]

If your chest is extremely hairy, and you aren't shaving it, that unhygienic and unsanitary.
But if you only have a little bit of hair (I have none), then it shouldn't be an issue.
On the other hand,

It's your body to do with as you please. That's what they tell us when they decide to have an abortion or to sleep with their coworkers or the guy down the street.
My point is that if women have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies, then men have the same right.

If you can't shave your chest, then why should she be allowed to shave her legs or her armpits? Control over one' own body applies equally to both men and women.

[Xandria]

my ex hated the stubble on my chest so she would never snuggle with me after a few days of shaving.. i rarely ever shave my chest..

[DanielleLee]

If your chest is extremely hairy, and you aren't shaving it, that unhygienic and unsanitary.
But if you only have a little bit of hair (I have none), then it shouldn't be an issue.
On the other hand,

It's your body to do with as you please. That's what they tell us when they decide to have an abortion or to sleep with their coworkers or the guy down the street.
My point is that if women have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies, then men have the same right.

If you can't shave your chest, then why should she be allowed to shave her legs or her armpits? Control over one' own body applies equally to both men and women.

LOL... comparing abortion with improving your feminine appearance....

I was waiting for the "it's your body" demographic to rise up... Okay, I get what you are saying and would agree that in most normal situations, you are absolutely correct... however for those of us men, who are married crossdressers... it's not quite that simple. Our wives married men and those wives most often expect us, to continue to be the men they married.

If that picture of male-dom includes us with body hair, then so be it. That's a boundary husbands need to be respect. For most crossdressers... they're not shaving their chest because it's what they want, but rather because they want to appear more feminine.

Unhygenic and unsanitary... body wash seems to keep my hair clean just fine....

DL

[2SpeedTranny]

Yet I wonder how many of you will tell your wife to lose weight, because she's not exactly the lithe woman you married!

It seems selfish to me for a spouse to require something of their partner that makes them unhappy.

And lastly... for all the talk of holy matrimony and compromise... if your marriage hangs on whether or not you have chest hair, you ain't got one, reckon. I don't believe anyone is suggesting that extreme, but it sounds like it sometimes.

[ClaireClark]

I agree with 2SpeedTranny- your "wife won't let you"? I assume she took the same marriage vows as you - all that stuff about for better or for worse? Cyclists and swimmers shave, and they or better ("stronger, more real") men then we will ever be, or want to be. If she loves you, what difference will a hairy chest make?

Claire

[Stacy L]

Well, you could compromise and only shave 1/2 of your chest.

[chelle]

Lucky that I never had much chest hair and keeping it shaved is not very noticable. My wife does not mind. I heard several of the female teachers at school talking about hair on men and not one of them said they liked it. Most said they usually look the other way because they didn't like the chest hair or on back or showing above the shirt in any way.
Chelle

[satin n lace]

I'v been shaving my chest for about 15years way before i even met my wife i just can't stand hair on my chest and stomach.I do it because it just looks better and feels better.My wife hates it if i dont shave for about a week or two and now that she knows i shave a lot more offen now since i walk around the house wearing lingerie, like every night.