Until joining this forum earlier this year, I had not knowingly communicated with another crossdresser, or attempted to do so. I am in my early 40s, and have been a crossdresser my entire life. Although I have a wonderful and accepting wife, I came to the realization that something was missing in my life – discussion with and friendship from other crossdressers. So I took the plunge, and not without some small measure of unfounded consternation, joined the forum.
Upon joining, I was welcomed with warm, loving, and open arms, for which I am quite grateful. It was amazing. I could not believe such a place as this existed. As a result of participating on this forum, and considering other members' thoughts and ideas, I have learned so much about myself, and considered aspects of crossdressing that had not previously occurred to me. This forum has provided me with an incredible experience, and has opened my mind to a deeper understanding and appreciation of not only myself, but crossdressing in general.
But what is the true purpose of this forum? On a post I submitted recently (“My Closet is My Blessed Sanctuary. Is Yours?”), I wrote about my thoughts and opinions on residing in the closet, and that, for me, it is a positive experience. In response to my post, a fellow member posted the following:
Although I can appreciate the frustration this member must feel, and her desire for acceptance from society, I am quite disheartened and confused by the message, and the negative manner in which it was conveyed.Loserville has honored citizens...
I'm not surprised that so many people "here" support the delusions celebrated in the original post.
Meh.
The question asked was, "What about my view of the closet"?
It's a box, a windowless place with a door, dark most of the time...
You want to live there, and worship the voices in your head, while fingering your frills go ahead.
"Society" is you too, and "we" can get along with a minority of members not participating.
If you were to come out and participate, society would change - in ways you'd like.
But, you won't make the effort, which leaves others to do "the work" for you - as the OP notes - and "loves" us for.
Spare me your poetry and prose about "your" useless to the rest of us closet.
Pity some of you private "PMer's" won't do more than the OP...
What a waste of numbers.
Personally, I did not join this forum to be shamed by other crossdressers that do not respect my desire and need to remain in the closet. I did not join this forum to be made to feel inferior to crossdressers that decide to go public, and to be told I lack courage. I most definitely did not join this forum to be told by another crossdresser that I am a resident of “Loserville.”
Although true the above-referenced post is a rather extreme example of an offensive, arrogant, and intolerant post, I have noticed that there are other members that hold and express similar views within other threads. Obviously, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and has a right to express their opinion. Open debate and discussion provides the cornerstone of freedom, and it is to be cherished, honored, and exercised without fear of oppression and reprisal. And if it is not already quite evident by my other posts, I thoroughly enjoy debate and discussion as much as the next girl. There is much to be learned through the consideration of different and/or opposing viewpoints, and the mental exercise of such consideration can be quite rewarding.
However, in my opinion, ranting about closeted crossdressers that refuse to go public, dismissing such crossdressers’ privacy without even the slightest consideration for the crossdressers’ circumstances, and utilizing negative bullying tactics designed to shame does not constitute healthy or productive debate and discussion in my book.
The irony of it all is that this sub-group of crossdressers believe strongly in the most noblest of pursuits - freedom of self-expression and freedom from persecution. But what about my freedom to remain in the closet? Is my freedom to choose my own path any less important or less relevant than someone who chooses a different path? If the message is that society will accept us if we all come out together in numbers, how can we possibly expect society to be civil to and understanding of us when we cannot even be civil to and understanding of members within our own ranks?
Regardless, I am in the closet, and that is where I shall remain. Call me a citizen of “Loserville” all you want. I will not change my mind. I have worked hard for my education and career. I have a family. I have a mortgage, car payments, and a plethora of other bills to pay. When I lose my job as a result of coming out, who is going to pay my bills? Who is going to feed my family? When my child goes to school, who is going to take care of her, and protect her from the playground bullies that will discriminate against her for the mere reason that her father is a crossdresser? What about the consequences to my wife? She is not a crossdresser, but she married one. I could go on and on and on, but I am sure you get the point. But even beyond this, what about the simple freedom to remain silent about my crossdressing for no other reason than I believe it is no one else’s business, and I choose not to share?
So what exactly is the purpose of this forum? Is it a support group forum? Is it an activist forum? Is it a combination of the two?
Although I appreciate, respect, and support issues worthy of activism as much as the next girl (and crossdressing is most certainly a worthy cause, and I have heaped high praise on such girls in the past, and will continue to do so in the future), I simply cannot sacrifice everything I have worked for simply because an intolerant and unforgiving crossdresser has called me inferior, weak, and a loser.
As to the question I have asked, I believe this forum is a support group forum. I have met many wonderful girls here, and have made some fantastic friends. I look forward to meeting more of you in the future, developing further my friendships, and forging more. If the crossdressers’ cause of freedom and acceptance by society is also somehow furthered by certain members of this forum, or the forum itself, then that is fantastic! In this regard, I have absolutely no doubt that this forum has opened many curious eyes throughout its existence, both crossdressers and non-crossdressers alike. I cannot help but conclude and believe that this forum has had a tremendous, positive impact on the cause of the crossdresser, and will continue to do so.
But to those members within the forum that disagree with other members’ viewpoints, I simply ask that you be respectful and civil with your discourse. In my opinion, this forum is quite special. I know I am not alone in this sentiment. I do not come here to be offended and insulted. I come here to learn, share, participate, offer support, and to make friends. I sincerely hope that is not too much to ask for.
Speaking of friendship and civil discourse, my friend Frederique recently submitted a post entitled “Discussion – a topic worthy of discussion?” For those of you that feel a need to put done and insult closeted crossdressers, or crossdressers of any kind, for that matter, I suggest you read her post. I previously mentioned that I have learned much since joining this forum. Perhaps, just maybe, you can learn something, too.
Originally Posted by Anne2345
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone: