Losing friends and relatives

[Noortje]

"If a friend or relative doesn't like it, that's their problem. If they don't want me in their life because of it, then unfortunately that's the best answer."

(I pulled this quote from another thread, as an example.)

Phrases like these get thrown around here quite a lot. It sounds courageous, but I wonder how true it is. It has not happened to me (yet?), but it seems to me that the emotional impact of being rejected by someone you love should not be taken so lightly.

Is there anyone here with experience in this matter? Of those of you who came out, how many actually lost someone? How did it feel? Did you really just "make new friends"?

[Cynthia Anne]

I can tell you from experience that 'losing' loved ones over 'this' is devastateing to say the least! To say it's there problem is true but most importantly it is your problem! I can not see it possible to take this lightly! Time does not heal it! Hugs!

[SusanLCD]

And, once the genie is out of the bottle, you can't put it back in. No wonder so many of us are unwilling to make that leap.

[Noortje]

I can tell you from experience that 'losing' loved ones over 'this' is devastateing to say the least! To say it's there problem is true but most importantly it is your problem! I can not see it possible to take this lightly! Time does not heal it! Hugs!

That's the exact opposite of what your tag line says... Are we collectively misrepresenting this issue on this forum? Perhaps we are trying to talk some courage into ourselves?

[sherri]

I respect the courage of TSs who make the leap to fulltime transition, and probably if I'd come to this when I was very young, I might have made that very choice, but for people who come to it later on, after they have established careers and families and a network of friends, I have no respect for those who leave shattered lives, relationships and livellihoods in their wake. For the vast majority of us, there ARE things more important that putting on a skirt. For me, it's not an either-or proposition -- I intend to have both by exercising a little judgement, discretion, compassion and balance in my life.

[Amy Lynn3]

I have not lost anyone to cding, but I can say this.....I will do whatever it takes to mend a friendship, even to the point of taking the blame, even if I felt I was right. It works for me. Some people I only have a limited friendship, but that is okay, because we are still friends.

[Sara Jessica]

"If a friend or relative doesn't like it, that's their problem. If they don't want me in their life because of it, then unfortunately that's the best answer."

Such bravado may be genuine and while it may be healthy to attempt to adopt such a mentality, it's best one prepares for the worst and hopes for the best when it comes to disclosure to others. You don't know what YOUR reaction will be to loss. And I can tell you first hand that even though I haven't experienced such loss when it comes to disclosure, I have seen it change a lifelong relationship for the worse. I blew up someone's perfect image of me, someone who I love dearly, and some of the hurtful things that have been thrown my way since have been devastating. I understand the genie cannot be put back in the bottle but heaven knows I wish she could.

...but for people who come to it later on, after they have established careers and families and a network of friends, I have no respect for those who leave shattered lives, relationships and livellihoods in their wake.

Fortunately, for those who make such decisions, your opinion of them or respect for what they do matters little, if any.

Such decisions are not made lightly but you might consider the turmoil which goes on under the surface before making such a blanket comment disrespecting many who are forced to make what is likely the most difficult decision of their lives.

[Angie G]

When I told my wife I was lucky she is good with it And that's all I need. No one else needs to know family or friends. I would not want to lose family or friend over the need for me to let them know I dress.
Angie

[suchacutie]

I'm sure we've all been in a position where an issue had become so overwhelming that we just didn't care anymore about HOW the issue was resolved, all we cared about was that it WAS resolved so we could move on.

That is how I view the quote that started this thread. This is the quote one says when we are at that "last straw" and just can't stand the way things are anymore. "Things" might be worse, but at least the "issue" would be ended and life would move on in a known manner.

Despiration can drive any of us to this extreme.

tina

[Rianna Humble]

I respect the courage of TSs who make the leap to fulltime transition, and probably if I'd come to this when I was very young, I might have made that very choice, but for people who come to it later on, after they have established careers and families and a network of friends, I have no respect for those who leave shattered lives, relationships and livellihoods in their wake. For the vast majority of us, there ARE things more important that putting on a skirt.

I'm sorry to read the contradiction in your words. You respect TS folk but only if they transition when you think that they should.

That you feel that those of us who "come to it later on" deserve no respect shows that you have absolutely no understanding of how devastating Gender Dysphoria can be. Since you feel that I have no right to transition, perhaps you think I would have been better to take the only alternative that was left to me - suicide?

