As I read through the threads on here, on occasion, I see people downing other's opinions, en femme appearance, etc.
While I do not agree with everything I see on here, it is not my place to judge the people that I do not agree with. Thus, I do not judge and keep my opinions to myself.
Non-cds judge us all the time, so I think we as a group could do with less judging of each other.
I'm not saying that I am right, but that is how I am and that is just my opinion.
In other words, if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all. I agree
You're absolutely right.
Many times I find myself wanting to bash someone but then I stop and think.
This is supposed to be a support group. I try my best to remember that.
If the person angers or somehow offends me, I simply move on to the next thread.
I agree Hon. Unfortunately that won't stop those who are arm chair warriors, who parrot other people's opinions and who think their way is the only way from judging others. It's just human nature.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
That is beautiful! If I can not speak well of a sister, I will not speak ill of her! Thank you!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I kind of have to disagree... (Surprised? Lol). I'd say you can judge people.... For what they do... Not for who they are... I don't hate someone and judge them poorly just because they are who they are but I will judge them it they do stupid, evil, unlawful things... Just my opinion and I won't judge you poorly if you disagree!! (Fine. If you disagree AND are wearing women's jeans your toast! Ha! ).
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
So Karren you admit that you will judge a book by its cover, if it is a denim cover, HA! Got you on this one.
LOL! That's a good one!
Only if its covered in blue denim!
Everyone judges everybody else every day to some extent. "She's pretty".. "He's a jerk". Wtf was that guy thinking that wore the lingerie on the US Air flight??". Try not to judge... My sons gay friend last night... After seeing this guy on Americas Got Talent doing a pole dance kind of enfemme... "He wasn't bad but wearing heels was a bit creepy"... People judge. Lucky for me... I don't care what people think! And its served me well!
Are you by any chance judging judgers, cdindy?
How dare you!
We'll have to put you in the dock for this one...
Gaby
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
Judge can mean "condemn" but it can also mean "determine". One of the jurors on the Anthony trial said that she could not judge people. I hope the other jurors, after they go into deliberations, can convice her that her judging is not condemning, but determining guilt or innocence based on the facts presented. No, we shouldn't condemn others for their look, or their opinions. But sometimes when discussing issues, we have to challenge others for their accuracy or basis for having an opinion. It's all part of civil discourse (as long it's kept civil). I don't want my subordinates at work to always agree with me, but encourage them to present another angle, inform me of something I might not know, and see things differently. Then, armed with more and better information, I can make better decisions. How boring (and useless) this place would be if everyone always agreed with a post. Unfortunately, it gets personal at times, and I've been guilty. Moderators have done a good job at letting us disagree - up to a point - as long as it's civil and productive.
you should send your message about judging to the crossdresser chatroom,while your at it,teach them about tolerence,compassion,and understanding.
Karren,what if it's red denim skinny jeans?Only if its covered in blue denim!
Everyone judges everybody else every day to some extent. "She's pretty".. "He's a jerk". Wtf was that guy thinking that wore the lingerie on the US Air flight??". Try not to judge... My sons gay friend last night... After seeing this guy on Americas Got Talent doing a pole dance kind of enfemme... "He wasn't bad but wearing heels was a bit creepy"... People judge. Lucky for me... I don't care what people think! And its served me well!
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 06-23-2011 at 08:47 AM. Reason: Merged - Please use the multi quote button
Drink up me heartys,yo ho!
Kate
Nicloe has it right. The quote is more truly, "Don't condemn, lest you be condemned."
If you don't someone will -- or we are what we are and that all what we are! or you can call me Ray or you can call me RJ or you can call RJJ Junior but you doesn't has to call me Johnson!
I don't worry about it cause I know in my heart -
Only Judy can judge me.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
You are right. As the saying goes "United we stand, divided we fall." And we are so damned divided it's not surprising transsexualism is still a mental disorder in the DSM V, that we as a group are a bargaining piece to be tossed overboard to pass legislation that would otherwise protect us, and we are attacked in even very trivial ways (such as the boy who got suspended for wearing a dress to school). Many of us bicker and argue over who is, and who isn't, and I've even seen transwomen argue over uterine transplants and being able to become pregnant ourselves. Our "community" is a mess, and we have only ourselves to blame.I'm not saying that I am right, but that is how I am and that is just my opinion.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein
I have to whole heartedly agree.
