coming out to freind

[manemami]

hi girls yesterday i have dcided that i will open with my freind we have had a drinks party during it i have explained him that i am a crossdrer and want to share that secret to him he laughed at me saying he cant belive, then we had dinner and gone to his flat where i have got undressed and shown him my feminine body totally waxed with red panty i have offered him body to to body contact but he refused saying though i am looking good but he is not prepared mentally to do that i have not forced him but he got shocked looking at my desire tried to explain me to avoid such fantasies and become straight, i explained him my desire is geniune and need to fulfilled by my closest person. he rejected the idea with kindness towards me we slept on single bed keeping 1' distance i was very anxious to touch my body with his but waited for his response but he kept calm. my question is it mentaly restriction or me not being able to arouse him this was my second effort though first with another close freind our freindship is intact i think i should stop my desires, pl help me way out as in india its not easy.

[Felicity71]

LOL - omg I think you maybe on the wrong forum.

[boardpuppy]

If you look good as a women, enjoy dressing as a women and want to live as a women then you are in the right forum. As far as your friend, my last one I tried to share myself with rejected me and that was a long time ago. You will find a soul mate and when that happens, you will be exstatic.

Alice

[Aprilrain]

If you look good as a women, enjoy dressing as a women and want to live as a women then you are in the right forum. As far as your friend, my last one I tried to share myself with rejected me and that was a long time ago. You will find a soul mate and when that happens, you will be exstatic.

Alice

Do you have to fulfill all three requirements Alice because I know a lot of woman genetic and otherwise who fall short of the first two.

Manemami, I'm a bit confused. The whole thing seems extremely overwhelming for your friend because it sounds like you were not presenting as female and that you just told him you like to CD then you bared all to this guy. I think its safe to say that if he has never seen you as a female before and he is not gay then he wouldn't be interested in having sex with you. So is this about having sex with guys or do you want to transition and live your life as a woman? These are two different things. Lots of girls transition and then date strait guys and lots of guys are in to "trannys" but what you described sounds like a purely gay experience.

[boardpuppy]

No April, when I read Manemami's post that is what popped into my head. As for myself there is no way I pass as a women, I am alot more confortable in women clothing and as for living as a women, today that is a dream. However, todays dreams are tomarrows reality. One day at a time and each day something else falls into place and I understand more and more.

[Melody Moore]

LOL - omg I think you maybe on the wrong forum.

Most definitely, I have read quite a few of Manemami's post & he identifies as a cross-dresser - not transsexual.

If you look good as a women

And there is the problem, I don't imagine any 'woman' with a beard looks very attractive to even the most desperate
of straight guys. Manemami has mentioned previously that his family requires him to keep his beard. So if his friend
was straight then it's no wonder he felt uncomfortable. I think most straight guys would run a mile after that type
of indecent proposal.

The whole thing seems extremely overwhelming for your friend because it sounds like you were not presenting as female and that you just told him you like to CD then you bared all to this guy. I think its safe to say that if he has never seen you as a female before and he is not gay then he wouldn't be interested in having sex with you. So is this about having sex with guys or do you want to transition and live your life as a woman? These are two different things. Lots of girls transition and then date strait guys and lots of guys are in to "trannys" but what you described sounds like a purely gay experience.

I think you pretty much nailed it right on the head here April. I know the OP has stated previously that
God has blessed him with a female body, but what I find interesting is his claims to be on natural HRT
using herbals, fenugreek I think it was if my memory serves me correctly. The OP might be suffering
from GID, however I know he also said that he was married & his wife doesn't approve of cross-dressing
& asked him apparently if he wanted to be a 'eunuch'. So I am confused if this person has a desire to be
a transsexual female or if they are just a cross-dresser. In most of his posts he refers to himself as a CD.

Personally I think the OP should find a gender therapist or psychologist & explore his feelings further to
find out where he really fits into the transgender spectrum, but this post definitely sounds more like he
suffers from transvestic fetishism, more so than a post from someone who is a transsexual & desires to
fully transition & become a woman. That is just my 2 cents worth.

[manemami]

i am agreed with you that i need a therapist but in a orthodox city like Pune in india it is very difficult to explain these things to therapist are there any questionary who can decide my inclination, the facts are i enjoy being straight sex, i enjoy posing as women, i like to find what is test of oral & AF sex with male it is just came out of my mind and i am a real tester who wants to test all the things related to sex with no bondage, even i am more eager to know how to deal with the sensitive partners without harming there feelings.

