[SIZE="2"]Virility – that is so MALE! Or is it?
I’ve been working (on and off) on a thread about masculine characteristics for the past month, but I keep thinking that this topic would anger some members – out in the world I can’t help but notice unconscious displays of masculinity everywhere I look, making a note to myself to “not do that.” I may be alone in this constant pruning of one’s maleness, so why regurgitate my observations and findings to the MtF membership? I mean, I’m SUPPOSED to be “a quiet girl,” correct?
I’m lifting this out of context, but the other night on TV a male narrator was admiring a painted portrait of a bearded gentleman, and he said, “His whiskers indicate his virility.” I started to think about this curious word, and the notion of being virile, as it relates to MtF crossdressing. When you think of virility, the word “manliness” may immediately come to mind, along with other terms like potency, vigor, forcefulness, ruggedness, and so forth. Masculinity implies virility, and, for a boy, there are many masculine role models we are told (or taught) to emulate. I assume that a male is supposed to project a certain virility to attract females, all with an aye towards procreation and fulfilling a pre-determined path through life...
OK, so what happens to virility when a man chooses to dress as a woman? If he is virile to begin with, does he tuck this virility away with the rest of his “equipment,” and step away from his male role in society, i.e. what is expected of him? I know that some of us, comfortable with our crossdressing, have no problem with issues of virility, but I get the feeling that crossdressers who are relatively new to this may struggle with the idea of turning one’s back on virility and suffering any imaginary consequences. It may seem like a crime to undermine attractiveness to the other gender (or anyone, for that matter), and consciously do things that are contrary to the programming you received (based on your gender), but this swimming against the tide grows on you, believe me...
Effeminacy is the opposite of virility, and it follows that impotency is an antonym for potency. If we dress, emulate, act like, walk like, talk like, or try to actually be women, we are the unabashed practitioners of effeminacy. It does NOT mean we are impotent simply because we dress a certain way, but this unfair denouncement may be at the heart of society’s lack of understanding in regards to crossdressing – you’re supposed to be virile, and thus potent (and useful), yet you’re actively turning away from your societal responsibilities by dressing as a woman. Of course, you can be a paragon of virility and potency AND dress as a woman, but try explaining that one...
However, females can be just as virile as males, since virility means “physical maturity and strength of an adult male or female.” This adjusted definition never used to appear in the tomes, but it’s there now, in the 21st century. There is a term called womanliness, akin to manliness, and it’s all about virility. This means that femininity is GOOD, but effeminacy is BAD – it all makes me dizzy! What if you, as an MtF crossdresser, choose to emulate an aggressive, forceful, strong, potent femininity? Are you still affecting a type of effeminacy? Is any embracement of feminine characteristics to be censured out of hand (and out of mind), simply because we are being naughty (not BAD) boys? BTW, did you know that “virile” can mean “well-dressed?”
Since virility is supposed to denote potency, l wish to play on the word “potent” and turn expectation on its collective ear. Potent can mean effective, and potency is the capacity for development, so aren’t we realizing our latent potential by dressing in women’s clothing? As drab males we have unrealized desires, and our “development” in this case leads us away from the constrictive masculine trappings that enclose us. We can thus achieve our potential as human beings, embrace the effeminacy that attracts us and still remain virile, at least to ourselves. Virility is a desirable human characteristic, or at least that’s what we’ve been TOLD. I wish you well in your ongoing viripotency, if that happens to be your thing...
Getting back to the idea of facial hair being a visual indication of one’s virility, I guess that makes me not virile, since I am always clean-shaven. This means I must be effeminate – HOORAY! Maybe a lack of male body hair, or constant removal of same, is a visual indication of effeminacy. In that case, I’m getting something very meaningful across, but is anyone paying attention?
What do you think about this idea of virility, male or female, or, more specifically, what do you do with your manliness when you crossdress?
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