Your option would have left my 89 year old father shattered beyond belief, my friends (who were more numerous than I realised) traumatised and my work colleagues shocked - but hey, that's OK because according to you after I have established a career and a network of friends I don't have the right to do the only thing that would let me live!

It doesn't matter one bit to you that I was feeling physically sick every time that I had to continue the pretence of being a man, or that it was adversely affecting my diabetes - I don't deserve any respect because I transitioned later in life.

Being transsexual is not about "putting on a skirt" it is about giving in to the fact that your gender does not match your birth sex and for many of us, myself included, it is about choosing between life and death. Fortunately, when I took the decision to live I didn't need either your permission or your respect.

[Daphne Renee]

"If a friend or relative doesn't like it, that's their problem. If they don't want me in their life because of it, then unfortunately that's the best answer."

(I pulled this quote from another thread, as an example.)

Phrases like these get thrown around here quite a lot. It sounds courageous, but I wonder how true it is. It has not happened to me (yet?), but it seems to me that the emotional impact of being rejected by someone you love should not be taken so lightly.

Is there anyone here with experience in this matter? Of those of you who came out, how many actually lost someone? How did it feel? Did you really just "make new friends"?

I havent really experienced this. The only thing I have to say if they were really your friends would you actually lose them? If just wearing different clothes caused them to not be your friends anymore then perhaps they were never really your friends to begin with. Now your wife and or children would be a different story.
I am not saying it would be easy to "just make new friends" .. It would be difficult. There are those who are so unhappy when not dressed they are nearly suicidal. It would be better to lose a few so called friends that to be depressed and miserable constantly.
There are also those who say dressing is more of a hobby something they enjoy but is not really necessary. If you were in that category then I dont know that its really necessary to involve alot of people. In the end though only you can decide whats best for you..

[CatAttack]

I havent really experienced this. The only thing I have to say if they were really your friends would you actually lose them? If just wearing different clothes caused them to not be your friends anymore then perhaps they were never really your friends to begin with. Now your wife and or children would be a different story.
I am not saying it would be easy to "just make new friends" .. It would be difficult. There are those who are so unhappy when not dressed they are nearly suicidal. It would be better to lose a few so called friends that to be depressed and miserable constantly.
There are also those who say dressing is more of a hobby something they enjoy but is not really necessary. If you were in that category then I dont know that its really necessary to involve alot of people. In the end though only you can decide whats best for you..

The thing is, once you reach a certain point, you kind of aren't the same person.. My therapist had a pretty good way of explaining this: There's like a "boy's club" and there's a "girl's club". At some point during your transition [assuming you are successful, and mtf], you will be subconsciously transferred to the "girl's club" in the minds of other people. Like people will start holding doors for you, interact with you differently, etc.. and your male friends may stop inviting you to do "boy's club" things with them, while your female friends may start inviting you to do "girl's club" things. I don't know if this makes any sense the way I just put it haha. It's all just part of the transition.. This doesn't necessarily mean that your old male friends don't want to be friends with you anymore, more that they just see you differently [as a girl]. Unfortunately, some people just can't or won't handle/understand transness, and this may mean losing some of your old friends or family ): ... everyone who commits to transition has to come to terms and accept the fact that they may lose some friends and possibly family.

[sherri]

Fortunately, for those who make such decisions, your opinion of them or respect for what they do matters little, if any.

Such decisions are not made lightly but you might consider the turmoil which goes on under the surface before making such a blanket comment disrespecting many who are forced to make what is likely the most difficult decision of their lives.

I'm sorry to read the contradiction in your words. You respect TS folk but only if they transition when you think that they should.

That you feel that those of us who "come to it later on" deserve no respect shows that you have absolutely no understanding of how devastating Gender Dysphoria can be. Since you feel that I have no right to transition, perhaps you think I would have been better to take the only alternative that was left to me - suicide?

Your option would have left my 89 year old father shattered beyond belief, my friends (who were more numerous than I realised) traumatised and my work colleagues shocked - but hey, that's OK because according to you after I have established a career and a network of friends I don't have the right to do the only thing that would let me live!

It doesn't matter one bit to you that I was feeling physically sick every time that I had to continue the pretence of being a man, or that it was adversely affecting my diabetes - I don't deserve any respect because I transitioned later in life.

