Shake hands, hug, or kiss?

[Lexine]

Hug most definitely! Kiss on the cheek if we know each other a lot!

[Frédérique]

[SIZE="2"]I appreciate the many kind words, and the many varied responses to this topic! I’m sorry I haven’t responded sooner, but I was a little predisposed yesterday, as you may imagine. I was quite nervous about submitting this one, not only because it can branch off into several other topics for discussion, but also because it may also shine an unwanted light on one’s own phobias, namely mine – who AM I, anyway?
[/SIZE]

[SIZE="2"]I come from a family where there was NO touching at all, unless my mother was touching my forehead to feel if I had a fever! There was a dearth of physical contact - no hugging, no kissing, and no comforting sensuality to speak of. I only discovered physical human interaction when I left my surroundings, quickly learning that there were plenty of things I was missing. I’m beginning to think that my crossdressing sprang from the touch-free environment I grew up in, and I filled my life with all the tactile pleasures I could find, leading me, quite naturally, to wear clothing that hugs me all day long. Perhaps crossdressing helps to fill the void experienced in one’s childhood, but that’s another discussion, for another time…[/SIZE]

As to acting differently when dressed....... I find that along with appearing female other behaviors can change substantially.

[SIZE="2"]Yes, it affects me in certain ways, even though I am largely the same person, dressed or in drab. I get quieter, and more emotional, when I’m wearing my favorite clothes – It may have something to do with this “hugging” feeling I’ve already alluded to. This is another topic worthy of further discussion, in fact is it possible we dress in the hope of changing our behavior? I know one thing; I do not wish to carry my male “baggage” when I meet someone, especially another crossdresser. I actively seek to disassociate myself from masculinity in this borderline extreme manner, but it’s all for a good cause – my mental well-being. I believe that, in my crossdressed state, I can leap over the boundaries that hinder interaction and express compassion for the other “fellow.”[/SIZE]

I am a pretty tactile person. I am usually quite accurate when it comes to "reading" people. So I would use the greeting that seemed most comfortable. But a kiss...no, not at a first meeting...

[SIZE="2"]It may be too far-fetched to think that a kiss would be possible in the situation I described. I mean, “I don’t know you from a hole in the ground,” as my Kansas realtor once told me! Yeah, we don’t really know too much about each other, do we? Luckily, we get to meet THIS way, and preserve the bubble of our crossdressed existence, but I insist I would be affectionate if we were to actually meet. This highly personal feeling is based on many lost opportunities I have suffered over the years, where an expression of love or reassurance on my part, or vice versa, would have really helped. When I broke up with my girlfriend years ago, she hugged and kissed me, even though she was angry with me – she knew we might not ever see each other again. We DID meet again, eight years later, and we hugged and kissed again, happy to be together and alive. If I met a long-lost male friend, a handshake would no doubt suffice, but I might not LOVE the person, or what they do. In the situation I have outlined in the OP, a MtF crossdresser meets another MtF crossdresser, and we have (no doubt) tapped into a kind of sensuality that other males invariably fail to appreciate – we are special to each other in that regard, yet vulnerable, so I would act accordingly, but it would NOT be an act…[/SIZE]

Would this be for cultural reasons (American's are very standoffish and often mean)? Or would this be because of our masculine upbringings (many many men tend to be stoic and standoffish by nature)? Or am I just a far more openly expressive person (and some of you are with me in being like this)?

[SIZE="2"]This is another excellent topic for discussion, i.e. the “uptight” nature of American males, in fact I was going to allude to this idea in the OP. Unfortunately, it really has nothing to do with crossdressing, except in a peripheral way, helping to explain why crossdressers such as me feel the need to go underground. I mentioned having a continental attitude in terms of interaction between two males – there’s no doubt that males in other countries show affection differently than we do here, and it has a lot to do with our “masculine” upbringing, buying into what society expects us to endorse. I don’t think any male is less masculine because he may show affection for another male, but, for some reason, here in the 21st century, America is very uncomfortable with affection, displays of affection, or same-sex ANYTHING. It’s a sad state of affairs. Around here, you won’t see a male hugging another male for very long, and the image of a male kissing another male is beyond the pale, thanks to homophobia. A MtF crossdresser hugging another MtF crossdresser is completely beyond comprehension for most “normal” people, but there is a whole world of choice, compassion, expression, and alternative sensibilities just beneath the carefully manicured surface of America they WANT you to see. In other words, all is well – fancy a kiss?

Maybe you and I can perform a mutual curtsy…

I promise I'll write a short post one of these days! [/SIZE]

[carhill2mn]

It would depend upon the circumstances. If we were meeting for the first time at a non-CD or "T" event, I would shake your hand as ladies would in similar circumstances. If we were meeting under other circumstances, I would probably hug you. My actions would be determined by how I think a "lady" would act in the same circumstances.

Also, Happy Birthday!

[Kathryn Philips]

I would only shake hands in a business context. Since I will most probably never be dressed at work shaking hands is out of the question. For me hugs are for very close friends and family. If I ever have the fortune of meeting real people as kathryn I will greet them with a kiss on the cheek or both cheeks (I am a Spanish woman where the norm is to kiss both sides). before that happens I will have to learn how to kiss on the cheek like a woman. Males kiss differently...

[Debutante]

I would certainly give you a hug, Frederique... and maybe a kiss: on the cheek.
You deserve some care and attention in a way that women give each other.....

[maturegirlrobin]

Hi,
This is such an interesting subject ! In my xcase I am much more of a hugger as a feminine person then in my male side. It just seems so Right for me personally to Hugg when in femme mode. I love the closeness emotionally.

[Shoe Fettish Boy]

If I'm wearing a dress, I wanna hug and kiss, and if it's someone who thinks I'm cute I appreciate a little spank on my behind. Any other time a hand shake is fine. Unless someone still wants to take it there.

[GaleWarning]

A belated happy birthday, Frederique.
I tend not to be a touchy, feely kiind of person with people I am meeting for the first time.
If you were in male mode, I might shake your hand.
If en-femme, I would probably just say, Hi!

[Daintre]

I have never hugged even family members. As for kissing, well I did kiss my ex. Finally the hand shake, if it was required to close a deal then yes I would shake hands. Other than that the best I can do is a nod to acknowledge you.

[Patricia Jane]

Frederique; If I meet you I woluld Love to give you a Big Hug for all the wonderful missives I have read, Then when I knew you better it would be a hug and a sisteriely Kiss. I alrerady think I know you. Love patricia jane,

[kimberly ann487]

A hug or maybe a peck on the cheek at least. Careful of that makeup ! lol