Originally Posted by
Joanagreenleaf
The moderator has suggested that I refrain from making certain responses to this thread, and I agree.
I refer you all to the new post I made yesterday concerning, "Living The Good Lie."
I think much of what is said in that article is more productive than most of the things being said here.
I have said, several times, all I can say about the OP's original postings. The long response by the OP about "Are you an attorney?" etc. will do nothing to handle the OPs personal issues at home - which I think need more of the OP's time than this forum does.
Time will tell how wise it was and is for the OP to write and expound on such topics as, "My closet is my sanctuary." Clearly it wasn't and isn't... I have serious doubts about the outcome of such a way of dealing with reality, and I have expressed them for the OP, and others, to consider.
This is a new forum to me, yet my impression so far is that it tends to promote and favor repetitive posts about, "I just got my first panties!" and, "Do you think she knows?" and, "Shouldo I tell?" rather than encourage and support actual problem solving. Maybe the world needs that, maybe not. Well, this thread clearly indicates that more than just "panty color" is on the minds of at least some people. What exactly do you perceive as "problems" that we as CDs have? For those of us in the closet, the "problem" is going out, and we have made it clear that we are not about to do that. you seem to have the problem with our decision.
In this case, the OP was "nearly" outed by a family friend, then spent several days defending the notion that they were/are entitled to stay in the closet they had just, or, nearly, been dragged out of...
Since the horse was already out of the barn, as we say here in Texas, arguing that the horse should have been left alone is a waste of of the OPs time and effort when it comes to the OP's personal situation. The "near" outing should serve as a notice to do something besides close and lock the empty barn's door.
And, there is no "next time" in the OPs case. Either the OP has been discovered, or, they now keenly understand they will be - and the price of not dealing with these known facts will keep going up... Fear... I can think of no other reason why the OP would drag this discussion out so long against myself and others, instead of work out a solution to a pressing problem at home.
The problem the OP has, as I understand things, is not ultimately the crossdressing, family, friends, or, "society." It is, as many other posts have shown, the deception being practiced by the OP against the OP, the OP's family, the OP's future, etc.
Frankly, I can see little for the OP to do other than either give up crossdressing, or, to change how crossdressing is managed in their life.
That's about all I can say about this particular thread and how it has gone - which is not a new topic or a new response in my life...
I've been discussing this sort of thing - usually brought about by some personal crisis like the OPs, for about thirty years now with any number of TS/TG/CD/Bi/Gay people - who would wish the world was different, but slowly have to understand that it isn't, and won't be, until they change.
Frankly, given the number of very wealthy and very successful gays and lesbians that most of us could list easily, starting with Ellen, Rosie, and Doogie, I am surprised that there is still so much "doom and gloom" about this sort of thing. I do believe ELLEN paid heavily for outing herself and while she is working now, it hasn't always been the case. I think there a lot of hypocrites in the entertainment business. gays have been in movies , for example, from the beginning, yet they seem to not want it known to the general public and those who are outed pay for their lifestyle heavily though Valentino seems to have weathered the scorn remarkably well.
I do wonder, however, what will become of crossdressers in the next twenty years or so probably not much becasue most of us , i think, aren't going around trying to change the world. It sometimes seems that there are many on this forum who are out and about, but I'll bet that those who do represent just a very small percent. There is a kind of "electronic peer pressure" where members are made to feel that they "should" be out and about. ... From what I've seen of life, there will be less support or tolerance for CDs in the gay and lesbian community (among others), mostly because CDs bring too little of value please clarify what you mean by value. we are all just human beings and in that regard are equal.to the gay and lesbian community, or, - because CDs are generally so tangled up in their own webs - to anyone else. The issues that gays and lesbians have are entirely different from the issues CDs have. It could very well be that because of the public view of gays and lesbians that Cds have actually more problems then might have if they were not seen as part of the same group.
Really, this tempest in a teapot on this thread has gone nowhere because the closet is nowhere to go. SOME Gays and lesbians are now openly getting jobs, buying houses banks to my knowledge do not as about sexual preferences, and getting marrie in a few places and definitely NOT FRANCE.. CDs, already having most of that all along, are still doing very little to advance their own issues which are?, so what use can they be to others? why are we supposed to be of use to anyone else? we are not monopoly pieces, nor do we intentionally do battle for causes not our own. I served my country in the Army, that was all the battle I needed. In theory, I fought for what our Constitution gives to all citizens. I shouldn't actually have to fight to wear a skirt. All men (and women) are EQUAL under the law, unless , of course, you are a Republican legislator, then the Constitution doesn't mean anything for the common "man", and only the rich are equal. Life , Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness may be the greatest problem that we all have because every time we turn around, we keep having it denied us.
I have been asked several times in this thread, "What are you doing here?"
Maybe not much more than serving as a target for those with, seriously, nothing better to do - and no place else to do it. You could always try another forum where your ideas might be more welcome, if you don't like our topics of discussion.
I have been asked the same question by people in the gay pride parades, several of which are coming up in my area again soon...
In the past, I have said:
"I'm here because anyone who crosses a certain line in life, winds up on this side of the line we're both now on."
I'm not changing my response to that question yet, but I'm thinking I may.
Crossdressing, as a subset of life, is beginning to look like an immature response to life.
I guess you can still learn something new every day... It may just depend on how much attention you pay to what goes on around you - not just what's in you.