Being transsexual is not about "putting on a skirt" it is about giving in to the fact that your gender does not match your birth sex and for many of us, myself included, it is about choosing between life and death. Fortunately, when I took the decision to live I didn't need either your permission or your respect.

The two of you are presuming quite a lot, without much basis, I might add. What makes either of you think I don't understand what it's like to struggle with these issues?!? I admit up front that I do not suffer from the acute dysphoria that makes life as a GM unbearable, but hardly a day goes by in "my straight life" that I don't wish I could go about the business and pleasures of life presenting as the femme person I really am. And there have been times when I have given long, serious thought to chucking all the constraints and letting the chips fall where they may.

But here is the truth of the matter, I think: I am like the vast majority of people on this forum and out in the world for whom gender bending is not a matter of life and death. Years of expression, observation and common sense tell me that only a small percentage of the mtf community is truly, thoroughly transsexual -- "born in the wrong body", so to speak. For the majority, it may be sexual dalliance or hobby or genuine gender expression or something in between, but it is not a do-or-die situation. And many, many of us have come to this later in life, after we have made profound commitments to family, career, etc. But we get caught up in all this, things like this forum feed it, the pink fog rolls in and we start rationalizing -- even appropriating (falsely) the language and emotional processes of the genuine TS.

And those life choices and commitments we made before (or while) we "found ourselves? They're real, and they matter. That wife you pledged your life to? She deserves a mate who will honor that commitment. Those children you had? I believe with all my heart that children need and deserve a mom and a dad, and when you had those kids, you took on a sacred obligation to provide them with the best life and upbringing you can. And that career you're in the middle of? Your family has a right to expect you to protect that career and provide for them; your employer has a right to expect you to make responsible choices; and your society has a right to expect you to be a productive, self-supporting citizen. And those friendships you have cultivated over the years, some of which are very special? Toss them if you so choose, but sooner or later you will realize you are poorer for their loss. We all want a more perfect world and society that will accept us however we choose to express gender, and so we as a gender community seem to exalt those who take the ultimate leap, automatically assuming that it is admirable. But my response is, maybe, maybe not. It depends a lot on that person's situation, and the other lives involved. Maybe one of the most effective ways we have of impacting the world's opinion of us, and thus promoting acceptance, is for them to see us making responsible choices and honoring our commitments in life -- and one of the surest ways I can think of to foster disrespect and non-acceptance is to let them see us as a bunch of obsessive/compulsives.

Finally, one more news flash: self-realization is not the be-all and end-all of life. There are other things that are as important or more important. Sometimes, it is the sacrifices and compromises we're willing to make that define us and make us good people more than any sort of self -absorption. Sometimes there's not much difference between self-realization and selfishness, and there is virtually no redeeming virtue in selfishness, nor in any rationale that justifies it.

As for you Rianna, you may well be one of the small minority that is genuinely, profoundly dysphoric, and as I tried to point out without launching this long diatribe, exceptions are in order for people like you. And you're right, you don't need my permission to make whatever choices you wish. But if you think you can lead a happy life without other people's respect, you truly are delusional. You may not need my respect, but if you make irresponsible, selfish choices that earn other people's disrespect, you are in for a rough, lonely time. I hope it's worth it to you. I'm not saying you are being irresponsible or selfish, I don't know you -- I'm just saying that if you are, you will pay a price. There will be a trade-off.

[sometimes_miss]

Hmmmm. Boys club, girls club. Right. But it's more like they sent me to the pervert's club; membership, me. At least that's the way it felt when I came out to a few. Yes, I had dreams of being accepted, even if reluctantly. But it was just another delusion, the same one that makes us want so much to be loved for ourselves that we set ourselves up to be 'accidently' outed, with the slim hope of things turning out alright. I wasn't openly treated badly, it was more like I was just being excluded from everyone elses' life, and slowly left on my own. In retrospect, I should have seen the results before any of the episodes took place; the signs were all there. Oh well.

[CatAttack]

Hmmmm. Boys club, girls club. Right. But it's more like they sent me to the pervert's club; membership, me. At least that's the way it felt when I came out to a few. Yes, I had dreams of being accepted, even if reluctantly. But it was just another delusion, the same one that makes us want so much to be loved for ourselves that we set ourselves up to be 'accidently' outed, with the slim hope of things turning out alright. I wasn't openly treated badly, it was more like I was just being excluded from everyone elses' life, and slowly left on my own. In retrospect, I should have seen the results before any of the episodes took place; the signs were all there. Oh well.

