Came out to my mum

[Kokoro]

I decided, on the whim of the moment, to tell my mum that I am trans.

I had no real intention of telling her but for some reason after having a normal chat with her and sensing she was in a good mood to tell her. She listened to what I had to say and asked a few questions and I explained to her that this would most likely result in going through transition. Though she wasn't over the moon, she was certainly not condemning either and was very accepting. She said it would take a lot of getting used to and may feel a little embarrassed by it, especially when talking to other people who know about me, but she is accepting of it and won't do anything crazy like disown me or throw me out of the house. The conversation ended with the immortal words: 'It doesn't matter what you are, you'll always be my son... or daughter!'

So I'm pretty pleased right now. Not really ecstatic, but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders knowing that I have my mums support as I go into transition.

Now I only need to tell my dad who will probably be quite a bit more difficult and less accepting. My mum suggests I wait until they are back from holiday and she'll approach him first. He's quite the macho guy where crossdressers and gays are considered 'puffs' though around my mum he does have a rather gentle side. I'll keep you updated.

[Leanne2]

Good for you Kokoro! By the way, where did you come up with your name? Leanne

[KimMcNelis]

Congrat's, Kokoro! I know that when I told my parents (lo', those many moons ago ;-) it was a big relief... and I was worried about how my dad would take it too. My mom (mum) didn't even know for sure how he'd be. Hopefully he'll realize you are his child either way, and show love and support for you. Good luck!

[Ciel]

FYI: Kokoro - japanese term for "Heart". i am happy for you!

[Aprilrain]

For me this was by far the biggest hurtle to overcome as far as coming out was concerned. Good luck with your dad. Don't be surprised by the full range of emotions that you and your parents are likely to feel over the next few weeks. On hormones yet? consider stocking up on tissue. lol

[Melody Moore]

She said it would take a lot of getting used to and may feel a little embarrassed by it, especially when talking to other people who know about me, but she is accepting of it and won't do anything crazy like disown me or throw me out of the house. The conversation ended with the immortal words: 'It doesn't matter what you are, you'll always be my son... or daughter!'

Hi Kokoro, you should be very pleased, especially since she is going to be your advocate when it comes to dealing with
your father. Unfortunately for me, both my parents are divorced & live a long way from each other & have no contact
with each other. So even if I could get one parent on my side, it's not going to help because they don't talk to each other.

You also nailed the very reason why I think my own mother isn't accepting of my decision, for years she has told
everyone she has a son & daughter, but the reality is she has 2 daughters & doesn't want to deal with having
to explain things to other people who might already know about me as her 'son'. So I have been told that I have
to stay away or she said she will call the police if I show up at her place. Little does she realise that there is a
few people who live in the same town that already know about me as a female. One of those people is a 90 year
young lady who is the mother of one of my best friends & she fully understands & accept me as a female. This
sprightly 'young' lady wants to go around to my mother's place & have a few words to my mother about how she
has been treating me, but I told her not to because I thought that might just make things worse if she did that.

However i am thinking about just turning up on my mother's doorstep one day with the old lady with me, just to
make sure there isn't any lies & crap with the police if my mother decides to call & involve them in our personal
issues. But I am not going to do this until she has been given fair opportunity to come to terms with everything.

So I am not planning on doing anything until she has had 12 months to absorb what is going on. Hopefully she
will come to her senses & realises that this does not change the fact that I still am her child regardless of what
gender, sex or name I use now. She has to realise that this should make no difference to her friends that know
that she once had a son, but now has a daughter instead. I am absolutely positive that if she just tells others
the truth about how she had given birth to an intersexed child & that they made the wrong decision about my
sex then others should be understanding & accepting. I think my mother feels very guilty & ashamed about her
past decisions & this is the main thing I have to some how try & help get my mother to deal with now. Life can
be really complex, so I am glad that things are going smoother for you, because this is a tough one to deal with.

[Jay Cee]

Very happy for you, Kokoro. That took no small amount of courage.