Yet Another "The Talk"Talk part two

[Gocaps14]

My wife and I have a long history with my dressing. I first came out to her before we married by dropping tou and revealing my self in her underwear. In that context and time it was exciting for both of us. As time went on however, her attitude changed. I believe she tried to bne supportive but I believe I was too enthusiastic. About 1q0 years ago I told her that I wanted to underdress 24/7, except maybe to work. She was not thrilled but laid out some ground rules, which I followed, and did not underdress 24/7. So as time went on, I believed things were ok, I was doing what was asked of me and things were not talked about I purged everything except for 2 panties, which she found one day. She didn't say anything until we had a fight, basicly she was holding everything in until the fight just brought that had found them and was not happy. Well life continued on for several months until we had a big blowout. I totally lost my coo, yellingh at her, smaking the bed repeatedly in anger. Please know I would never hit anyone. The fight centered on different things for each of us, for her she felt I was violently defendiing my dressing. She was telling me she thoughtit was disgusting, I was hearing she thought I was disgusting. Well, the other day we had a very nice talk about other relationship issues, first on in many years. I forgot to mention that about 3 months after the big blowout I went to my wife and told her that I no longer wanted to dress. Her general attitude is supportive, it is not to be dicussed. We still have a lot of very sereious issuesin our lives, as does eveeryone, but it is at a point where we need to talk about it. But how is talking about dressing going to help our relationship, I think she has made her point very clear, whereas I haven't so much. So I am going to tell things she already knows and doesn't want to hear about? I do not believe she is going to open up about anything, she has already said it, and I doin't believve I am going to change her mind. I so much want her to love me for who I am, all of me, and share all of my life with her. But that doesn't seem to be the case, after all I have said it myself over and over, enjoy what time I have to be myself and don't let dressing be so important as to negatively affect my family. But I am thinking that part is too late.....

[Gocaps14]

I should have re-read my post before I posted, please forgive my spelling errors. Mostly understand that she is NOT supportive of my dressing, in any way. She just wants to forget about it.

[Daphne Renee]

I am sorry you and your wife had a big fight. I really dont know what to say. I think honest open communication is best. Perhaps some counseling would help. You both are going to have to decide how important this is. I hope you find a way to work through it.

[Gillian Gigs]

I am a strong supporter of communication, and compromise in a marriage. To often communication is about everything, except the Elephant in the room. That needs to be talked about also. You need to get to the bottom of it with your SO, and find out the root of her lack of support. Fear and rejection are strong influences in both your lifes, and you need to see both of your prospectives to understand where each of you are coming from. The midst of an arguement is not that time, this issue needs to be discussed in a cool and intelligent way, with calm heads. It is amasing what a little love and understanding of the other person can do.

[ornurse781]

I can not tell my wife that I like to dress, she would not understand at all and probably divorce me if she knew. I just love the freedom of womens clothes, under garments, puttimg on a pretty face, and I can not share that with anyone but this group. I am fairly new to fully dressing so I am a work in progress. Anyone out there in the Boston area that can help me or talk to me I would appreciate it. Thank you for listening

[Cynthia Anne]

It's sad that you must go through this as many of us have (myself included)! Many times it ends in devorce! I hope you're not another satisic! There's no doubt she loves you! Working this out is not easy but working together is the best way! Perhaps council could help! The main thing is be supportive on your part! Remember harsh words are like adding gasoline to a fire!

[Pythos]

So have you laid out ground rules for those things she does you don't like?

I read about this kinda thing too often, and it is not always dealing with CDing, where the wife lays out "ground rules" to the husband, but my god he tries to do the same to her, and he is a right jerk, and horrible and so on.

The op sounds like they may have not really been clear what was going on. Oh and revealing it to her by dropping trou and revealing HER underwear....ouch. Yea she may have thought it cute...but still. Not good form.

She may be getting bad info from other sources, like crossdresserwives.com, which from what I understand is full of mean spirited people (have not gone there, and don't really want to)

[Gocaps14]

I believe a few things; While I did obey the rules, there was no doubt where my pleasures lay and I could have been even more discreet. I think she feels I did not repect her wishes, although she respected my wish.And I also feel that she believes I can and should turn the switch off. We have a daughter, and I thinkshe wants a "normal" family. I actually want that as well. After the big blowout, she kept telling me that she would be hypocritical if she didn't let me be myself, as she is VERY supportive of openly gay people. So I have tried to squash my desires, but to no avail.Leading to my desire to continue productive talking, but again I feel it will make me feel better but the relationship worse. I have passed up an opportunity today, our 20th wedding anniversary is tomorrow, I will wait.

[Pythos]

Forget about the "normal family" some of the worst families I have heard of have been "normal".

[Gocaps14]

As you may have read on my posts recently, I have struggled with my 20 y.ear marrige. I came out to my wife no less than 3 times, each with less acceptance than before. This led up to an, "I don't do that anymore," talk and me going into hiding. Well lately, motivated by a good, yet unrelated talk, I have felt the need to come out again and wondered what the affects would be. I have advocated not harming others with my dressing.Today I have decided not to come out again, for my wifes health. She has a thyroid condition, she must be a stress free as possible and Ui must cxontribute to her gfood health. So for now, I remain tight lipped

[Crystal Rose]

At least you have the values right. I can understand the need to talk but to decide not to in an effort to take care of those you love, is love.

[Cynthia Anne]

You go girl! I can see that you are a caring and loving person! Hoping the best for you and yours!, Hugs! Cynthia,