I'm sorry to hear this ):

But I'm talking about transitioning here, not CDing. Now, I'm not saying that CDs are perverts or whatever, but CD and TS will be perceived differently. To a lot of uneducated average people, CDing seems to be creepy/perverted because it's perceived to be like a secret thing done in the darkness of the night at some cheap motel room somewhere and has undertones of eroticism. Of course, the media doesn't really help educate people with this either, as CDs are often portrayed negatively as creepers [Silence of the Lambs comes to mind]. Conversely, one going through transition is open and begins steadily looking and behaving more feminine in everyday life [and I don't mean crazy over-feminine with heavy makeup skirts and heels all the time; it's more like a natural feminine]. But like I said, this is if you are successful in your transition. Like if you keep your male mannerisms or is just unlucky and have very masculine characteristics to remind everyone of your once guy-hood, you may never be accepted into the genuine "girl's club" while at the same time be shunned from the "boy's club" by straying too far from the party line. I hope what I wrote made sense lol.. and I don't mean any offense to CDs!! :0

[Rianna Humble]

The two of you are presuming quite a lot, without much basis, I might add. What makes either of you think I don't understand what it's like to struggle with these issues?!?

There is a very simple answer to that question. You make me see that you don't understand. Both of your diatribes, the first stating that you have no respect for those of us who have given up the struggle agains gender dysphoria later in life. The second just entrenching the idea that you are trying to equate the cross-dresser's occasional desire to present as a woman with the inability of someone to go on living a lie brought about by the anomaly of being born with the wrong thing between the legs.

I have actively supported people who cross-dress for any number of different reasons, and despite false allegations to the contrary have never believed that I am better than them, but I don't believe that I have any more insight into what makes them tick than you have demonstrated into the hell on earth that is acute gender dysphoria.

I have proved both in my prior life and in my transition that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. I don't need to catalogue the sacrifices I have made for those who deserve my respect. Those who need to know do know but there came a point where I had to say enough is enough and trust that they would understand.

I will repeat my earlier point, it is fortunate for me that I didn't need your respect before I chose life over death.

[Shareecd]

I came out to my family and it was a big loss for me. I wrote about this around Easter week and posted it on the transsexual forum. To capture it all My sister who I thought would be understanding, and my brothers have asked me not to come to family events and or be around their children. My daughters are refusing to let me see my granddaughters. I really miss them all and know it is hard for them to accept, but I would not have cut any of them off if they would have come to me with a change like this. My church is against being TS and I am no longer able to take communion. But i started my transition and have come so far. The farther down my path I go the more I know it is right for me. I do miss everyone as I said, I am coping with the loss. My therapist warned me about this before I came out to everyone. I prayed a lot and searched deep within. I know I made the right decision to tell the truth.
Jaycee

[ReineD]

I hope you'll accept my 3rd party objective observations as I attempt to translate what you've both written.

Sherri, you're saying that in your opinion, most TSs know at an early age they are TS and you support their transition. You further state that for most others, the wish to transition later in life might be the result of a CDer's major pink fog rather than gender dysphoria, and they do have an obligation to wife, children, friends, and employers to get a grip of themselves and not abandon everything just because they're lost in pink fog.

Rianna, you are saying there are some TSs who although they may know when they are younger, choose to postpone the decision to transition in order to spare elderly parents or wait until such time in their lives when the transition will produce the least amount of collateral damage to others, as you did.

Do I have it right so far?

Sherri, you might consider there are cases when later transition is indicated such as Rianna's, and also that as more information is available on the internet and as degrees of gender dysphoria plus as people's individual psychological makeups do vary, it is possible for a TS to come to the realization later in life she cannot continue to live as a male. And if she does continue to live male, it will cause her extreme anguish. In other words it is not always a case of pink fog that would cause someone to need to transition in her 40s, 50s, or 60s, even if these cases are rare? If this is the case and if there is already a divorce due to the stress that surely will exist in a marriage over such a situation (this happened to a friend of mine ... she realized the need to transition in her late 40s after her divorce), or the kids are grown, or retirement is on the horizon, will you allow there are situations where a later transition is possible without a person throwing their life responsibilities to the wind?

