Not the obvious...
I was thinking today at work (well right now) about the time frame for my transistion. I was given clearance for HRT but I am not sure if I am going to start right away (other than a small dose of estrogen to replace the testosterone I am currently taking (kallmann's).
I had wanted (and really needed deep inside) to be a woman. I have found lots of support via a tall TS support group and through my gender counclier. I thought a month ago that I would just say screw it (see other thread), but another onset of depression is telling me that is NOT going to happen. Also learning about laws in the state of California about rights for TS people has bolstered my resolve to transistion in the next 5 year max (or course things may change, but...)
What has gotten me is my lack of interest in CDing right now... and that has gotten me thinking about the true differences between CD and TS. Before I would even consider full time (RLT) I want FFS, mainly for my brow contour and a little in the chin. I have no problem going out in a blouse and a pair of tall womens jeans effectivly in drab mode. The whole massive amounts of foundation, lipstick, etc just seems not real to me. I think a women (including myself) looks much better with maybe a little foundation, some eyeshadow and maybe lip glass, conservative lipstick. I am not out to pass right now anyway... I want to be myself, and myself is MY hair and my face, etc.
The big thing though is I am only into "real" clothing, not short skirts and shorts, high heels, etc. I have a pair of beautiful 1 inch wide heel sandles in black that I adore, and have actually worn in drab (with jeans) with only one of two comments. To me the pretty longer skirts (below knee), a pair of tennis shoes with girl jeans of pants, a nice blouse, low or flat shoes, are what I like and see myself in... i.e. "normal" clothing, passable.
It really seems like CDs are obsessive with bras and panties, corsets, pantyhose, etc. I personally do not like pantyhose all the time (unless it is with a black longer skirt, etc), and can see why GGs don't like them either. I admire the CDs that can see this and wear clothing that is more passable, then not. Just go into a mall and look at the women, most are wearing either shorts in the summer or skirts, pants, etc in the winter with cute little sweaters. Bra on the other hand are seen as ultilitarian (to hold up the breasts) and less with sexual pleasure (which I do not get out a wearing women clothing.
I guess my view of my sexulity being a TS is a bit different than CDs... opinions
BTW vallies avatar is exactly what I am talking about, cute, sudued and
very real womanlly... just how I want to be.
-Mandy