[Melody Moore]

i am agreed with you that i need a therapist but in a orthodox city like Pune in india it is very difficult to explain these things to therapist are there any questionary who can decide my inclination, the facts are i enjoy being straight sex, i enjoy posing as women, i like to find what is test of oral & AF sex with male it is just came out of my mind and i am a real tester who wants to test all the things related to sex with no bondage, even i am more eager to know how to deal with the sensitive partners without harming there feelings.

Well Manemami, after that post it is easy to see that you are a cross-dresser which is fine, but these sorts of
posts don't really belong over in the transsexual section, but I see the mods moved it & sorted that problem out.

Obviously there are a lot of sexual fetishes associated with your cross-dressing desires, while transvestic fetishism
is sometimes found in some transsexuals, but it's not really a good reason to start taking life-changing cross-sex
hormones which will change many things, including your ability to function as a male. I think also you should be very
careful messing around with herbal treatments. Because what these companies that are marketing this crap won't
tell you that there are many of these herbal remedies that contain the phytoestrogens you are looking for can have
an adverse & very dangerous effect on your overall health. Because they are not refined, they often contain other
chemicals which are no good for you. The results of such herbal treatments vary a lot, some people get some
feminisation effects while many others don't. What they don't realise is they are playing a very dangerous game
of Russian Roulette because there is no base-lines or correct dosage levels set for a lot of these products. Also
your artificial hormone regime is not monitored through regular blood tests & analysed by a qualified endocrinologist.

My advice is always do thorough research into the side effects of any drug you are thinking about taking & never
assume that 'natural herbal remedies' are safe. Most are commonly referred to as 'snake oil' type treatments even
by medical professionals.

[CatAttack]

I think people are getting sidetracked from the original subject of this thread..

Anyways, on topic:
I don't know how people interact with each other in India, but I assume that it can't be too different from people anywhere else in the world. That is NOT the way you come out to a friend!! That is a super weird thing to do. I know that is kind of harsh to say, but seriously. How did you expect him to react? First you tell him that you are a crossdresser, which is something huge in itself that he will have to wrap his mind over, which will take some time. But then you immediately try to initiate intimate sexual contact with him. I mean, he is your friend you know? And he knows you as a guy. In my opinion, this is like one step below doing it with a sibling. But yeah, that is just my opinion.. anyways, I hope you find where on the gender identity issue spectrum you are and the answers you are looking for.

Perhaps you could take it slower next time and don't try to get it on with a friend.. especially one who knows you as a guy and has no clue about your CDing

[Gerrijerry]

First of all you are married. Being with anyone else then your wife is cheating and wrong. You can be gay a CD or transexual that is really not the problem. You must first respect the feelings of others and your family comes first. You have shown no respect to your family or friend. Just did what you wanted with out any regard for how that will effect others.

[manemami]

hi girls thanks for sharing your feelings and i respect your suggestions i just taken a online test and found my TS nature found as AUTOGENEPHILIC you can see them now i have started taking information about it and will not have identity crisis
S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: 335, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous
Your appearance is Masculine
Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.
You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.
You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.
You indicated your were born Male.
ANALYSIS:
Male to Female possible Transsexual
NOTES:
• Your answers indicate you have altered your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex.
• Your answers indicate you may be AUTOGYNEPHILIC. Your answers indicate you may fit the following type(s):
o Physiologic: arousal from the idea of having opposite sex physiology. This does not necessarily mean you WANT the physiology of the opposite sex, you just find the IDEA of it exciting.

[Aprilrain]

Please do not take those on line tests seriously, there is no test for transsexualism or really any other gender variant behavior.
You say you live in a very unaccepting place but have you actually tried to speak with a therapist? You might be surprised.

Personally I wouldn't bother with the herbs they are a waste of time if for no other reason than that even if you are getting the proper dose of estrogen, which I seriously doubt, your still not taking an anti androgen. Even pharmaceutical estrogen is next to useless without an anti androgen, or the dose needs to be dangerously high.

Next time you decide to "come out" about cross dressing you may want to keep it at that. Personally I think your lucky you didn't get beat up! Thankfully your friend sounds like a nonviolent person.

[Cynthia Anne]

Coming out to a friend can be risky! Coming on to one is inviting trouble! Learning by your mistakes can be a hard lession! Hugs!

[Konfused]

Were I in your friend's shoes, I definitely would have asked you to leave after you did that. Not because I don't accept you for who you are, but because you would have made me extremely uncomfortable. I'm totally cool with crossdressing and I'm totally cool with gay guys, but ultimately I'm not gay and any guy that comes onto me is met with a polite "no", unless they are persistent (as you have been) and then they will receive a much less warm response.