So many people here here ask things like how do I look or does my ass......
I will complement those I feel should be complemented (especially those I am very jealous of!) but thats pretty much it. I don't want to hurt anyones feeling nor start a flame war.
I think when you get to the point where you don't misjudge anyone, you've pretty much got this life figured out.
If someone wants honest feedback, it should be given honestly, and tactfully (if it's feedback you think they don't want to hear). Although people have said that this is a support site, I have mixed feelings about that. A community where we can share experiences and grow, offer advice, and stories, sure. But framing it as a support site makes me think that crossdressing is akin to something like alcoholism. A negative thing that we, and those close to us need to deal with. This may indeed be true for a portion of us, and those of us closeted and in relationships may have it the worst.
My own perspective, that I wish more people had, is that crossdressing is something that is awesome, offers you a perspective that few people will ever have, and can and should be an advantage in relationships.
I judge people who say "ye"
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
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proud of my President
If we are going to be Gods someday, I suppose it best we learn to judge rightly, and put ourselves in the other's heels, before bashing.
Sure it is. It's just not polite to announce your opinion of them in public, and it would be silly to expect your opinion to matter to them more than their own opinion. But it's most definitely your place to judge. You have to know what you think, and no one else is going to make that judgment for you.
We all make value judgements. That's just the nature of the human mind. This is nice, this is not nice. We do it all the time for the sensory, emotional, and intellectual input we get. People are no different. We see them, smell them, touch them, hear them, and even taste them (and I'm not talking about like a cannibal lol). When we do so we cannot avoid making some sort of value judgement.
The problem is this. We also have the need to feel that we are the best, the center of attention, and that the world revolves around us. Although this is certainly not the case, more or less all of us operate on this basis. Because of this, in the process of making value judgements, sometimes we go a step further and put ourselves upon a pedestal and feel that we are in a superior position to someone else because of some quality that they have that we may not like. That's a mistake. First of all, just because we make not like it, it doesn't NECESSARILY mean that it's truly a fault, because sometimes the fault lies within us, not the other person. But even if that's not the case, we are still in no position to say that we are better than others because first of all it's very difficult to make an objective judgement in that regard. Second of all we may have the same fault be might not be able to detect it. And third all if it were possible to see everything about all of us, everything we have ever said, done, or thought, we would find that there are so many faults that it would be difficult to say who is superior to who. What and who is in a position to set the criteria?
Therefore humility is a sign of wisdom, because when one truly looks within themselves, they see that I have so many faults, that I have no right to consider myself better than someone else because I don't like some quality, trait, or behavior that they have manifest.
There's a difference between a site such as this being an environment where cheerleading rules the day, where everyone walks on eggshells lest someone be offended in any way, and a place where meaningful discourse can occur. I'm for the latter and where opinions sometimes differ, so be it. Then there's the question of how one deals with inanity. Do you call it out or simply ignore it? More often I ignore but on occasion people must be called out on such things. Failure to do so reverts these pages to such an uninteresting place.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
This is an issue I have with the "if you don't have something nice to say..." line.
I have posted several pics here and there are usually three digit number of views and at most two digit number of comments. Does that mean a greater number of observers found my pics to be awful?
What I dislike about the notion of the quoted line is how it really does nothing if someone says nothing when something doesn't work. If that notion was applied in aviation, there would be a lot more wrecks due to mechanical failure.
There have been instances where I have refrained from saying anything (which goes right against my initial statement here, lol), but there was one set here where the individual looked absolutely terrible. I had to speak up, and was as nice as I could have been. It takes much more skill to offer constructive criticism than it does to just call names, but this set of pics....wow. I am sure I was offensive.
I do think what we need to be is honest. If we see that someone looks like a wreck, I think it is increadibly disingenuous to say " Oh girl you look great" or something affirming like that.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
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