Outed to a colleague!

[Lainie]

Drove into Houston en femme--thrifted black long-sleeved blouse & knee-length pencil skirt; silver sandals with 2" heels; Aldo Firestone (silver-tone leather) purse; shaved legs, handlebar mustache, natural unisex hair, sunglasses, thin steel necklace, no make-up. Submitted 3 photographs to the Big Show at the Lawndale Gallery (wish me luck). Good crowd--several staffers, & various aspiring artists. No one batted an eye or commented.

Stopped for lunch at the Empire Cafe on Westheimer--my usual choice en femme. Counter girl admired my wallet--made of airmail envelope paper. Sat inside--it's hot in Houston. Then decided I had just enough time for coffee, so ordered & took it out to the patio. As I came out the door, a man stood up and walked toward me--a friend & former colleague. We'd worked together on various projects over the course of several years before I retired. I turned to my left--deadpan, not flashing a recognition signal--and found a seat with my back to him. Drank the coffee and thought about damage control. Of course he must have recognized me. Only a momentary glance, but the mustache is unusual, and he knows me. Time to go, decided to bite the bullet and say hello on the way out. Thought of sitting down en femme, but chickened out, and went to the car with my calmest "old-lady-in-heels" strut to get my change of clothes. I had to change then anyway, before the next appointment. Got the clothes, changed in the stall in the men's room. Coming out he was there at the urinal, so I washed my hands & said hello. I said, "That masquerade is a secret, but you can tell anyone I don't know". (My therapist told me that everyone must tell a secret once.) He said,"You're an artist! At first I thought it was you, but then thought i must have made a mistake." We had a nice chat, turns out it's also his favorite restaurant--great for a quiet mind-clearing detour if he's out of the office in the middle of the day.

Crazy world, but full of nice people.

[Sara Jessica]

Gasoline, meet the "in the closet" debate.

But really, en femme with a handlebar mustasche??? Methinks another choice of wording is in order.

[Badtranny]

Consider for a moment the size of the testicles one must have to go out in women's clothes while sporting a handlebar mustache.

I don't think tucking is ever gonna be an option for you sweetie.

My admiration is immeasurable.

[sissystephanie]

You are a very brave lady to go out enfemme, but with a handlebar mustache! I have been going out dressed enfemme, but with no wig and no makeup for over 6 years now. But I do not have a mustache!! My late wife used to do my wig and makeup, and I am lousy at it so I just decided to skip that part!! Nobody seems to care!!

But then you are an Artist!!!

[KatherynKarrde]

Sorry this is completely off Topic, but you have a Mighty Wallet? I just bought one of those. They are so great. Mine looks like three hole paper, and everyone comments on it.

Not for the on topic part. How did it feel to talk about it with your friend? I recently came out to a friend and I must say it felt so good to be able to not have to hide that part with her. Of course I'm sure you probably didn't get much into it with him.

Kate

[KatherynKarrde]

Consider for a moment the size of the testicles one must have to go out in women's clothes while sporting a handlebar mustache.

I don't think tucking is ever gonna be an option for you sweetie.

My admiration is immeasurable.

I also have to add this made me laugh out loud.

Kate

[Cynthia Anne]

Well, that just about does it! I will never close my eyes again when I kiss a woman! I may open them to a hairy supprise!!!!!

[Pythos]

I think I am reading a really successfully person that runs that fine line between male and female. Bravo!!!

[suzy1]

I think I am reading a really successfully person that runs that fine line between male and female. Bravo!!!

I think I am reading a wind up………………….I’m not am I. A handlebar moustache!

[PretzelGirl]

Good for you Lainie for just going and talking to your friend. So many times it seems easier to turn and hope the person didn't see, but I really think going head-on and just accepting it is happening is better. Not communicating just makes things uncomfortable and starts rumors. Kudos!

Love the wallet too!

[RICHELL]

I wish I could do that

[RICHELL]

I sure wish I could do that.

[Lainie]

Sara Jessica, I do think "en femme" is, well, approximate. Don't care for "bi-gendered", and "androgynous" doesn't connote the degree of polarization. I just ignore the mustache and enjoy the en femme, but of course the rest of the world sees it differently.

Badtranny & sissystephanie, I think maybe I'm not so much brave as thrill-junky. But it gets less traumatic the more you do. (Always be street smart and never let yourself be seen as a victim.)

KathrynKarrde, It felt GREAT to be able to talk to an old friend. We didn't discuss it, really--both on the way elsewhere--but I was on cloud 9 the whole rest of the day.
... and... glad you like the 3-hole paper version. I got that one and London Underground Map for my sons for next Xmas, musical score & Star Trek for their gals, water color for my wife. Hope they like 'em.

Cynthia Anne, not to worry about sudden changes before kissing. see next item.

Pythos & suzy1, I keep the 'stache because it's almost 4 decades old and it doesn't grow back overnight. I'm only a part-time girl. I suspect people think Lainie's a clown or an eccentric and not a serious person (obviously a case can be made for that view), which is why I'm not yet out to my old friends.

Sue, if only Weiner had accepted that he actually was a doofus and made jokes and apologies, he would be a laughingstock but maybe also still a congressman.

Richell, of course you can do this. It scared the bejesus out of me the first dozen times, but anyone can do it. The question is, "why would anyone want to?"

[Kerrie Sifton]

Now that was an entertaining story.
Reminds me of a story in the new yorker of a Miami crossdresser. Would go out dressed in a jacket, tie and pleated skirt stockings and heels.
Looked very fashionable.
Time for all of us to get out there with our skirts and pumps.

[DW]

I have also been seen dressed, with a mustache. The hotel I stay at knows I dress and has no issues with me sitting outside dressed in blouse, skirt & heels.

[Sara Jessica]

Sara Jessica, I do think "en femme" is, well, approximate. Don't care for "bi-gendered", and "androgynous" doesn't connote the degree of polarization. I just ignore the mustache and enjoy the en femme, but of course the rest of the world sees it differently.

Fair enough. I get where you are coming from even though I have a really hard time completely wrapping my head around it. Your thread actually inspired me to reactivate discussion within one of mine that had to do with androgyny in the mainstream...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...nstream)/page2

There seems to be a fine line, in my mind at least, between androgyny that I admire and the decidedly male in a dress thing. The latter being a question of social responsibility when it comes to paving the way for those in our community who are 24/7 as well as respect for women in general. Again though, I don't begrudge you for doing what you do, I'm just trying to understand it better.

[MissVictoria]

I go out to the local malls and restaurants, as feminine as possible, but without a wig and makeup. I wear a corset and forms, nails painted and all smooth. I just never got good at make-up or styling a wig. So I do without. If nothing else, it livens up everybody's day!