And Rianna, can you see that Sherri did not consider your particular situation when she first wrote her opinion, but she rather spoke in broader terms and from her own perspective since it is impossible to take into account every single permutation when writing in a few short paragraphs?



... or, maybe I should just mind my own business.

[Rianna Humble]

Rianna, you are saying there are some TSs who although they may know when they are younger, choose to postpone the decision to transition in order to spare elderly parents or wait until such time in their lives when the transition will produce the least amount of collateral damage to others, as you did.

Do I have it right so far?

That is only partly what I was saying. I know and have met other people like myself who although we knew from an early age tried to do anything rather than transition becasue we believed we were the only freaks in the world. At the same time, in my personal case, there were things that I was unable to do because of my dysphoria.

A common theme with those others that I have mentioned is that we came to a point where it was impossible to go on living the lie, so we literally faced the choice between transition and death.

During the period where I was contemplating suicide daily, I still delayed doing the only thing that would releive the problem because of potential collateral damage for people that I respect and admire. Some will choose to believe that this indicates I was not serious about it, but those for whom I delayed recognised why I had acted this way without needing to be told. One even scolded me for letting my consideration for her get in the way of doing what I needed to do.

Rianna, can you see that Sherri did not consider your particular situation when she first wrote her opinion, but she rather spoke in broader terms and from her own perspective since it is impossible to take into account every single permutation when writing in a few short paragraphs?

If I were alone with the type of experience that I have just described, I might possibly have refrained from commenting. Equally if Sherri had simply said that she does not understand those of us who transition in later life, I might have tried to explain but no more.

I'm sorry, but no-one who truly understands what acute gender dysphoria does to a person could make such a broad brush statement as to say they have no respect for someone who finally caves in and transitions later in life.

[Nicole Erin]

I have not lost any friends or family, in fact I have a small circle to begin with.

I don't honestly think people treat me different cause of who I am. I mean my social life is as big a joke now as it ever was, it has not got better or worse.

[Sara Jessica]

The two of you are presuming quite a lot, without much basis...

It really wasn't hard to come to the conclusion, you said it yourself in very basic terms. It was a position which you supported brilliantly in your post that followed which essentially demonstrated to those who transition later in life (with variables in play such as family and career) that they are blessed in that they do not require your validation to follow their path.

It's fair to say that the place you describe is the place I desire to be, to hold true to my commitments to the life I have built. Yet to discount any individual's degree of GID in making such blanket statements is uninformed, foolish and reckless.

...I know and have met other people like myself who although we knew from an early age tried to do anything rather than transition becasue we believed we were the only freaks in the world.

This is an all too common sentiment of those who came of age before the internet. I knew exactly what was going on with my gender issues from a very young age. It's amazing to look back on how intuitive and acute those feelings were for someone so young. The issue as I grew up was information, or should I say the lack thereof. All that was readily available were the garbage portrayals on television or psychiatry journals in the college library, many of which focused on experimental cures for GID which didn't speak to me in the least bit. As a result, I proceeded to do what I felt I needed to do, repress my GID and move on with life as best I could. This included falling in love with a wonderful woman and building a family which I cherish beyond imagination. Doing so doesn't diminish the validity of GID felt by myself or anyone who has travelled a similar path.

We have a generation of potentially late transitioners who follow those in the same boat who have come before us. With readily available information these days, I do believe our numbers will decrease as time goes by but the middle-age transitioner will not become extinct as there are those who will still fight their GID and build their lives before succumbing to the enormity of it all.

I'm sorry, but no-one who truly understands what acute gender dysphoria does to a person could make such a broad brush statement as to say they have no respect for someone who finally caves in and transitions later in life.

Don't be sorry Rianna, you are absolutely right.

You know what's ridiculous? On this side of the gender playground I'm finding myself having to defend my right to transition if it were the correct decision for me while on the other side, I've had to demonstrate the validity of the middle path, of trying to hold true to those things Sherri described in such absolute terms. Go figure.

[Jorja]

First, let me start by saying I am one who has transitioned, had SRS, and I am a successful business owner and happy with my life . I do not claim to know everything or anything related to this crazy thing we call gender dysphoria. This is my personal story and how I fought the battles of my gender dysphoria. You can debate it if you like, it doesn’t matter what you say or think. We are all different and have our own versions of this battle and situations we must deal with.

When I came out to my family and friends, I lost most of them. Two or three stuck around but really didn’t understand any of it and had no idea of what they were in for. They were there for me though. That meant and still means a lot to me.

From that day on, I was called everything from faggot to pervert and back again. I was cut out of everything family. It hurt so bad I wanted to just die right then and there. I didn’t though. I managed to suck it up and move onward mostly alone and lost. I soon realized that a thick skin was going to be necessary if I was going to make it.

With time I slowly started making new friends. Friends that knew and understood my situation. Friends that didn’t call me names or exclude me from events or get togethers. Friends that would lift me up when I needed it. So did I miss my old friends and family? Hell yes I did. Was there anything I could do to regain them and bring them back into my life? No, not at that time. I just cut off all ties to them except for making sure my parents had a phone number where the could contact me at anytime. Who needed that crap?

To make a long story short, years went by with no contact from family or old friends. By then it didn’t matter because I was not the same person they knew. Then about 15 years ago now, my phone rang. It was my father. He asked to meet with me. We had a long talk and decided some things were said by both sides that were not truly meant. I got to spend the last 10 years with my family before my father passed away. Finally, just last year my brother came around and we get along great now. Many of the friends that were left behind have also come around. Right now today, there is one person not in my life that should be. Will we ever resolve our differences? I don’t know. I would like to.

The thing is, never give up hope if family and friends don’t like or support your decision. While it does hurt not to have them on your side, it is not the end of the world.

[Samantha B L]

I'm getting old and at this stage of my life I am out to most people unless I don't even know them or in the event there is no reason to bring it up. I have lost some casual freindships because people noticed things about me in facebook and I have had family members who accepted me but were totally against my "tranny-ism" and for them I had to put on an act like I had "quit" CD'ing

[sherri]

I wasn't openly treated badly, it was more like I was just being excluded from everyone elses' life, and slowly left on my own. In retrospect, I should have seen the results before any of the episodes took place; the signs were all there. Oh well.

It is that very marginalization that doesn't seem as traumatic as more heated reactions, but in the end can effectively be as devastating, or it would be for me. Tolerance in our society may be on the rise ever so slightly, but gender benders are still gonna be pushed out to the periphery -- that's bad enough, but within one's own little world it would be such an unrecoverable loss.

My sister who I thought would be understanding, and my brothers have asked me not to come to family events and or be around their children. My daughters are refusing to let me see my granddaughters.

That sort of rejection would break my heart.

I hope you'll accept my 3rd party objective observations as I attempt to translate what you've both written ... or, maybe I should just mind my own business.

I always welcome and respect your voice of reason.

[Sheila11]

And those life choices and commitments we made before (or while) we "found ourselves? They're real, and they matter. That wife you pledged your life to? She deserves a mate who will honor that commitment. Those children you had? I believe with all my heart that children need and deserve a mom and a dad, and when you had those kids, you took on a sacred obligation to provide them with the best life and upbringing you can. And that career you're in the middle of? Your family has a right to expect you to protect that career and provide for them; your employer has a right to expect you to make responsible choices; and your society has a right to expect you to be a productive, self-supporting citizen. And those friendships you have cultivated over the years, some of which are very special? Toss them if you so choose, but sooner or later you will realize you are poorer for their loss. We all want a more perfect world and society that will accept us however we choose to express gender, and so we as a gender community seem to exalt those who take the ultimate leap, automatically assuming that it is admirable. But my response is, maybe, maybe not. It depends a lot on that person's situation, and the other lives involved. Maybe one of the most effective ways we have of impacting the world's opinion of us, and thus promoting acceptance, is for them to see us making responsible choices and honoring our commitments in life -- and one of the surest ways I can think of to foster disrespect and non-acceptance is to let them see us as a bunch of obsessive/compulsives.

Finally, one more news flash: self-realization is not the be-all and end-all of life. There are other things that are as important or more important. Sometimes, it is the sacrifices and compromises we're willing to make that define us and make us good people more than any sort of self -absorption. Sometimes there's not much difference between self-realization and selfishness, and there is virtually no redeeming virtue in selfishness, nor in any rationale that justifies it.

Thankyou.

It is the life committments and responsibilities that keep me in the little stash in the closet. I have accepeted that it will always be this way and life can still be wonderful if I will look beyond myself. I believe we are here for other people. To love, to serve, to cherish, to uplift. What can I do for you today?